What is lingerie for?

I got into this topic with my girl. I'm not going to detail the nature of the disagreement but it emerged very quickly that she and I saw a very different point to it.

I'd like males to comment on what lingerie says to them and how they interpret the meaning of the woman's choices. I'd like females to describe how they choose it and what their goal is. (And how they feel when a guy buys some for them).

I would MUCH rather see a woman in some nice lingerie as oppoesed just flat out naked. The fact that she took the time to buy it, put it on, indicates that she has a DESIRE to be sexual/sensual...

Coming to bed flat out naked sends a, "let's just get this done" message...

Again, my PERSONAL opinion...

Attend a nude beauty pageant. Naked women need help. Lingerie helps.

Well once i read a story on literotica about a guy trapped in an elevator with a woman, don't remember what the guy did but the woman was a fashion designer. In the course of the story she showed him some lingere designs. when she asked him what he thought his response was something that stuck in my head. Because well i thought it was a perfect description to answer your question. He said something like "lingere should be like wrapping paper." THough admittedly seeing some lingere outfits these days leaves me to wonder what went through the designer's head.

Lingerie should be pleasing to the eye. It should enhance the female form. It should also be easy to take off...some of it, not all. It shouldn't get in the way of pleasing her. Or you getting your pleasure. The color should enhance the woman's skin. Most often this is black, but there are some blues that will also. It should also fit the woman's body. Bulges are not all that sexy. Although bulges are not ugly either.

Just to make things clear...I have seen woman who absolutely don't need lingerie to be sexy. But they do look sexier with it on.

It's to make HER feel good while wearing it.

oggbashan said:

It's to make HER feel good while wearing it.

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As a woman...you guys all nailed it! You're all correct. I've always been a lingerie fanatic. There are a few men who don't like it at all...but not very many! When a man sees a woman in lingerie for the first time, I love the way his eyes light up! It's like Christmas watching him unwrap the goodies! SURPRISE!!!

If a man buys lingerie for me, it says he put a lot of thought into the gift. It isn't easy to find just the 'right' style, color, size, etc. so suit a woman physically and emotionally. I'd prefer lingerie as a gift from a man over anything because to me it not only says, "I desire you," but it also indicates that I am worth the investment of his time, thought, money, etc.

I suspect you will get varying answers from other women because some think lingerie, as a gift from a man, is degrading and sends a message of "I just want to use you sexually."

Gentlemen...please don't ever stop buying lingerie.

John Blackhawk said:

Well once i read a story on literotica about a guy trapped in an elevator with a woman, don't remember what the guy did but the woman was a fashion designer. In the course of the story she showed him some lingere designs. when she asked him what he thought his response was something that stuck in my head. Because well i thought it was a perfect description to answer your question. He said something like "lingere should be like wrapping paper." THough admittedly seeing some lingere outfits these days leaves me to wonder what went through the designer's head.

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To look at some of it these days, I suspect a large chunk of Profit & Loss account, time to make it and sell it. Then there's the geometry. . . .

holliday1960 said:

As a woman...you guys all nailed it! You're all correct. I've always been a lingerie fanatic.

If a man buys lingerie for me, it says he put a lot of thought into the gift. It isn't easy to find just the 'right' style, color, size, etc. so suit a woman physically and emotionally. I'd prefer lingerie as a gift from a man over anything because to me it not only says, "I desire you," but it also indicates that I am worth the investment of his time, thought, money, etc.

I suspect you will get varying answers from other women because some think lingerie, as a gift from a man, is degrading and sends a message of "I just want to use you sexually."

Gentlemen...please don't ever stop buying lingerie.

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I suspect there are some men for whom the idea of Lingerie is not the smile in the ladies eye, but the guarantee of him bedding her.
This may not be the perfect gift for her, though; she may prefer a new laptop. . . . .

Handley_Page said:

To look at some of it these days, I suspect a large chunk of Profit & Loss account, time to make it and sell it. Then there's the geometry. . . .





I suspect there are some men for whom the idea of Lingerie is not the smile in the ladies eye, but the guarantee of him bedding her.
This may not be the perfect gift for her, though; she may prefer a new laptop. . . . .

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Well, Handley that's the difference between hiring a secretary and hiring a sexatary. They're both efficient at what they do, but it comes down to the taste of the man doing the hiring!

Well first of all lingerie is a whole little world of fun. Whether it's intuitive or not, I don't know, but (if you're the type that's into it), lingerie just brings so many little surprises and delights. It's sexy or adorable or gorgeous in a way a typical dude would never understand. A guy is going to go play with guns or Monster Trucks or watch sports. It's an intrinsically female thing. The little bows, the colors and materials, etc. It's like delving into make-up or playing with dolls when you were little. It's (a) way to feel feminine. It's so much fun.

I'm sure someone could delve into the psychology behind it. It's a mysterious, puzzling thing. I'd even believe it's part of female "DNA" or the "hind brain." There's just nothing that can explain to someone who doesn't get it the exclusive pleasure you feel knowing you look pretty. No matter how smart or independent you are, what have you, it's a giggly, girly feeling.

A female who likes lingerie and spends time on it wants to be praised and admired. There's an element of knowing you're turning the guy on, maybe more important for some than others, but it's more a narcissistic thing I think. It's self-adornment, self-praise, self-love of being female.

I mean, if that's your "thing." Doesn't mean you have to. Some girls never played with dolls and hate make-up. But if you do, it's a unique pleasure.

*ETA. I'd probably be annoyed if a guy bought something for me that wasn't MY style, but his style. I'd want him to show he appreciated what it meant to me and noticed what I liked to make myself feel pretty. (Of course, it could always be discussed. If he desperately wished to see me in black vinyl, ok, maybe we could talk about it, but just, er, handing it to me as present under the tree would feel a little but like an insult.)

idk, that's my take on it.

Hmmmm... this may be a bit of different take on it than other women have expressed.

I agree with whoever spoke of lingerie as wrapping paper, but I would take that much farther - for me, like jewelry, it is armor. Not exactly armor in the sense of protection from my (male) partner but as an enhancement of my own "strength." It gives me control of how I present and offer my body, some control over his reaction to it, some element of surprise. In the same way that chain or plate mail both protects and gives the impression of strength, lingerie does the same for me - albeit without as much metal.

Because of that, I can't easily imagine a man giving me lingerie - I am extremely picky about how I want my body to look, how I appraise the effects of lingerie, and whether it enhances my body or not. That is such a personal thing, at least in my case, that I can't imagine my partner being successful at finding something I would like. Of course I appreciate and act appreciative of such gifts if they are presented. But there would be a great deal of politeness necessary.

So liberal Democrat male posters can pretend to be Pilette.

Gift wrapping and in some cases it feeds specific fantasies.

Lingerie is for men, not little boys as in a man can take time and appreciate and unwrap, they don't need their women naked out of the gate so they can start pawing at them.

So from a guys point of view

lingerie appreciation=man

Don't like lingerie-little teenage boys who act like they've never seen boobs before.

lovecraft68 said:

Lingerie is for men...

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Wear it proudly, LC.

I agree with Ogg. It's for women. It makes them feel more sexy and in control. Men enjoy lingerie the way they enjoy holding hands while antiquing in some fucking quaint little mountain town. The woman loves it and that's justification enough.

My grandpa told me once to smile at all women. If she's ugly, it makes her feel good. If she's pretty, it makes you feel good. Everyone wins when you make it about the woman.

rj

I like taking playmates lingerie shopping as a kind of test; not to test whether they have the balls to do so, but more of an overall test of their tastes. I let them pick out a few pieces while just browsing to get a sense of what they're into, and if I find their selections to be trashy or gaudy, I will make fun of them relentlessly for it.

I know what will like good on me based on the cut of the garment, but that idea of different cuts fitting differently on different women seems lost on some men. I absolutely will not touch anything with hearts on it, and those supposedly cute little bows mentioned earlier are pushing it. Anything white, yellow, or pink is just offence to my senses, and isn't coming anywhere near my body. I don't care how much was spent, or how much time/effort/thought was put into the purchase; if I don't like it, than I am not fucking wearing it. As a result, most men have learned not to try to buy lingerie for me without at least my input, but I do have a girlfriend(non-sexual) who will still surprise me with it on occasion for birthdays and the like, and who always succeeds in pleasing me with her choices.

I don't see lingerie as armor, though I know many women who do; I like the idea of jewelry or wrapping paper better.

I'm female. I'd say that lingerie is much like a bikini, but you can use fancier fabrics because it doesn't have to be waterproof. The general point is to be enticing, more enticing than straight-up nakedness, because lingerie can do some body shaping, add color and shine, get an attention-capturing "peek-a-boo" mechanic going on with gauze or slits, and also a bit of roleplaying element, since lingerie can make the wearer look like anything from a wealthy noble to a virginal bride to a punk rocker to a prisoner to a dungeon master. Some fabrics like leather even add their own kind of perfume.

I am of course quite miffed that men by and large don't even think of wearing male lingerie to appeal to women. At one point I did men's fashion design as a hobby, with a focus on clubwear and lingerie, but trying to get men to actually wear it was a non-starter.

I wonder if there are any men out there willing to admit that occasionally, the lady's choice looks grim on her. My ex turned up one night in the most ghastly outfit imaginable. Wrong colour, wrong shape, etc.. The only good part was the hold-up stockings.
In an attempt to play the gentleman, however, I complimented her upon it and turned off the lights.

Suiting the shape of the garment to the shape of the body is vital, IMO.

I once heard it (unsubtley) expressed as: women dress to impress women, undress to impress men.

Which sort of captures at least the wrapping paper analogy, and I'm most intrigued by Legerdemer's armour analogy. I see that.

For me, lingerie is part of the layers, veils, and revelation thing; with the final intimacy being naked acceptance by both parties - here I am, unadorned, me.

electricblue66 said:

For me, lingerie is part of the layers, veils, and revelation thing; with the final intimacy being naked acceptance by both parties - here I am, unadorned, me.

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That's how I would put it, if I'd thought of it first.

SimonDoom said:

That's how I would put it, if I'd thought of it first.

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That's the advantage of living in Australia, you guys have to wait till tomorrow for the revelations!

But hey, thanks, SD.

electricblue66 said:

I once heard it (unsubtley) expressed as: women dress to impress women, undress to impress men.

Which sort of captures at least the wrapping paper analogy, and I'm most intrigued by Legerdemer's armour analogy. I see that.

For me, lingerie is part of the layers, veils, and revelation thing; with the final intimacy being naked acceptance by both parties - here I am, unadorned, me.

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So, if men like unwrapping the package so much, why do they almost always insist on undressing themselves? Very few men will allow the women to undress them. I'm gonna cry "foul!" on that one.

holliday1960 said:

So, if men like unwrapping the package so much, why do they almost always insist on undressing themselves? Very few men will allow the women to undress them. I'm gonna cry "foul!" on that one.

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Men just want to be naked. The suit is either on (looking good, looking good...), or it's off.

We have no subtlety in between. Besides, socks and jocks is such a bad look.

Having said that, being undressed slowly is quite a pleasure, but men will rarely do it for you. You have to do it for us! Either get a mirror so you can see what you are doing, or stand back from time to time, like an artist at an easel....

electricblue66 said:

Men just want to be naked. The suit is either on (looking good, looking good...), or it's off.

We have no subtlety in between. Besides, socks and jocks is such a bad look.

Having said that, being undressed slowly is quite a pleasure, but men will rarely do it for you. You have to do it for us! Either get a mirror so you can see what you are doing, or stand back from time to time, like an artist at an easel....

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You're right...even the men who will let you assist will only go so far...shirts? ok. Belts? yeah. Pants? yes, please. When you get down to that point...it's "get outta my way and let me do it myself!" (Except for men who wear boots...those will gladly let you take their boots off for them.)

I always thought it was because I move too slow to suit them. My nails get in the way of undoing buttons.

I think you would be surprised by the number of men who will and want to undress a woman. It's kinda like opening doors for a lady...if a man doesn't come around to the car door for me, I just sit there.

Eventually, they get the message. I stop before I get to a door, and I wait until he opens it for me. The same principle applies to undressing...You want to see me naked...then undress me.

I think lingerie shows effort and care. The wrapping paper analogy is a good one. Presentation matters. An unwrapped gift sends a different message than a wrapped one. Also, I love how good lingerie makes me feel. When I feel extra sexy and desirable, I'm more into the act.

My husband seems ambivalent about lingerie. I think he likes it in theory, but "it's not going to stay on very long".

HandsInTheDark said:

What is lingerie for?
I got into this topic with my girl. I'm not going to detail the nature of the disagreement but it emerged very quickly that she and I saw a very different point to it.

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Gilding the Lilly, I think.