The Girlfriends' Delight

I've started this new story about a girl, Laura, who discovers she has feelings for her younger sister. I'd like some feedback on it, if you're interested in the story. Here's the link: http://www.literotica.com/s/the-girlfriends-delight-ch-00-prologue

Thank you, all!

I like incest stories, but not lesbian stories so take my thoughts accordingly. There are:
* Your title is misleading and probably hurting you. There are no girlfriends in this story. I was expecting a no-sex story setting up the chapters with sex in it. I'm not sure why you call this a prologue when you have the sisters seducing each other and declaring their love for each other
* The characters are way too ready to have sex with each other. They've been living together all their lives and now the main character can't think of anything but sex with her sister or her mom. It should take a little more to get the main character to think sexually about her little sister than baking a cake for her
* Openly reading erotica in front of your Mom? Maybe on a ebook reader. Again, there should be a tension between the mom and the daughter and there's none
* Walls that thin? Really? To me, a weak plot device. Also, I would think that having someone wake you up by masturbating would be annoying, not sexy
* The sitting up and kissing sounded unbelievable to me. If I sit up quickly and smack someone in the face, we're both going to be hurting. No way could a tender kiss come from that situation
* I avoid bra sizes in my stories. Cup sizes are okay, but my understanding is that bra sizes vary widely based upon the brand
* The mutual seduction was way too easy. They are alone for two minutes and they're kissing madly

Way too many worthless and unnecessary words. Do we really need to know she put on an oven mitt, opened the oven door, set the cake on top, turned the oven off, closed the door, inhaled, smelled the the cake didn't deserve the cake yet because it wasn't going to be her birthday for several months, took out her phone, dialed her phone, set it on photo, took the photo, sent the photo, commented on the photo? ZZZZZZZZZZZZ! If this is meant to establish something about your character it fails, succeeding only in boring us to death. Sorry, don't mean to put you down, but everyone knows one cannot remove a cake from the oven without a hot pad and without opening the door, closing the door, etc. Why are you telling us what we already know. Can't we see the cake, smell the cake touch the cake, maybe even sneak a taste, learn something about Laura's character, her sister? her mom, anything to get the story started. You need always start a story with a grabber. The two layer cake, pink and white, a towering work of art, the result of four hours of Laura's artistic endeavor, sat gleaming on the counter. Alas it was not to be hers, but a surprise for her younger sister, . . .