Strange penis pills

One thing that still a culture shock to me from my move is what some gas stations have behind the glass. Fake urine to try and get past drug tests, hand built vaporizers shaped like animals and lots and lots of penis pills. Ones with baffling pictures, warnings written in every language but English, and some packaged like they were the world's most fashionable erection pills.

So a story idea emerged: what if someone bought a sampler pack...and they worked? Longer endurance temporary larger penis, the ability to give explosive orgasms on command, etc. However, there are some side effects that are anything but expected.

For example, the pill that showed a woman doing a balancing act on an erect penis makes the guys penis so large that he can't leave his house/hotel room since he can't get it through the door.

The one that looks like a crappy anime-knockoff? Makes him buff and irresistible to women but he also is constantly beseiged by ninjas and martial artists while the pill is in effect.

The one which Women screaming in pleasure? All of the women he attracts are literal banshees

Backstory: An evil corporate or gov't lab develops potent biochems that twist sexuality by altering the body's hormones and pheromones. One mini-mart is chosen as the vector for beta-testing. Customers buying those products (marketed for all genders) are under stealthy surveillance. POV can be 3rd-onmiscient to follow all the fuckfests; or 3rd-limited or 1st-person following a surveillance team or evaluator or various victims.

And for the effects, yes, twist and extrapolate all the usual clichés.

* "He fucked the shit (or brains) out of her!" or "She fucked him to death." Oops. Messy.
" "He hammered (or pistoned or pile-drivered or machine-gunned) into her." Also messy.
* In a doggy-style fuck, his dick grows barbs and cannot emerge from an orifice; or she goes into primal heat, spewing pheromones that forcibly attract all males within range.
* He fucked his partner so deeply, his cock came out their mouth. Does he suck himself?
" "He's hung like a horse!" With hooves. Maybe he morphs into a centaur.
" "He fucks like a god!" We have many kinky deities to choose from.