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You know you've watched too much porn when?...

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vladimir

Really Experienced
Joined
May 29, 2002
Posts
138
Since my life is all about porn these days, and I've caught myself thinking just this, I thought there might be some others in the world who have caught themselves thinking this too themselves as well...

You know you've watched/read too much porn when you check out the fashions the guys are wearing before you check out the girl giving him head.


:D
 
You know you've watched too much porn when you've actually started keeping track of the changes in Savannahs hairstyle.
 
You know you've watched too much porn when ____ you're standing while she gives you head and you have this inexplicable urge to place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's hair, the other proudly on your hip and direct her to "OH YEAaaaH! Suck it bitch."
 
Last edited:
...you wonder why there's no symphony playing in the background right before you go in for a X ___ ( post favorite sexual position here) .
 
You've ever answered the door in your knickers and asked the mail man if he has 3 or 4 friends with him.
 
...you walk into the adult video store and the owner gives you your own set of keys...
 
You know you've watched too much porn when you're shocked to see a woman comes to bed not wearing her 4" stilettos.
 
You expect every woman you see to give you a BJ, HJ, AJ, Teabag, and Salad Tossing thrown in somewhere.
 
............you lick your lips before every sentence..........tis a lot of saliva :eek:
 
...when you run your errands and are shocked when you walk into a store and you don't see the cashier being taken hard from behind over her cash register
 
You call the plumber for a " broken sink problem" and he actually calls the police for your unwanted solicitations.
 
With each release of a mainstream movie you immediately try and come up with a similar porn title. For Example:

Saving Private Ryan = Shaving Ryan's Privates

(You know you all have done this before:D)
 
..........you re-arrange your cleavage and pout every time you open the door.
 
...you realize just how pornographic Gilligans Island, Brady Bunch and other 70's shows really were....
 
You know you've watched too much porn when you ask the woman what youre motivation for the scene is
 
You know you've watched too much porn when ...
... you think about lighting and camera angles before you start foreplay.
 
... you're shocked when you leave a changing room without fucking the salesperson.
 
When you expect the plumber to look like this:

sexy-plumber-1.jpg


but you actually get this:

x6qvsu29pxthmuhmdcyb.jpg
 
.... you watch a mainstream movie, and realize that the porn parody has better casting, acting, effects, and plot development.
 
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