Long time lurker, first time poster. I'd appreciate the advice and/or experience from this enlightened community.
I'm a decent looking, highly confident, successful thirty something male who suffers from delayed ejaculation. And it sucks.
Since I graduated from college, where I had tons of fun and no issues below the belt, I've had four long term (more than just a several month fling, all more than a year) girlfriends and several flings. Sometimes I cum, sometimes I don't. Let me explain.
With random flings, it's completely hit or miss. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't, there seems to be no rhyme or reason.
With women I genuinely care for and with whom I want to develop something, it seems to take awhile before I reach the point of no return. For the first few sexual encounters, I'm unable to finish, which leads me to my first question: knowing that this is going to happen, is this something I discuss with a partner in advance?
Sometimes, the woman is receptive because I'm still hard so, as I put it, she's free to hop on and go for a ride as long as she wants. I still get plenty of enjoyment out of it so I'm not complaining, either. Sometimes it takes months before I can cum and women take this personally, like they're not doing their job or they're not good enough. I assure them that's not the case and yet they see my inability to finish as a sign that they're not good enough, which brings me to question two: if there is even a way, how do I reassure women that it's totally and completely me and in my head and has nothing to do with their performance?
The relationship I'm presently involved in, about three months now, is coming to an end because of this issue, in part, but also because of other factors, such as her constantly needing the approval and contact from other men (attention whore). But, this woman is, externally, extremely gorgeous; a solid 7 at 6 on a Tuesday morning and an absolute bombshell when dressed to the nines. But, she's extremely sexual and, while she loves that I can give her multiple orgasms, she likes making a guy cum. I can't give her that, at least not while she's putting so much pressure on me to make it happen. And, yes, we've discussed it ad nauseum.
Final question: I feel terrible that this is the cause of one breakup, and potentially more, who knows. Is that something I should concern myself with or be more of the mindset that if she really cared about me, she'd be willing to work through this with me?
I sincerely appreciate the thoughts and experiences of this astute community.
I'm a decent looking, highly confident, successful thirty something male who suffers from delayed ejaculation. And it sucks.
Since I graduated from college, where I had tons of fun and no issues below the belt, I've had four long term (more than just a several month fling, all more than a year) girlfriends and several flings. Sometimes I cum, sometimes I don't. Let me explain.
With random flings, it's completely hit or miss. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't, there seems to be no rhyme or reason.
With women I genuinely care for and with whom I want to develop something, it seems to take awhile before I reach the point of no return. For the first few sexual encounters, I'm unable to finish, which leads me to my first question: knowing that this is going to happen, is this something I discuss with a partner in advance?
Sometimes, the woman is receptive because I'm still hard so, as I put it, she's free to hop on and go for a ride as long as she wants. I still get plenty of enjoyment out of it so I'm not complaining, either. Sometimes it takes months before I can cum and women take this personally, like they're not doing their job or they're not good enough. I assure them that's not the case and yet they see my inability to finish as a sign that they're not good enough, which brings me to question two: if there is even a way, how do I reassure women that it's totally and completely me and in my head and has nothing to do with their performance?
The relationship I'm presently involved in, about three months now, is coming to an end because of this issue, in part, but also because of other factors, such as her constantly needing the approval and contact from other men (attention whore). But, this woman is, externally, extremely gorgeous; a solid 7 at 6 on a Tuesday morning and an absolute bombshell when dressed to the nines. But, she's extremely sexual and, while she loves that I can give her multiple orgasms, she likes making a guy cum. I can't give her that, at least not while she's putting so much pressure on me to make it happen. And, yes, we've discussed it ad nauseum.
Final question: I feel terrible that this is the cause of one breakup, and potentially more, who knows. Is that something I should concern myself with or be more of the mindset that if she really cared about me, she'd be willing to work through this with me?
I sincerely appreciate the thoughts and experiences of this astute community.