How old do you want to be?

PuckIt said:

Under one of my old iterations, I said; "Old enough to know better, but young enough to say 'Fuck it' and do it anyway."

Sadly, I've progressed to the point I'm still young enough to think about it but old enough that thinking "Fuck it" is about as close as I get.

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I don't know what that means. Young enough to think about what?

JaneRamsey said:

I think some people feel invisible because while they age, they're still looking from attention from the same younger crowd they still mentally feel a part of.

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Most definitely! Although I'm not sure if "younger" really matters. I can understand how no longer receiving flirtatious glances from the opposite sex would be difficult to accept. But as people age do they still feel part of the younger crowd? At 40, I can't say that holds true with me.

EmpressJosephine said:

I'm 55 years old, have no regrets, and am exactly the person I want to be.

I think my best years are still ahead!

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I hope I will be as happy and optimistic as you. Forgive me for my vanity, but in all honesty, the thought of losing my looks, and seeing evidence of the process beginning, is troubling, to say the least.

littlecordelera said:

I hope I will be as happy and optimistic as you. Forgive me for my vanity, but in all honesty, the thought of losing my looks, and seeing evidence of the process beginning, is troubling, to say the least.

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Are you suggesting I'm losing my looks?

littlecordelera said:

I hope I will be as happy and optimistic as you. Forgive me for my vanity, but in all honesty, the thought of losing my looks, and seeing evidence of the process beginning, is troubling, to say the least.

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EmpressJosephine said:

Are you suggesting I'm losing my looks?

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Oh, dayum.

**runs out for popcorn and hurries back**




**Thinks for a second, then runs back out to order a dump truck of coleslaw**

EmpressJosephine said:

Are you suggesting I'm losing my looks?

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LOL!

Oops! Umm...err...

Not at all. The woman of the couple I referenced earlier in this thread is 57, and she is stunning to me.

I Will Settle...

...for another ten years. I am 81 and another ten seems ideal. I think I have enough teeth left to make it.....

Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old. Jonathon Swift

TarnishedPenny said:

Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old. Jonathon Swift

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Not according to Brian and Freddie.

TarnishedPenny said:

Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old. Jonathon Swift

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Should we want to grow old? I feel like society believes there is some sort of moral value in embracing aging, and a lack of character in wanting to remain young.

littlecordelera said:

Should we want to grow old? I feel like society believes there is some sort of moral value in embracing aging, and a lack of character in wanting to remain young.

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Damfino, but it's a good question.

A long time ago, it used to be that as people aged, they accumulated wisdom which compensated for their lack of strength, fertility, etc. An old woman who had helped in dozens of childbirths had knowledge. An 80 year old farmer who had seen 75 harvests could give good advice on when to plant and such. Pre-universal literacy, the elderly were respected for that kind of knowledge.

Now the old are increasingly seen as obsolete. Often, their knowledge is less and less relevant (us a dial phone vs smart phone analogy), which makes the current knowledge base of the young relatively more valuable. So it's not just youthful appearance, it's a paradigm shift in how the elderly fit into our society. It's something we are all going to have to struggle with.

Honestly, I think it's not so much growing old that is the problem so much as feeling irrelevant.

Looks and attraction are just one facet. As TarnishedPenny said so much more able than I ever could, the loss of being the font of knowledge for those coming behind is also problematic.

Early on in the thread, someone mentioned being invisible. And there is rather more truth to that than anyone addressed that I saw.

It's just my opinion, and probably worth considerably less than the two cents I claim, but I think where we run into problems is where we feel invisible... or worse, like an obstacle to be worked around, a drain on everyone's energies and attention.

I don't know, but I think whether the question is physical attractiveness, sexual desire, our wisdom, or just whatever, but I think the underlying factor is our need, our desire, to still feel relevant. To someone.

And I don't really know that age is necessarily the deciding factor for the relevance we feel. As some have said, they still feel relevant at 80 while others are already struggling with their relevance at 40(ish).

And since I'm not at all sure that what I'm saying is at all relevant to this particular thread, I'm gonna wander off in search of something else to Puck around in.

PuckIt said:

Honestly, I think it's not so much growing old that is the problem so much as feeling irrelevant.

Looks and attraction are just one facet. As TarnishedPenny said so much more able than I ever could, the loss of being the font of knowledge for those coming behind is also problematic.

Early on in the thread, someone mentioned being invisible. And there is rather more truth to that than anyone addressed that I saw.

It's just my opinion, and probably worth considerably less than the two cents I claim, but I think where we run into problems is where we feel invisible... or worse, like an obstacle to be worked around, a drain on everyone's energies and attention.

I don't know, but I think whether the question is physical attractiveness, sexual desire, our wisdom, or just whatever, but I think the underlying factor is our need, our desire, to still feel relevant. To someone.

And I don't really know that age is necessarily the deciding factor for the relevance we feel. As some have said, they still feel relevant at 80 while others are already struggling with their relevance at 40(ish).

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Yeah. Well said.

I know I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this haha but at 28, I certainly see time flying by. It feels like not long ago I was coming into my 20's and had my entire life ahead of me. Now I'm at the age my dad was when he had me... and he was already married with a house and a 5-year old by then.

It's an odd feeling. I used to be very good friends with a guy 7 years older than I was (he was 32 when I was 25) and he had started noticing the tire around his waist... just that extra skin. He had started to notice the early stages of wrinkles and crows feet in his face. Mind you he was vegan, and really active.

I'm not there yet. But I know it'll be a really weird feeling to start seeing wrinkles on my face. If I could, I'd stay 25 forever

Mac98 said:

I know I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this haha but at 28, I certainly see time flying by. It feels like not long ago I was coming into my 20's and had my entire life ahead of me. Now I'm at the age my dad was when he had me... and he was already married with a house and a 5-year old by then.

It's an odd feeling. I used to be very good friends with a guy 7 years older than I was (he was 32 when I was 25) and he had started noticing the tire around his waist... just that extra skin. He had started to notice the early stages of wrinkles and crows feet in his face. Mind you he was vegan, and really active.

I'm not there yet. But I know it'll be a really weird feeling to start seeing wrinkles on my face. If I could, I'd stay 25 forever

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Nope. No flak. Just this;




All kidding aside, I do actually remember the days when I thought thirty was old. Dimly, but I do remember them.


However, like I said early on, maybe it's because I never had the looks to worry about too much, but that wasn't really ever on my worry list. What was on my worry list was not being able to do as much as I used to.

And it really got to me right at first when what turned out to be Parkinson's robbed me of my middle age. But, I've had time to get used to it. And it's not so bad, really. Most days.

But, I think it pretty much comes down to what you classify as relevance and how you perceive yourself of still measuring up.

PuckIt said:

Nope. No flak. Just this;

All kidding aside, I do actually remember the days when I thought thirty was old. Dimly, but I do remember them.


However, like I said early on, maybe it's because I never had the looks to worry about too much, but that wasn't really ever on my worry list. What was on my worry list was not being able to do as much as I used to.

And it really got to me right at first when what turned out to be Parkinson's robbed me of my middle age. But, I've had time to get used to it. And it's not so bad, really. Most days.

But, I think it pretty much comes down to what you classify as relevance and how you perceive yourself of still measuring up.

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This actually made my night hahahahahahahaha
Thank you!!

Parkinson's not so bad... huh. I thought it was rather debilitating. I'm assuming medical advances have helped since the days of Michael J. Fox, or Cassius Clay?

Mac98 said:

This actually made my night hahahahahahahaha
Thank you!!

Parkinson's not so bad... huh. I thought it was rather debilitating. I'm assuming medical advances have helped since the days of Michael J. Fox, or Cassius Clay?

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I'm glad you liked it.

As far as my PD...


Well, no, not really. It just... well, I pretty much made the conscious decision (discussed ad nauseum elsewhere) that I was tired of wasting a thousand dollars a month on a bunch of pills that weren't ever going to get me on my feet again. And then I made the conscious decision that since there wasn't much I could do about, there wasn't much point in crying about it. (shrug) And there are people that have it worse than me.


When I was a little tyke, my parents left me with an elderly couple while they worked. He'd had his leg blown off and got around on a pair of crutches. He was a carpenter and I watched him climb a ladder with a bucket of shingles in one hand many, many times.


Later, when I started to school, they were just starting to mainstream kids that didn't have a noticeable mental disability despite their physical disabilities. One, a guy named Patrick Lewis that was actually in the movie "Acorn People" was born without any arms or legs. Just nubs that ended about the elbow and one vestigial foot coming out of his... uh... left hip? I think? Another guy was an albino and legally blind. Needless to say, our teachers didn't accept just a whole lot of excuses from the rest of us.


Later on in high school, both of those guys were in the marching band, Patrick rolling around in his motorized wheelchair, and the concert band. Patrick played a modified trumpet with the valves widened so he could work them with his nubs. And Jerry played the flute. And both were in the All-State band. Jerry had to do the "sight reading" portion with his nose pressed to the music stand, but he did it.(shrug)

We lost Mom back in 2010 to Lymphatic Cancer. Which surprised the hell out of everyone except my sister and myself because she never once slowed down. Just ... er... three months before she was hospitalized the last time, I think, she was painting her house. And arguing with the tax assessors because they thought she had bricked it.


My wife, the woman I refer to as Love elsewhere here, had her knee blown out by a shotgun blast when she was just seventeen. They "rebuilt" it (for some definitions of the word) instead of amputating. But, she didn't let it slow her down much and raised two great kids and worked at jobs and volunteer work even before she fell into the sphere of my dark influence when she went back to school to get her degree and pick up a career. They don't know just what it was that ended her life last October. But, she never once complained and never failed to do just as much as she possibly could.


*shrug*

I don't know. I guess what I'm saying is that, yeah. I pretty much don't do much anymore except roll out of bed and tend to the dog and cats and get on here until I'm too tired and roll back into bed for the most part. And yes, I miss the hell out of being active, out of being able to practice my martial arts, or run a five-minute mile, or do a hundred pushups in under ten minutes. I miss working and feeling like I'm contributing to society. It bugs the crap out of me to go to the store and hear the people behind me bitching about how I'm in their way because I move slow, and with the aid of a walking stick.


But, it is what it is and is the only game in town. You either adapt or curl up and die. And with the role models that I've had over the years, I just don't see much point in bitching about it when I did it to myself with too many closed head injuries in my checkered past (as best they can figure).

And, oops. I've derailed another thread.

Sorry. I'll shut the hell up now and let you guys get back to discussing wrinkles and stuff.

littlecordelera said:

Does that still hold true when you're almost 60? The guy said he had become invisible (to the opposite sex).

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Yes. Since who i am hasnt changed...then it can only be how people look at one as they get older.

PuckIt - kudos, empathy and best wishes. As the old sage once noted, one cannot determine the quality of a man when times are easy.

Seems like yesterday
But it was long ago
Janie was lovely, she was the queen of my nights
There in the darkness with the radio playin' low

And the secrets that we shared
The mountains that we moved
Caught like a wildfire out of control
Til there was nothing left to burn and nothing left to prove

I'm happy at the age I am now but if I could be young again, I'd love to be 16. The days when I'd skip class with my bestie, smoke cigarettes in the toilets, do graffiti, go to the city or the beach during summer. Sneak out at night to go to the pub and watch some gigs, egg various homes and runaway, at times we'd even target the homes of people from school we didn't like lol. We were real brats back then but it was an adventure for us and I miss the excitement we had being bad. A lot has changed since then, we grew up, had worked various jobs and raised families of our own. We were no longer like Goldie Hawn and Susan Sarandon from the Banger Sisters.

littlecordelera said:

I like who I am. I just don't like thinking about a wrinkled version of who I am. But I know it is inevitable.

And I hope my best years are ahead of me. I don't like that I am entering my 40's, but I get a lot of encouragement from these forums. I see so many posts that express admiration for "older" (God! Am I actually using that term to talk about myself?) women.

Wait. Am I "older"?

No. I'm pretty sure "older" doesn't start until 45.

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I am 45 and I do not feel "older" so far. Yes, I am way older than I was at 21, a virgin and newly engaged, but I am not old. I would like to be 21 or 22 again, but I have not figured out how to turn that clock back. In the meantime, men still find me attractive, I have a successful career, 3 kids I am very proud of and am well on my way to preparing for retirement. So, life is good at 45.

I've decided I want to be like 18 months old. At that age, someone feeds me, bathes me, puts me to bed, and if I need to go to the bathroom, I can just let'er rip. Someone else will deal with the results.

No worries, no stress, and my skin would be velvet smooth!

I would love to go back and do it over again, at least if I could know what I know today...

I was a shy kid, shy teen, shy adult. I could have had so many relationships and adventures both in and out of the bedroom... and I didn't because I couldn't overcome my shyness.

Around 45, midlife crisis in full swing, I was able to rationalize it away, I now have tons of friends, a great job, and networking out the wazoo, all because I came out of my shell.

All those years before, I was an introvert, an outcast, and generally unable to communicate with men or women.

I also came out as bi (well, came out to myself and tried it!), something I wished I did in my early 20's or even teens, and experienced it when my testosterone was at peak and all my parts ran like new.

Everything still works, just takes more grease to get the gears moving these days