Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationships

Has anyone ever experienced a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship?

This ought to be an interesting thread!

I think that you should cum to daddy.

Smoothshavendad said:

I think that you should cum to daddy.

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Miles Long said:

This ought to be an interesting thread!

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Yes, because it's off to such a rousing start

Just desire to far. Although on the radio several years ago, I heard over half the single female teachers in Detroit were signed up on a website looking for a Daddy. I question the research methods, but still, it was fun to consider moving.

It's not anything I've ever done or been interested in, but I have a few good friends who have been sugar babies. They had some good experiences, but overall I think they found it to be frustrating and a lot of work, and ultimately not worth it.

I actually had a student write a research paper on women who were on SeekingArrangement - it was amazingly eye opening for me. Apparently there are a huge number of college coeds on such sites. A lot of the arrangements are not even about sex.

I decided to try it once, thinking as a married man it would be an ideal kind of relationship to have. The few women I ended up connecting with all tried to suck my bank account dry! I'm too cheap!

tiny_tits said:

Has anyone ever experienced a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship?

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Yes...

tiny_tits said:

Has anyone ever experienced a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship?

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I currently have two lovely ladies who stay with me occasionally, one is 22 years, the other is 24. I am 68 and really love the feel of a smooth young body - they both seem to enjoy their visits so must be doing something right.

djheli said:

I currently have two lovely ladies who stay with me occasionally, one is 22 years, the other is 24. I am 68 and really love the feel of a smooth young body - they both seem to enjoy their visits so must be doing something right.

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Probably paying them! (sorry, couldn't resist!)

There is a fine line between escorts and sugar babes which isn't always so clear...

djheli said:

I currently have two lovely ladies who stay with me occasionally, one is 22 years, the other is 24. I am 68 and really love the feel of a smooth young body - they both seem to enjoy their visits so must be doing something right.

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What does it cost?

Interesting

If you're a sugar baby does that mean relinquishing control of the relationship? Like are you supposed to do whatever you're asked because your bills are being taken care of?

Must be nice though. Having someone cater to your financial needs. Almost makes you want to send an invoice to everyone you ever fucked for free. Hehehehhe.

phoenixosho said:

If you're a sugar baby does that mean relinquishing control of the relationship? Like are you supposed to do whatever you're asked because your bills are being taken care of?

Must be nice though. Having someone cater to your financial needs. Almost makes you want to send an invoice to everyone you ever fucked for free. Hehehehhe.

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This is where that saying "the devil is in the details" comes into play. The specifics of any given sugar exchange are going to be down to what the SD and SB agree on. Where my friends who were sugar babies often ran into trouble was in nailing down what those specifics would be and then both parties living up to them. For whatever reason, they found clear communication and expectations to be difficult to maintain, and that made it hard for those relationships to be successful.

As I understand it, one of the differences between a true sugar baby and an escort is who remains in control of the relationship. An escort is in a more vulnerable position of surrendering to the demands and interests of their client, where as a sugar baby actually has much more say in defining the boundaries of her relationship with her sugar daddy. Many such relationships don't even include sex, some are even long distance where the guy just sends money and gifts. Many, obviously, are sexual, but, in theory, sb/sd relationships are about fulfilling the interests and desires of the sb, not the sd...

I have thought about it myself. What is the difference in having a mistress as they do in Europe?

My wife is handicapped and we have sex maybe once a month. My sex drive isn't what it used to be as I am over 60, but it sure would be nice! I just haven't pursued it very much.

Here's a picture of a bachelorette party I took out a couple weeks ago.

Being Daddy

tiny_tits said:

Has anyone ever experienced a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship?

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I am a Dominant Male that lives for age-plav.

I have had relationships with women that were 40 years younger than myself, relationships with women that were 12 years older than myself and many variations between the two extremes.

I always play the Daddy, regardless of the woman's age. There is no money involved.

Those relationships meet the emotional needs of the women to have a Daddy.

There's a lot of confusion here about the difference between a Daddy Dom/little girl relationship and a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship.

Neither inherently requires an age difference, but both frequently do. But the "sugar" in Sugar Daddy is about gifts, money, or taking care of the girl financially in some way. And as someone else mentioned, the Sugar Baby generally makes most of the rules.

The reason I asked; I have a friend of a friend (that sounds like bullshit, I know- but I swear it's true) that is a Sugar Baby. I don't have any solid info, but from what I've been told, he is 58 years old, "looks like Bill Gates", married, with no home sex life. Wealthy.

Her I know. She is 23, can't hold a job because she is pretty irresponsible, but very pretty.

She has an apartment that is nice (guessing 1200/mo) and has a new Camaro, all paid for by him. What their arrangement is beyond that is anybody's guess.

I'm not one to worry too much about the moral issues of this- if it's mutually beneficial, good for them! But I would worry that it could end in a split second- he would be fine, but she would be in real trouble.

Anyway, just wondering what you guys thought about it.

PS- Have I thought about it? Obviously.
Would I do it? Probably not.
But is it really that different from some of the relationships I've been in? Hmmm...

I wouldn't do it due to the uncertainty of it and the fact if it just ends one day you are stuck with no income at all. The only money you have is what you saved from an allowance if the sugar daddy/momma gives you one.

tiny_tits said:

The reason I asked; I have a friend of a friend (that sounds like bullshit, I know- but I swear it's true) that is a Sugar Baby. I don't have any solid info, but from what I've been told, he is 58 years old, "looks like Bill Gates", married, with no home sex life. Wealthy.

Her I know. She is 23, can't hold a job because she is pretty irresponsible, but very pretty.

She has an apartment that is nice (guessing 1200/mo) and has a new Camaro, all paid for by him. What their arrangement is beyond that is anybody's guess.

I'm not one to worry too much about the moral issues of this- if it's mutually beneficial, good for them! But I would worry that it could end in a split second- he would be fine, but she would be in real trouble.

Anyway, just wondering what you guys thought about it.

PS- Have I thought about it? Obviously.
Would I do it? Probably not.
But is it really that different from some of the relationships I've been in? Hmmm...

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Ah!

I'd seen the thread but didn't really have anything to say since I've never been in one (that I'm willing to own up to). This, however, is slightly different than how I was interpreting the original question asked.


The thing is, I wouldn't get too hung up on the variations that make it a Sugar Daddy/sugar baby relationship more than another kind. I refuse to be baited into a discussion about the morality issues since I'm a firm believer that everyone has the right to pave their own road to Hell however they choose. And the brick labelled "judgement" is not one I choose to lay in mine.


I can see what you are saying, the potential for him to withdraw the financial support and her to be left wondering how the fuck she was going to pay this month's rent. But, let's flip the coin.



I'm pretty sure that he is getting something out of the relationship as well. Just what that is, I wouldn't want to hazard a guess. So, what if she were to withdraw whatever support it is that she is lending him? Would he still be fine? Sure, he could still pay his rent next month. But, what about the emotional debt that just came due?


*shrug*


Maybe he's not one for emotional entanglements and this relationship is little more than a way for both of them to feel comfortable with what is in effect thinly veiled prostitution. Only instead of giving her money directly, he gives her gifts. (Personal opinion is that there is typically more emotional investment, but not here to play armchair psycho-babble.)


But, even then, she does have the potential to take away something that he found enough value in that he was willing to part with enough money to cover the rent you mentioned and the Camero. Do you really think it's all that easy to find someone willing to part with whatever it is for whatever he's giving her?


If you do, hang on a second while I go get my billfold...


Any road, my (as usual) long-winded point is this. ANY relationship, no matter what kind, has a potential of risk and reward. And either party engaging in a relationship has the potential to be hurt if and when that relationship ends. That's sort of inherent in the definition of the word "relationship."

ANY relationship is a form of barter. Things we want from the relationship, things we are willing to put up with, and things that we abso-fucking-lutely won't stand for.

ANY relationship has a beginning, middle, and end. And a potential for all kinds of happiness and hurt on the way through.


So, yeah. You pretty much answered your own question there at the end. "This is different from any of my relationships just how again exactly?"

Any road, I'm probably not shedding any light on anything except my own posterior, so I'll shut the fuck up and mosy on.

*ETA: And yes, I am very well aware of Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs, thank you. And, yes, I do see that he is providing the bottom two rungs while he is counting on her for something higher up. No, I didn't really find it that relevant to the question at hand.

The benefits of a SD/SB relationship are there are no commitments.
The downside of a SD/SB relationship are there are no commitments.

IMO... it's close to Escorting, but a tad nicer. You know what you are getting (after the initial meet-n-greet) with an agreed upon arrangement. I've seen arrangements from pay-per-meet to auto deposits into checking accounts. The latter can avoid the escort-type "cash on the table", and feel like it isn't about the money, but of course it still is.

PuckIt said:

Ah!

I'd seen the thread but didn't really have anything to say since I've never been in one (that I'm willing to own up to). This, however, is slightly different than how I was interpreting the original question asked.

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LoL that was intentional.

PuckIt said:

The thing is, I wouldn't get too hung up on the variations that make it a Sugar Daddy/sugar baby relationship more than another kind. I refuse to be baited into a discussion about the morality issues since I'm a firm believer that everyone has the right to pave their own road to Hell however they choose. And the brick labelled "judgement" is not one I choose to lay in mine.


I can see what you are saying, the potential for him to withdraw the financial support and her to be left wondering how the fuck she was going to pay this month's rent. But, let's flip the coin.



I'm pretty sure that he is getting something out of the relationship as well. Just what that is, I wouldn't want to hazard a guess. So, what if she were to withdraw whatever support it is that she is lending him? Would he still be fine? Sure, he could still pay his rent next month. But, what about the emotional debt that just came due?

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You are absolutely right.
I've run into the same thing in a "live together" relationship- when one can simply walk away ("Hey, we're not married") one usually does. Again, not always, but it has been always in my personal experience. So that's what made me say this topic isn't that much different from what I've experienced in the past.

PuckIt said:

*shrug*


Maybe he's not one for emotional entanglements and this relationship is little more than a way for both of them to feel comfortable with what is in effect thinly veiled prostitution. Only instead of giving her money directly, he gives her gifts. (Personal opinion is that there is typically more emotional investment, but not here to play armchair psycho-babble.)


But, even then, she does have the potential to take away something that he found enough value in that he was willing to part with enough money to cover the rent you mentioned and the Camero. Do you really think it's all that easy to find someone willing to part with whatever it is for whatever he's giving her?


If you do, hang on a second while I go get my billfold...


Any road, my (as usual) long-winded point is this. ANY relationship, no matter what kind, has a potential of risk and reward. And either party engaging in a relationship has the potential to be hurt if and when that relationship ends. That's sort of inherent in the definition of the word "relationship."

ANY relationship is a form of barter. Things we want from the relationship, things we are willing to put up with, and things that we abso-fucking-lutely won't stand for.

ANY relationship has a beginning, middle, and end. And a potential for all kinds of happiness and hurt on the way through.


So, yeah. You pretty much answered your own question there at the end. "This is different from any of my relationships just how again exactly?"

Any road, I'm probably not shedding any light on anything except my own posterior, so I'll shut the fuck up and mosy on.

*ETA: And yes, I am very well aware of Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs, thank you. And, yes, I do see that he is providing the bottom two rungs while he is counting on her for something higher up. No, I didn't really find it that relevant to the question at hand.

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Thanks for your insight- it's very close to my own.

tiny_tits said:

Has anyone ever experienced a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship?

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Probably.

tiny_tits said:

She has an apartment that is nice (guessing 1200/mo) and has a new Camaro, all paid for by him. What their arrangement is beyond that is anybody's guess.

I'm not one to worry too much about the moral issues of this- if it's mutually beneficial, good for them! But I would worry that it could end in a split second- he would be fine, but she would be in real trouble.

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I'm partway through writing a story about a F/F sugar relationship at the moment. (Haven't posted an update in months, but it's not dead, I swear!) I did a little bit of research on these arrangements as part of the background.

The financial uncertainty is certainly one of the big issues mentioned that sugar babies need to plan around. As well as the fact that the patron can call things off at any time, some other financial considerations:

- People who are rich enough to get into this sort of arrangement often have other calls on their time. If your patron needs to go overseas for business for a couple of months, do you still get paid?
- It can be hard to rent a flat/buy a car/etc. without proof of regular income, and you're not likely to get that in a sugar relationship. Indeed, it would be foolish to keep written records of that sort of arrangement in jurisdictions where it's illegal. Health insurance may also be an issue in the US system.
- There's a difference between having Rich Dude lend you the use a flat/car/etc. that he owns, and him giving you the money to rent/buy one for yourself. The former leaves less of a paper trail, but it also gives him more power over you, since he can kick you out without notice; with the latter, even if he stops paying and you can't afford the rent, at least you have some time to move out and find something new.
- A sugar daddy may have expectations about physical appearance etc. which may require a budget for gym and/or clothing.

General advice is to save a large percentage of the money coming in, and there's a lot of stuff for self-employed people generally which applies to these relationships.

In my story, the two characters in the relationship are friends first, so the relationship they negotiate might look a bit different to the standard sugar relationship, if there is such a thing.

jc199123 said:

I wouldn't do it due to the uncertainty of it and the fact if it just ends one day you are stuck with no income at all. The only money you have is what you saved from an allowance if the sugar daddy/momma gives you one.

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Although this applies to many other jobs too, these days.

Good friend of mine is all about being a sugar daddy. It works for him. I wouldn’t be able to do it because I don’t desire a dating relationship that doesn’t include commitment.