Couple swapping

Have you ever done it? How did it go? Any advice for those who havent done this? Posted ads on lit and havent found anyone, how do you find a couple to swap with?

mum and dad do it,they joined a club to start with,and they both enjoy it.it has to be an agreed thing ,as if either partner has any doubt,best not to persue it.......i did it when i was married,both my ex and me found it very hot...but my appetite to play did in the end screw my marriage.

sandie350 said:

mum and dad do it,they joined a club to start with,and they both enjoy it.it has to be an agreed thing ,as if either partner has any doubt,best not to persue it.......i did it when i was married,both my ex and me found it very hot...but my appetite to play did in the end screw my marriage.

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Just curious, did the appetite for it make you do things with out spouse, how did it screw the marriage up?

yes it did.......i dated a few guys i met at the swingers club.......hubby had no idea

It caused issues in a relationship I was in. It created a huge appetite for "strange" for me. Which ultimately led to jealousy. She was more interested in having sex with other women, than other men, so looking for couples where the man would sit out , and the women be bisexual became increasingly difficult, and I wanted more and more of the new women. Which led her to think that I did not want her.

Ironically after that relationship ended, I went on a quest to just fuck married women, and found many that were bi, and several where the men agreed to just sit out or be the cuckold. Which would have worked out in my previous relationship.

Pretty_kitty169 said:

Have you ever done it? How did it go? Any advice for those who havent done this? Posted ads on lit and havent found anyone, how do you find a couple to swap with?

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We couple switched with my mom and dad, (we being my brother and I), I swapped my brother for my Dad for a weekend and my brother swapped me for mom for the weekend.


It was.... Exhaustively awesome.

Sharing

Never couple swapped but shared my wife hundreds of times.

tjernst said:

Never couple swapped but shared my wife hundreds of times.

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I was shared 3 months ago, it was very hot. I am suprised to read about how much trouble some people have had. Most everything I have read shows peiple that do this have a very strong connection and love it. Guess we dont know the history of them.

Pretty_kitty169 said:

I was shared 3 months ago, it was very hot. I am suprised to read about how much trouble some people have had. Most everything I have read shows peiple that do this have a very strong connection and love it. Guess we dont know the history of them.

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If there are jealousy issues, it is nit going to work at all. If there are any underlying issues in the relationship, it will not work. Any self esteem issues will be brought to the surface, and many things will bring that ugly truth to the surface, whether it be they had better bodies than you and your partner, the guys dick was bigger, the womans boobs were nicer, he made her cum by doing a certain thing, she made him cum by doing something a certain way. Yes this may sound like trivial bullshit to some, but when the reality of it all goes down, things like this do come up.
You both have to be happy, and not fake happy. I mean totally happy and would never think about being in a relationship or marriage with any body else. You also have to realize it is just sex. A lot of people cannot seperate the emotions and sex.

In a post a few months back, I stated it is like masturbating with a walking talking sex toy. You are "sport fucking" , not fucking to fall in love or to have some emotional attachment with the other people.

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to share things to think about.

we actually advertised in a contact mag for interested couples to meet up for fun......we got 4 replies i think.........

We went to a swingers parties. Usually advertised on swinger sires

KinkyGAGuy said:

If there are jealousy issues, it is nit going to work at all. If there are any underlying issues in the relationship, it will not work. Any self esteem issues will be brought to the surface, and many things will bring that ugly truth to the surface, whether it be they had better bodies than you and your partner, the guys dick was bigger, the womans boobs were nicer, he made her cum by doing a certain thing, she made him cum by doing something a certain way. Yes this may sound like trivial bullshit to some, but when the reality of it all goes down, things like this do come up.
You both have to be happy, and not fake happy. I mean totally happy and would never think about being in a relationship or marriage with any body else. You also have to realize it is just sex. A lot of people cannot seperate the emotions and sex.

In a post a few months back, I stated it is like masturbating with a walking talking sex toy. You are "sport fucking" , not fucking to fall in love or to have some emotional attachment with the other people.

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to share things to think about.

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We had a few miscommunications that we got thru that and learned valuable lessons. We are closer then ever since it happened. But i can see how a not very strong couple wiuld have trouble

We've come very close to swapping on about 10 occasions. On each of those I've managed to screw it up by insisting the other male agree to "no take backs." /sarc

Pretty_kitty169 said:

Have you ever done it? How did it go? Any advice for those who havent done this? Posted ads on lit and havent found anyone, how do you find a couple to swap with?

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Don't bother with Lit...it's full of dreamers and fantasists. Mind you, swingers sites can be the same. We belong to a swingers site and go to clubs and parties.

Your relationship has to be solid with no jealousy or insecurity issues underlying and you have to be the kind of people who openly talk about things without blaming or recriminations. Talk, talk and talk some more, establish your boundaries...full or soft swap? Will you kiss others? Insist on safer sex? Same room or separate? Bi or straight...

Establish your boundaries and do not move outside of them in a play situation, talk before and afterwards about want worked for you and what you didn't like either of you doing...we had a situation where I saw my partner entwine fingers with the female during sex...for something so innocuous, it felt too intimate for me and so when we had our "debrief" afterwards, I explained how it made me feel and he agreed not to do it again...

It can only work if both of you are 100% into it...we've met couple who it was clear were not and it just doesn't work...one woman begged me to fuck her husband, then when I did, ran into the bathroom crying...other couples dynamic can severely affect your enjoyment of the situation. And we never get involved in messages or chats outside of the swinging situation that the other doesn't know about...everything has to be transparent and open between you...

Always be aware, that no matter how much you've talked and no matter how much you agree, be prepared that actually watching your SO fucking someone else may not feel like you've fantasised it will...

KinkyGAGuy said:

A lot of people cannot seperate the emotions and sex.

In a post a few months back, I stated it is like masturbating with a walking talking sex toy. You are "sport fucking" , not fucking to fall in love or to have some emotional attachment with the other people.

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to share things to think about.

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Absolutely this...

KinkyGAGuy said:

In a post a few months back, I stated it is like masturbating with a walking talking sex toy. You are "sport fucking" , not fucking to fall in love or to have some emotional attachment with the other people.

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Exactly. If you are going to "swing" as a couple, you need the ability to look at the others you bring into your sex lives as flesh and blood marital aids. If you can do this successfully you'll be OK.

We've been doing it with our neighbors ever since they moved in over twelve years ago. Now that our son is married to their daughter we include them too.

Lots of fun

Never thought we would be that couple but we are! It started as a bi relationship for me, but grew to include our husbands. Our foursome spends lots of time together, switching and swapping all different ways. We are all open to other opportunities, but have yet to need them bc it's been so special between us. I can safely say it's the best decision we ever made, and our marriage is stringer than ever.

I think it is also key that you be in control of yourself at all times. As others have noted you need to set out the limits before hand and it is incumbent upon you to operate within those limits no matter what - "I just got carried away" is an unacceptable response.

I personally think that this is one of the areas where women in particular need to be vigilant to mitigate jealousy. More so than men we sometimes subscribe to the whole "hard to get" thing so especially when we are young and single and do let a man into our pants we don't own it ourselves. We don't want to seem like sluts so we tell ourselves that he swept us off of our feet or one thing led to another or whatever. But now consider the fact our men KNOW that lots of other men have no qualms about fucking married women or someone else's girlfriend. So if other men can't be trusted and we aren't in control what is to keep us from cheating or in this context going beyond the pre-set limits? Nothing.

If the limits are violated, unless there was physical force it's on you with no excuses. Otherwise you aren't mature enough for this scene.

And if a guy tries to push your limits never tell your husband/boyfriend otherwise. Just like guys chatting up girls in a bar, every guy in sight knows he is hitting on you. Any assurances you make to the contrary make you look naive, dishonest or stupid - all of which suggest you are vulnerable. Better you should tell your man that you know the other guy was pushing your limits but you won't let that happen - the ONLY source of confidence that your man has that you want overstep the boundaries is you - your strength, commitment and ability to see situations for what they are.

I did it in my twenties -- it just sort of happened. My wife and I were on a weekend away with another couple.

We got drunk a little and someone suggested that we should make out with each other's spouse. We did and it was fun. It ended with us swapping and full view of the other couple.

It wasn't even embarrassing after. We didn't do that from there on, but we did have an open relationship.

JF

sandie350 said:

yes it did.......i dated a few guys i met at the swingers club.......hubby had no idea

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wow thats HOT!!!

sandie350 said:

we actually advertised in a contact mag for interested couples to meet up for fun......we got 4 replies i think.........

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That was how my ex and i started as well, back in the 1980's, pre internet.

So much easier these days with sites like this and other purpose built "swingers" sites.

Pretty_kitty169 said:

Have you ever done it? How did it go? Any advice for those who havent done this? Posted ads on lit and havent found anyone, how do you find a couple to swap with?

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My wife and I did it. I think the wives got together and planned it. Something so good about fucking in one room while your wife fucks in the next and then the women come back to their husbands for a sloppy fuck then switching rooms again. Do it if you get a chance and all parties are totally willing.

We have swapped with several couples over the years and always enjoyed it.

This is something my ex wife and i discussed and got on the verge of Turning talk into reality with a few couples but it never fully came to fruition. Seemed like there was always a 3-1 vote or 3-0 with one abstention, but to me it seems you need full unanimous agreement. New wife doesn't venture down these thought lines, but what a way for couples to fulfill mutual desires of their partners which they may not share. Wonder if anyone has tips for cracking the ice a bit as it were, with their partner or another couple.