Fun with rope?

All day today, I toyed with my little girl. While at work, I texted her all sorts of commands, like inserting a large butt plug in her for a few hours. I came home and finished her off several times - all delicious.

So, while I was at work, I had some ideas about rope. I am no pro at all. We have used rope for simple restraints and anal hooking in the past. All great!

Tonight, I told her that I wanted to practice with rope, but that it wasn't going to be a real session. I was inspired to practice by an announcement of an upcoming rope teaching session from the local kink society in which beginners are encouraged to come and bring their mates to learn.

So, I had her stand up naked. I wrapped rope around her upper left arm, wrapped across her back to loop around her upper right arm several times. The idea was to keep her upper arms close to her torso. Then, I was thinking of doing the same for her forearms, then loop down to her thighs to wrap them and wrap from one to the other. The idea was to provide a loop for the Hitachi. I hope this all makes sense. Then, I was going to have her lie on her back. The idea was to use the Hitachi and keep her arms from moving. It would not necessarily be all the roping I would do, but I was just checking that part of it.

Anyway, after doing this for a bit, she just blurted out, "This isn't proper. These knots are no good. I can get out of this. You need to go read a book or something if you are going to do this." I tried pointing out that I wasn't doing anything but experimenting and learning. I wasn't trying to tightly restrain her with what I was doing.

She was very condescending.

This all seems to be consistent with this idea that I am supposed to be a ready-made dom. I think that "learning" with me is a huge turn-off for her.

So, what to do? I can go to rope training alone I guess?

Have you ever looked into rope safety or looked up proper knots and tutorials? If you haven't, I also would have freaked out, but not because I think someone should be "readymade."

Anyway, after doing this for a bit, she just blurted out, "This isn't proper. These knots are no good. I can get out of this. You need to go read a book or something if you are going to do this." I tried pointing out that I wasn't doing anything but experimenting and learning. I wasn't trying to tightly restrain her with what I was doing.

She was very condescending.

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It's possible she didn't feel safe. Also, she may have assumed that when you suggested rope it meant you had already looked into it. Then while you were tying she realized you really didn't know what you were doing. Or she really just didn't handle letting you experiment well. Either way, I suggest you do some studying first.

As for the class, tell her you want to learn and that the best way to do so is with her as your partner at that class. You should talk to her about this and also maybe come up with ways you can practice with her input without it sounding condescending.

Here are some links to more info:

A bit about safety

My favorite site for learning knots

Tutorials

No, she wasn't concerned with safety at all. She was concerned with doing it tight enough so that she would not be able to get out of it. This is what she said, "I can get out of these no problem. Go read a book and come back when you know how to do this properly."

hooterbif said:

No, she wasn't concerned with safety at all. She was concerned with doing it tight enough so that she would not be able to get out of it. This is what she said, "I can get out of these no problem. Go read a book and come back when you know how to do this properly."

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I'd sit down and have a talk about constructive criticism, versus unhelpful comments. Actually I probably just wouldn't be tying up someone who talked to me like that, but I have a low tolerance for unkind language.

My Daddy "tied" me a couple of weeks ago. Well, my hands anyway. While I could have easily gotten out of it, the thought never crossed my mind. I actually held the cord in place so it wouldn't fall off. This was all very informal, although it was something He thought about in advance because He mentioned it when the idea occurred to Him the day before. I thoroughly enjoyed everything He did to me while I was in this position. The spanking with His leather belt, the scent of the belt under my nose where He left it lying while He worked to pleasure me. Sigh.

He is a sailor so I would have expected a good knot, but I'm not one to complain when I'm being paid attention to! I did make a passing mention of the lack of knot, but only afterwards, and not in a condescending way I hope.

That's my two cents anyway. Sorry I know it didn't directly answer your question about going to rope training alone. Personally, I would be thrilled to be asked to rope training.

Geez louise.

Stuff her panties in her mouth. Use some velcro restraints to tie her arms to a chair - tell her she won't get out of that and use the next hour to practice with your rope.

cookiecat said:

Geez louise.

Stuff her panties in her mouth. Use some velcro restraints to tie her arms to a chair - tell her she won't get out of that and use the next hour to practice with your rope.

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Exactly this.
She is an ungrateful sub.
Human manners demand better.

... I think someone has forgotten their place.

Perhaps being stripped, blindfolded, having her wrists bound to her ankles, and then serenading the floor with " Pop! Goes the Weasel " a couple times with a clamp on her tongue ( each " Pop!" punctuated with heartfelt slap on the rear ), may help her to recall the virtues of constructive criticism?

_Necrosomantic_ said:

... I think someone has forgotten their place.

Perhaps being stripped, blindfolded, having her wrists bound to her ankles, and then serenading the floor with " Pop! Goes the Weasel " a couple times with a clamp on her tongue ( each " Pop!" punctuated with heartfelt slap on the rear ), may help her to recall the virtues of constructive criticism?

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I like your style. I wrote about it in a different post but CLAMP ON TONGUE is the worst.

The Oscar Meyer bologna song has been sung many times as I've been over my husband's knee.

cascadiabound said:

Exactly this.
She is an ungrateful sub.
Human manners demand better.

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Manners, right!? I'm thinking said sub could google Miss Manners advice and read them aloud as he practices his rope skills.

cookiecat said:

I like your style. I wrote about it in a different post but CLAMP ON TONGUE is the worst.

The Oscar Meyer bologna song has been sung many times as I've been over my husband's knee.

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" If thy right eye offend thee, then pluck it out and cast it from thee. If thy tongue offend thee, clamp it and spank them to a jaunty tune."

Pretty sure that's word for word gospel.
( I'll have to remember the Oscar Meyer song for the future though, that's good )

hooterbif said:

No, she wasn't concerned with safety at all. She was concerned with doing it tight enough so that she would not be able to get out of it. This is what she said, "I can get out of these no problem. Go read a book and come back when you know how to do this properly."

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Ok, well you can still be concerned about safety. She sounds like a total cunt. If she can't be accommodating while you're learning, stop giving her what she wants. Stop all play and the dynamic and sit her down and tell her that if she can't be more respectful when she talks to you you just won't do it. Her behavior makes me think she wants you to get annoyed with her and do "punishment" things to her.

Don't reward bad behavior.

SpunThings said:

I'd sit down and have a talk about constructive criticism, versus unhelpful comments. Actually I probably just wouldn't be tying up someone who talked to me like that, but I have a low tolerance for unkind language.

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Thank you for the comment.

I think that she might have thought that she was providing constructive criticism. She started by saying that the first loop I did made her think that I knew what I was doing but that all the rest of the knots were not proper. I tried pointing out that I wasn't at all bothering with knots because I was focused on whether the whole arrangement made sense and whether there was enough rope.

babslovesherdaddy said:

That's my two cents anyway. Sorry I know it didn't directly answer your question about going to rope training alone. Personally, I would be thrilled to be asked to rope training.

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Thanks. I like your approach.

My girl is a sailor, too, but somehow does not want to teach me about knots because that would take away her impression of me as a dom.

cookiecat said:

Geez louise.

Stuff her panties in her mouth. Use some velcro restraints to tie her arms to a chair - tell her she won't get out of that and use the next hour to practice with your rope.

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Thanks - fun idea!

To tell you the truth, she would just sit there and build feelings of disdain as she watches me fumble with rope. I think the answer is to not involve her in learning activities.

MeekMe said:

Ok, well you can still be concerned about safety. She sounds like a total cunt. If she can't be accommodating while you're learning, stop giving her what she wants. Stop all play and the dynamic and sit her down and tell her that if she can't be more respectful when she talks to you you just won't do it. Her behavior makes me think she wants you to get annoyed with her and do "punishment" things to her.

Don't reward bad behavior.

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I know when she is veering off into bratty behavior in anticipation of a punishment, but this is not that. In fact, during this interaction last night, she was squarely out of the sub space that she was in all day. It's like her voice just dropped out of DDlg and back to a critical voice.

I am sure that she does not respect me as a dom. As you have seen in a previous thread, she recently had an experience which blew her mind when she was dommed. I know that is in the back of her mind. She even said to me a few days ago to ramp up the verbal feedback during sex like that other girl did to her.

As far as stopping all play, I basically just walked out of the room last night and have been sort of business-like since.

hooterbif said:

I know when she is veering off into bratty behavior in anticipation of a punishment, but this is not that. In fact, during this interaction last night, she was squarely out of the sub space that she was in all day. It's like her voice just dropped out of DDlg and back to a critical voice.

I am sure that she does not respect me as a dom. As you have seen in a previous thread, she recently had an experience which blew her mind when she was dommed. I know that is in the back of her mind. She even said to me a few days ago to ramp up the verbal feedback during sex like that other girl did to her.

As far as stopping all play, I basically just walked out of the room last night and have been sort of business-like since.

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You seem like a great guy who's really trying to make this work.

Without really knowing anything except what you post, it seems like this other girl situation is looming large between you.

Too large?? Is everything you do going to be compared to this?

I like that you're setting aside all of these kinky shenanigans and just hanging out for a while.

hooterbif said:

No, she wasn't concerned with safety at all. She was concerned with doing it tight enough so that she would not be able to get out of it. This is what she said, "I can get out of these no problem. Go read a book and come back when you know how to do this properly."

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Sooooo.... She's decided she wants to run things? Good to know.

hooterbif said:

Thank you for the comment.

I think that she might have thought that she was providing constructive criticism. She started by saying that the first loop I did made her think that I knew what I was doing but that all the rest of the knots were not proper. I tried pointing out that I wasn't at all bothering with knots because I was focused on whether the whole arrangement made sense and whether there was enough rope.

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You told her (communication!) from the start that you were just getting a feel for the rope/exploring. How the hell are you supposed to know what you're doing/make everything this seamless magical experience, without PRACTICING on a body?

Easy solution - refuse to tie her, and find someone else to tie. Maybe even someone who enjoys the experience she's having more than the fantasy in her head.

I will note, however, that it might not have been the best idea to build her up all day with the sexy stuff, only to switch gear into practical learning mode when she got home. You spent the whole day feeding her fantasy buttons, then bam! No sexy time, just rope practice. Not smart on your part.

hooterbif said:

Thanks. I like your approach.

My girl is a sailor, too, but somehow does not want to teach me about knots because that would take away her impression of me as a dom.

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Because all true dominants spring from the womb, ready to be a fetish delivery service at the drop of a hat! There is no learning curve in real [porn... Erotica... Online] BDSM!

She's treating you like a fetish delivery system, and you're hung up/feeling insecure about this recent girl/girl thing... My magic 8 ball sees trouble.

hooterbif said:

Thanks - fun idea!

To tell you the truth, she would just sit there and build feelings of disdain as she watches me fumble with rope. I think the answer is to not involve her in learning activities.

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If I acted like that, I'd be single.

If you're comfortable doing so, get involved in local rope groups and start exploring on your own. I know there's a local group here that meets monthly, specifically for rope demo and learning. I know a guy through Fet who loves to tie, and can find 3-4 opportunities a week to hang out with rope people and learn stuff, and according to him there is no shortage of appreciative rope bunnies out there.

If she doesn't respect you as a dom, I'd stop being her don until she learned to treat me with respect. Don't reinforce negative behavior. I agree that maybe building up the sexy, then having a boring session of practice wasn't well thought out. The thing is, as a dom you get to be a human being who makes mistakes. I think she has this porn fantasy in her head that she seriously needs to let go.

You deserve respect as much as she. You deserve a partner just as vested in the success of the relationship as you. Just because you're in charge doesn't mean you have to do all the work. You get to make honest mistakes, and it sounds like you're putting a lot of work into getting it right.

She really needs to change her perspective. I agree it sounds like she's treating you like a fetish delivery system.

_____

cookiecat said:

Without really knowing anything except what you post, it seems like this other girl situation is looming large between you.

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I think it was a watershed moment in which my girlfriend entered a very deep subspace. I think that there is gold in them there hills!

Thank you for the response.

Thanks Cutie.

CutieMouse said:

I will note, however, that it might not have been the best idea to build her up all day with the sexy stuff, only to switch gear into practical learning mode when she got home. You spent the whole day feeding her fantasy buttons, then bam! No sexy time, just rope practice. Not smart on your part.

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Oh, could be. I thought that it was a perfect let-up from the 5 hours of sexcapades earlier in the day. She had already been at least an hour into a break from that when I brought up the rope thing. I also figured that she would get a little bit aroused just by having my hands/rope brush across her pussy a few times while I practiced, and I thought that it could have ended up back into sex.

CutieMouse said:

If you're comfortable doing so, get involved in local rope groups and start exploring on your own.

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Yep, I'm on it.

hooterbif said:

I think it was a watershed moment in which my girlfriend entered a very deep subspace. I think that there is gold in them there hills!

Thank you for the response.

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I had that happen unexpectedly with my husband once. It was fun. I don't compaee all our experiences to it. Those mental states are tough to reach, and if she's chasing it I expect it's going to be hard to reach.

SpunThings said:

If she doesn't respect you as a dom, I'd stop being her don until she learned to treat me with respect.

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Yep (and thank you for your continued replies).

SpunThings said:

I had that happen unexpectedly with my husband once. It was fun. I don't compaee all our experiences to it. Those mental states are tough to reach, and if she's chasing it I expect it's going to be hard to reach.

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Absolutely.

I'm not saying that I want to get to that space every time, or even every other time, or even more than once a month. From what I saw just afterwards, and days after that, it was absolutely exhausting for her body.

I would simply like to visit that space some time, see what it is like, share that with her.