Introducing the Critic Laureate of Literotica... Johnny Spade!

SomberBard said:

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It's funny cuz it's true

sr71plt said:

Thanks, JS, for confirming that you are an arrogant and offensive Scouries wannabe.

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That's rich you calling me arrogant.

You know I lurked here a long time before posting, (oh, lurking is what the kids call reading/browsing a forum online without usually posting, Grandpa). You mention these other people who were hard to swallow, well brother, I remember tons of instances where you were the one getting all the heat.

Your insistence on acting like small, independent online publishing with 20 books printed to paper is akin to being a New York Times bestseller for HarperCollins is surely a hallmark of a borderline personality disorder left unchecked.

I'm not the only one who cringes at your didactic insistence that every post be up to some imagined standard, which is of course, yours. Sometimes, believe it or not 'Sir', you DON'T have to respond to everything that you don't agree with!

It's a calm maturity that usually is something one aquires as they grow older but obviously, like a sense a humor, it never arrived on your personality's doorstep.

Hell, you Bing or Google sr71p...and before the rest can be typed gems like this from the forum's past pop up:

If there is one person who stirs up more shit, who causes more problems with more people, and who attacks everyone, it's Sr71plt.

No one is safe from the misery that he vomits. He dislikes everything and everybody.

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You will never win a battle of wits with me my friend, for one you are a woefully inadequate adversary with a self aggrandized intellect that has obviously been blunted. Furthermore, I am a lover not a fighter.

Have a great one at Sun City, or Whispering Palms, wherever Uncle Sam's got you staying...where, no doubt, your winning personality sends your neighbour's fleeing to their rooms saying "Shit, Dirk's walking this way, probably wants to bitch at us about the TV again, run!" There they will spend the rest of their day, doors locked, curtains drawn...waiting for it to stop.

Leave it to the Brits to rise above petty nonsense with dignity and maturity.

Keep up the good work, JohnnySpade

JohnnySpade said:

Relax brother, it is a nickname, an angle to introduce myself to the authorship & readership of the site. I have been here lurking a long time & a member for a few years so I have read many different stories. A common issue was afterwards or beforehand in looking for something to read, the real reviews written with thought and longer than 20 letters were few & far between.

So when you see a need in this world, step up or don't bitch. If you can lay some critiques down by all means...

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Understand Pilot does contribute a lot to the site in stories and grammar advice, but doesn't have much of a sense of humor, he does not get tongue in cheek and seems to take everything literally, kind of like Drax in Guardians of the Galaxy

As for the idiot he is comparing you to, you're nothing like him. that tool created fake contests, mocked women who had miscarriages and drove another woman off by filling the boards with stories about how he did her in a three some

So pay no attention to the unfair comparison you give good reviews and people are getting a kick out of you, its refreshing.

lovecraft68 said:

Understand Pilot does contribute a lot to the site in stories and grammar advice, but doesn't have much of a sense of humor, he does not get tongue in cheek and seems to take everything literally, kind of like Drax in Guardians of the Galaxy

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True Dat!

lovecraft68 said:

Understand Pilot does contribute a lot to the site in stories and grammar advice, but doesn't have much of a sense of humor, he does not get tongue in cheek and seems to take everything literally, kind of like Drax in Guardians of the Galaxy

As for the idiot he is comparing you to, you're nothing like him. that tool created fake contests, mocked women who had miscarriages and drove another woman off by filling the boards with stories about how he did her in a three some

So pay no attention to the unfair comparison you give good reviews and people are getting a kick out of you, its refreshing.

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Coming from you Lovecraft that means a lot, no bullshit. I know I mentioned it but I read those Mother Son Confessions chapters as they were released, looking forward to each one. The third chapter with the storyline of the Mom being a MILF stripper/feature dancer and the son a bouncer at the club she works was so well written. It was paced so well and I could see every detail in my mind (like the Asian businessmen's faces whilst popping the puppet, lol). Truly great work, just want you to know since I didn't write a full review after first reading it last year.

I always did a star rating on stories I dug, but because I read Literotica 90% of the time on the Android mobile app I can't leave comments. That would be a great update. Would certainly make feedback to the author at least an option for app users.

Now if I like a story enough (or dislike it enough) I try to go on Chrome and pull it up and write a review. That's a big reason I'm putting it out there that I ldo reviews. After I read a great story and get entertained & all worked up, it is the least I can do to give some feedback to the authors efforts.

Be cool brother...

Hi Johnny.

My stories are usually NonCon/R but I do dip my toe into Incest from time to time. The latest one I posted does contain an element of Incest. It started out scoring well but has dropped in the last 24 hours or so. I'd be very interested in your thoughts. Is it the setting? I heard the legend and embellished. I found it fun to do. It was written quickly and I've spotted some typos since publishing - but there are typos in most of my submissions that I spot too late.

Please have at it:
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-legend-of-blue-willow

Cheers,
Sarah x

Been busy but read a story tonight that I thought was very good. You can read the story "The Discovery" and my review here:

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-discovery-6?page=4

Johnny, you should drop some indepth critiques on the poems here as well.

Less time consuming for you and those poets could always use a boost in readership.

Pick one that you'll think you like...

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=913553&page=submissions
Warning, the older ones have some 'less refined writing' lol. I obviously got better as I continued and the one titled 'Tying Up My Friend For Fun' is not mine (this is stated at beginning of story). I tend to like exhibitionism and light bondage but I am about to play with an incest story. Do you edit?

Anyway, feel free to critique one or all...

We all cave sometimes

I would love to have one of mine reviewed. The link below goes to one of my more accessible works. It’s larger story hits on many kinks (lesbian, gay, anal, oral, and a slew more), but the first chapter is mainly quasi-futa and rough sex. Also, it's sword-and-sorcery fantasy. Also, funny.

https://www.literotica.com/s/terrible-company-ch-01

Is anyone actually getting critiques from this self-anointed "critic laureate"? My impression is that Johnny is all blow and no go.

Seems like he's putting them in the comments sections of the actual stories. Or at least, the requests on the first page were happening that way.

Still? Or was he just a one-week wonder?

I'll let you know if/when he gets to mine.

I've disabled comments so any critique would only appear on the forum. Nothing so far, Pilot x

sr71plt said:

Is anyone actually getting critiques from this self-anointed "critic laureate"? My impression is that Johnny is all blow and no go.

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*just shakes her head* Like he said on 4/13, he's been busy, but he did critique a story on that date. Real life does take priority, I'm guessing.

Yeah, I'm sure that doing his nails should come first with the self-anointed "official" critic laureate of Literotica. Some of you are such lemmings when it comes to pimping for strokes on your stories from just any stranger passing by who calls himself the god of critique.

sr71plt said:

Yeah, I'm sure that doing his nails should come first with the self-anointed "official" critic laureate of Literotica. Some of you are such lemmings when it comes to pimping for strokes on your stories from just any stranger passing by who calls himself the god of critique.

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You're so funny. I, of course, am not pimping for anything, because he already said he doesn't enjoy BDSM. So, he won't be reading anymore of my stories. I'm just stating facts and not anonymously.

sr71plt said:

Yeah, I'm sure that doing his nails should come first with the self-anointed "official" critic laureate of Literotica. Some of you are such lemmings when it comes to pimping for strokes on your stories from just any stranger passing by who calls himself the god of critique.

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So then why do you keep posting here?

And why can't you get it through your thick noggin, "Critique Laureate" is tongue in cheek? Man you're dry.

My nick name in the dart league is 'shredder'. You'd probably picture someone putting documents through a machine.

lovecraft68 said:

So then why do you keep posting here?

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To give you someone to be obsessed by. I assumed you knew that.

Funny, this wasn't your attitude when Scouries was posting like this. But, ever the hypocrite, eh?

Hey Johnny,

It's not I/T, but I'd love to get a read & review from the Critic Laureate on my story:

https://www.literotica.com/s/jeannies-shopping-strip

Many thanks!!

NotWise said:

Feedback is appreciated, but umm, pardon me. Did Laurel provide you with the "Official Critic Laureate" title? Can you explain why your comments are more valuable than those readily available from Mr. Anonymous?

I'd like to see an example of your critique. Lovecraft has hundreds of stories up, but reviewing his writing can be intimidating. Be my guest to start with That Little Bitch. It's a short little piece. It's taboo rather than real incest and no-one who counts will be upset by your comments. Give it your best shot.

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Mrs, miss, ms anonymous as well.

kcRollins said:

*just shakes her head* Like he said on 4/13, he's been busy, but he did critique a story on that date. Real life does take priority, I'm guessing.

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I appreciated kcRollins shining the light on the fact we all have lives here, much like lovecraft had to again teach that miserable fossil sr72shit that my Critic Laureate role is quite fictional and tongue in cheek.

But I do feel bad for not rating more stories personally. I read many and always rate, but writing a full review for each hasn't been easy since the election hit full bloom.

I am writer too but not of fiction, more freelance and investigate, all decidedly non-fiction. My Twiter page:
@WhatSpadeThinks


have taken my free time between working. Since much of my work is about the election, the insane Trump phenomenon (I'm an opinion writer, no unbiased journalist) and local issues in Nevada have kept me busy and I haven't been *writing" for fun especially after doing it all day.

But I have some recommendations I want to make, all stories I've read recently, many that were 4 star level or better, to give you an idea of what I think the best of the I/T (my fav genre) stories have been lately.

Below is a list of stories I have read in the last few months that really made an impression. I put them to my favorites list and most are good enough to be read again and still have the impact the first reading delivered. Here are few stories from the list I want to touch on real quick...

I've mentioned lovecraft68's "Mother Son Confessions" before but they merit repeating how great they are, all four installments with 1& 2 really standing out.

DAArgento's "I Seduced Dad at the Gym" is a really cool twist of the son wants mom/mom wants son putting a high sexed daughter in the drivers seat in pursuit of her Dad. Interesting flow & great descriptions.

I just read tonight the 3 available chapters of Low Swingin's "Getting Mom". I know of some Japanese Anime & Manga but I'm familiar with most of them second hand by their Taboo or pop culture reference plotlines. The Manga "classic", (well the guys at a certain image board say it is), "Scarlet Desire" (pictured below) influenced Low Swingin's style in this tale of mom/son sexual awakening. But as good as "Scarlet Desire" is it's basic comic book presentation can't compete with the great descriptors and exposition Swingin uses. It is a great read and before or after you do, check out the manga as well, available from a quick "Scarlet Desire" Google search.

Check out the stories listed below if you love the Incest/Taboo genre like I do, they are well worth checking out. Again my apologies to any writers who have asked for reviews that I haven't got to yet. I have answered a few and will read those sent to me whenever possible. I don't dislike other genres but if I'm laying in bed, trying to sleep and I am going to check out the Literotica app (my chosen way of reading stories), I'm most likely going to check out the new I/T stories, just my favorite is all. If the Literotica APP had the ability to A)write reviews of stories & B)view the forum, I'd be critiquing a hell of a lot more stories...it would be so much more convenient (hint hint Admins, let's update that app!).

Everyone be cool... Johnny Spade

READ THESE!!!:
After School Special by lovecraft68
Cam Slut Mom Ch. 04 by DirtyMindedMom
Mother Son Confessions Ch. 01 by lovecraft68
Mother Son Confessions Ch. 02 by lovecraft68
The Discovery by Ian Shergold
The Home Movie by how_it_happened
Spying on My Mother by HeyAll
I Seduced My Dad at the Gym by DAArgento
An Obstinate Mother by Momstheboss
Taking the Edge Off Ch. 01. by PanzerFeck
Where I'm Meant To Be by warrior_freya
Forbidden Pride Ch. 01 by BadMrBoogieMan
A Journey to The Deep by blue_butterfly
My Mother's Dark Side by chorizotaco
Getting Mom by LowSwingin
Getting Mom Ch. 02 by LowSwingin