dom advice

Seeking some fresh advice from any doms out there?

You didn't ask any question. Are you looking for a PM discussion with a dom?

Maybe you could ask your question here on the board? You could get answers and opinions from more people and hear many points of view. That way others can learn from your question and the answers it gets, too.

seela said:

You didn't ask any question. Are you looking for a PM discussion with a dom?

Maybe you could ask your question here on the board? You could get answers and opinions from more people and hear many points of view. That way others can learn from your question and the answers it gets, too.

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I'm considering betting into BDSM as a dom. My question is this: have you ever made your sub pass out?

beginnerDomK said:

I'm considering betting into BDSM as a dom. My question is this: have you ever made your sub pass out?

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What are the odds of success? This must you know or forever unhappy will you be.

As a sub I can tell you I have passed out a few times

Before you go calling yourself a dom, read the essay in my signature. It might change your mind, or prove to you that 'dom' is the right word for you.

beginnerDomK said:

I'm considering betting into BDSM as a dom. My question is this: have you ever made your sub pass out?

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To be fair to the OP, you should probably start your own thread. However, I will say this may not be safe especially if your sub is alone.

beginnerDomK said:

I'm considering betting into BDSM as a dom. My question is this: have you ever made your sub pass out?

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My answer is in 2 parts.

Have I done this? Yes.

Would I recommend it for a beginner? No!

It's like saying "I'm thinking of learning to drive.... Have you got a Bugatti Veyron?".

It's a fine goal to achieve, but do not expect to be able to do it safely out of the box. Remember that the human body, for all its perceived resilience to damage, is a fragile thing. Even a short period with reduce oxygen can cause brain damage, the bones in the neck are fragile and easily damaged.

The article already referenced here is a good one. Being a Dom has a lot of draws to it... But is is not a licence to be abusive or to do what you want to your sub. They are a person too with a whole raft of needs that you need to consider. They're not just a human guinea pig for you to experiment your kinks upon... Even the ones they say they want.

There's no better way to learn than asking the right questions of the right people, so props to you for asking here first rather than just finding an inexperienced sub and going for it. But a new sub and a new dom is a recipe for potential disaster.

Take it slow, learn from those around you, go to munches, demonstrations, as many book and web resources you can find and, above all, have safe, sane, consensual fun!

No. And frankly no matter how great you think you are at these fun and games there are good reasons to basically never ever do this no matter what. Even if you have a full medical history on that person.

However, sometimes they just do when they lock their knees and they're standing, and sometimes they're 250 lbs when they do this. It's special in a not so special way.

Don't go looking for trouble before you've had some time logged with the fuzzy handcuffs and a fuck thing for a while to see if you even like this.

Netzach said:

No. And frankly no matter how great you think you are at these fun and games there are good reasons to basically never ever do this no matter what. Even if you have a full medical history on that person.

However, sometimes they just do when they lock their knees and they're standing, and sometimes they're 250 lbs when they do this. It's special in a not so special way.

Don't go looking for trouble before you've had some time logged with the fuzzy handcuffs and a fuck thing for a while to see if you even like this.

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This/\ /\ /\ !!! Having been a dom/top for most of my life, and now enjoying the role of being a subbie for a while, I cannot fathom EVER why anyone would want and/or desire the sub to "pass out." That tells me you've done something horribly wrong and the subbie likely has a health condition you've just seriously messed with.

As others have said, if you're just getting into this, you are asking a question that's akin to asking, I'm thinking of taking flight lessons, where can I rent a 747 jumbo jet to start practicing with? You are looking into running before you've figured out how to crawl. Being a safe and well-controlled dom/domme takes time, it takes practice, it takes self-discipline, it requires a lot of thought, and it requires a lot of study. This isn't something you snap your fingers and suddenly you can do it - real life isn't a fetish porno movie.

If you're thinking about getting into this (either of you who posted earlier), then study, study, study, try it - SLOWLY at first, and see if it suits you. Build up to more elaborate sessions, but imo, NEVER press a sub to the point of passing out or losing consciousness - that is simply dangerous and irresponsible.

SeraphinaCD said:

This/\ /\ /\ !!! Having been a dom/top for most of my life, and now enjoying the role of being a subbie for a while, I cannot fathom EVER why anyone would want and/or desire the sub to "pass out." That tells me you've done something horribly wrong and the subbie likely has a health condition you've just seriously messed with.

As others have said, if you're just getting into this, you are asking a question that's akin to asking, I'm thinking of taking flight lessons, where can I rent a 747 jumbo jet to start practicing with? You are looking into running before you've figured out how to crawl. Being a safe and well-controlled dom/domme takes time, it takes practice, it takes self-discipline, it requires a lot of thought, and it requires a lot of study. This isn't something you snap your fingers and suddenly you can do it - real life isn't a fetish porno movie.

If you're thinking about getting into this (either of you who posted earlier), then study, study, study, try it - SLOWLY at first, and see if it suits you. Build up to more elaborate sessions, but imo, NEVER press a sub to the point of passing out or losing consciousness - that is simply dangerous and irresponsible.

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Oh I totally get WHY people would want this, I totally get that. The only people who really seem to know how to teach this without killing each other are advanced martial artists: if you HAVE to know this, join a judo dojo and prepare to work hard. The BDSM guru of "don't do this" is a judo guy as well as an MD and he's coming from the MD angle in saying it's always a high risk, always a bad idea. I don't claim to know anything beyond "bad idea, good on paper."