How to be a dom.
- Thread starter Velvitine
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yukonnights
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2007
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- 3,891
Let's see. If I were just beginning to explore this...I would; Sit back and really think about the kind of relationship I want. Is it strictly casual—no strings attached and no real names? Or is it more serious and open to something more? Then, what kind of submissive male do I find attractive? (They come in many shapes, sizes and kinks.) You get the idea...first get a good idea of the "perfect guy".
Maybe the next thing that is really quite important is; What Kind of domination do I want to explore? Is it gentle fem-dom, or a little rougher? Is it full on BDSM? or something else?
Once you do these self evaluations, and are pretty confident in what you want— it's just a matter of putting yourself out there. The things you figured out about yourself will guide you to the right guy. Finding him will depend a lot on where you live and the number of venues available to you for your search. It may be online only, or local groups of like minded folks.
Hope you find him ~
PS: You will probably get more responses on the BDSM Forums.
Maybe the next thing that is really quite important is; What Kind of domination do I want to explore? Is it gentle fem-dom, or a little rougher? Is it full on BDSM? or something else?
Once you do these self evaluations, and are pretty confident in what you want— it's just a matter of putting yourself out there. The things you figured out about yourself will guide you to the right guy. Finding him will depend a lot on where you live and the number of venues available to you for your search. It may be online only, or local groups of like minded folks.
Hope you find him ~
PS: You will probably get more responses on the BDSM Forums.
AnnieLit
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2019
- Posts
- 2,273
First of all, I second the suggestion of posting this tp the bdsm part of the board.
The next question is - being domme to whom and where? Are we talking online domination or real life? Are you married? Have a bf? The submissive guys that turn you on -- what sort of interaction did you actually have with them? Waatched porn? Read stories? Talked in PMs? Dated in real life?
Next thing that needs to be clarified, is what aspects of domination excite you the most. Being in control? Bringing on pain? Delivering humiliation? Being worshipped? BDSM has a lot of flavors, you don't have to like all of them, but you do need to know at least one or two things that you do like.
Assiming that you are single and looking for a real life domination, I would say, find a local group. Not a bdsm sex club, that can be a bit intimidating, but a meetup group. Sign up for their updates, see what's going on. When you are ready, go to a munch. They are usually held in public places, so you will be perfectly safe. Meet new people, start interacting. The group might have other events, like cfnm parties, body painting parties, rope demonstration classes etc. All of this will help you learn more about yourself - what you like, what you want.
Maybe you will meet somebody in the process, maybe not. In the beginning, be open to play with older subs - they can teach you a lot. Just don't forget to listen to yourself, try not to get into something just because this is his way of submission. It has to be your way of domination too, otherwise you will hate it.
The next question is - being domme to whom and where? Are we talking online domination or real life? Are you married? Have a bf? The submissive guys that turn you on -- what sort of interaction did you actually have with them? Waatched porn? Read stories? Talked in PMs? Dated in real life?
Next thing that needs to be clarified, is what aspects of domination excite you the most. Being in control? Bringing on pain? Delivering humiliation? Being worshipped? BDSM has a lot of flavors, you don't have to like all of them, but you do need to know at least one or two things that you do like.
Assiming that you are single and looking for a real life domination, I would say, find a local group. Not a bdsm sex club, that can be a bit intimidating, but a meetup group. Sign up for their updates, see what's going on. When you are ready, go to a munch. They are usually held in public places, so you will be perfectly safe. Meet new people, start interacting. The group might have other events, like cfnm parties, body painting parties, rope demonstration classes etc. All of this will help you learn more about yourself - what you like, what you want.
Maybe you will meet somebody in the process, maybe not. In the beginning, be open to play with older subs - they can teach you a lot. Just don't forget to listen to yourself, try not to get into something just because this is his way of submission. It has to be your way of domination too, otherwise you will hate it.
