Trimming the fat

Roughly 80-90% complete with the content of my first submission. I'm taking some time to go back over the first section and re-read it for continuity as I wrap up the story.

As I'm doing this, I'm trimming down sentences I find to have unnecessary adjectives or are too wordy, or just information I realize isn't pertinent to moving the story along.

I feel I'm doing right by this, but also thought I might be shooting myself in the foot by removing some of the color from my writing and leaving it too sparse.

Is it better to let someone else do a majority of your editing since you might be biased to the content since you wrote it? Or might be too self-critical?

Sorry if this is a basic/silly question. I was more of a music/art guy in school and never took a writing class. Only recently developed an interest in writing despite being a long-time reader.

Any input would be great.
Thanks.

Trimming the Fat

Hey Jake,
Actually, I think it's a good question. As an editor, I would be a little torn about removing too much of an author's work, probably opting to just make it grammatically correct. I guess my opinion is that it's a fine line ... it should have enough to be descriptive but any irrelevant descriptions or information should be eliminated.
That's just my $.02,
Rip

I would look for *repetitive* phrases and descriptions, and eliminate those where appropriate.

I use examples like: He strode quickly.

Well, yes, because that's the kind of walk a stride is. So you could eliminate "quickly." And if that isn't fast enough for you, you probably need a word like "ran" or "sped."

Also, if you tell the reader something once, you don't need to say it again, unless there's a point to it, like adding to it or moving in a slightly different direction. I just read something that used three or four phrases in a row and said that a guy was moving slowly while having sex with a woman.

A while ago I remember reading another story where the author continually used the same phrases to describe her characters. These aren't the words, but the gist was that something like this:

She drank in the sight of her marvelous man, muscles sleek as he moved towards her.

<later>

Her marvelous man smiled at her...

Click to expand...

And so on.

Trust your reader. Say what you want to say and then let it go, and emphasize (if necessary) sparingly.

Thanks for the replies. I think I was bordering along a few things you all mentioned. Going to go back and revise a section or two now. Thanks again!

Strangely enough, I write sparsely in the first draft and add during reviews. I think your question is good because you can, indeed, strip out your voice when you trim down adjectives and other "color" words during reviews (and repeated reviews can delete your unique voice altogether). It's also a danger that untrained editors will do this with your story as well. I wouldn't suggest asking for a lot of developmental editing from an editor of unknown training--like here on Literotica--especially until you've established your own voice and know what it is and what it isn't and are prepared to stand your ground on voice.

Another thing you could do is to think about what you read. What authors do you like, and what about their style. I'm not saying you should imitate them, but you could see what elements you do and don't like and adapt the ones you do into your style in your way.

I am not advocating that you strip out every adverb or adjective, but I do think that it pays to look at anything repetitive. Does the repetition help the story? If not, that leaves you with options of removing it, changing it, etc.

I have never taken a writing course except one in college where the assignments was always "write" no one ever discussed "how". We get better merely by doing and by following the example of others. I have known I was a talented writer since Ms Kelly told me so in the fourth grade. Unfortunately, until my current spouse, she is the only one who ever told me so.

When I was 26 I lost (through theft) 2/3 of a novel I had worked on for 6 years. That discouraged me a bit.

Lately, here's what happened. I looked around at my office, the discs and paper copies of several of my stories lying around, the unfinished novel; and I thought: I am getting old. If I leave my writing like this, my children will come after I am dead and throw it all in the trash. Now, that might be where it belongs, but that is a different subject. I decided to put my work out there. I found Literotica and have published 41 stories there, read, (or at least opened) by over 200,000 people

I have learned tons from Literotica, my readers and other writers and editors on this site. 6 weeks ago I decided to try to publish my work for MONEY. It took me about three weeks to learn how to format my work for a particular site. Now i have four e books published and available for sale. And, yes, I am a professional writer. To date i have received $9.40. Through it all, I have had only my wife as editor. I should not be editing my own work because I am such a perfectionist that in editing, I am constantly revising the stories, which makes me pay less attention to the typos, etc, so some slip by. My advice, find an editor and stick to them like glue. Good ones are hard to find.