Middlemist
Virgin
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2013
- Posts
- 23
Think with your brain. Know what you're getting. Know what you're not. Write off babies, Christmas, birthdays, and be pleasantly surprised whenever you get what you'd like. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with that. Life is short, and for some people grasping is less important than enjoying what is.
Don't sit at home making him your every only thought. Don't doom yourself to a life of misery because that's what everyone says always happens either. Be in the moment, own the decision you make, and don't let anyone make you feel like a pariah either. They're not in your shoes. His wife is not your problem, but his. We're responsible for OUR lives and I've learned not to assume that the unwitting spouse is automatically the long suffering martyr or that they're not.
You don't know what you don't know and neither does anyone else.
Human relationships are pretty freaking complex and there is no playbook, much as everyone has tried to write them. Not many people are cut out for this kind of thing, so expect no understanding whatsoever if you are, and better get out your own cartography kit.
This is probably the best advice I've heard all day. I completely agree. Live in the moment and focus on yourself because you can't truly plan everything. You can only brace yourself and hope for the best.