COVID-19 RESOURCES
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

How do you describe the emotional tone (like "somber" vs "bright") of a D/s relations

J

jamsn

Virgin
Joined
Jun 21, 2017
Posts
10
How do you describe the emotional tone (like "somber" vs "bright") of a D/s relations

In a 24x7 D/s relationship, what words would you use to describe the desired emotional tone of relationship, being aimed for by the Dom & sub (because it's fulfilling)? Is there common language for describing where on the spectrum a desired kind of relationship falls? For instance consider the 2 relationships below:

Relationship 1: In one relationship, the sub may want to get punished frequently, may like testing limits, may like acting out, may want to be heavily controlled with a frequent and "heavy hand" (even if punishments are non-physical), or perhaps the dom enjoys the punishment dynamic (& so seeks a sub that wants punishment), or is simply hard to please and very controlling, so punishment is often "warranted".

In such a relationship, depending upon the personalities and how it works out, it could look like/be a "somber" kind of "dark" relationship much or all of the time (& they both like it that way). If a vanilla outsider were observing through a window, this relationship may look quite strange. "Troubled." And lacking in joy (even if it isn't really). Because it's filled with punishments and control.

Relationship 2: In another relationship, the sub may very much want to succeed always, and tries hard to never over-step limits, and learns well, so punishment is rare.

In such a relationship, things could be quite harmonious, and punishment rare. If a vanilla outsider were observing, this relationship might look pretty vanilla most of the time, filled with external signals of happiness (which isn't to say relationship #1 is unhappy...it just doesn't look bright & smiley).

So, is there common terminology to describe these different desired emotional tones of relationships, and other relationships across that spectrum?

If there's no common terms, what words would you use to describe a relationship aimed to be at one end of the spectrum, or the other, or the many places in between?

Would you be able to sum up either of the endpoints I gave in 1-2 sentences?
 
Last edited:
There's no common terms. The reason being, what you describe are just two examples of a very large group that would fall under the definition of D/S. If you name each one of those things - you will quickly run out of words.

With your two examples, I would struggle to find one word to describe each one. If I were to shorten it as much as possible, then I'd call them:
#1: Strict discipline relationship
#2: Desire to please relationship.

But that's so easy only because the main driving points of your examples are very pronounced. And I'm not completely on the mark too. With more blurry or complex relationships, where there are a synergy of many D/S desires and fetishes, you would find yourself struggling to describe them in once sentence, let alone in one term.:cattail:
 
Nezhul said:
With your two examples, I would struggle to find one word to describe each one. If I were to shorten it as much as possible, then I'd call them:
Click to expand...

Thanks for your thoughts. Yeah, I think doing it in 3 or 4 words is nigh impossible. Would you be able to describe #1 and #2 in 1-2 sentences?
 
I was in a relationship like #1. Striving for "Master" "slave" and living it 24/7. At that time, I craved punishment, I enjoyed rules and consequences. He loved being cruel and sadistic and enjoyed lots of tears but only in play - never in our day to day life.

We did have rules in every day life but they were never arbitrary or unrealistic. I never deliberately acted out in order to receive punishments; quite the opposite. I wanted to be obedient. I tried to be very compliant. I wanted to succeed and please and serve him. Punishment for being disobedient wasn't cruel or sadistic. Our play was.

Our relationship was fun and joyful and playful. Because it was a relationship! We were two people who liked being together. I made him laugh, he loved public displays of affection. He also liked peeing on me and leashing me under his office desk. So who knows what that vanilla person looking in the window would see? Sitting on the couch, watching Wall-E with his kids? Or my nose pressed to the wall because I spent too much time on the computer?

You're making a lot of broad generalizations. As if either relationship HAS to look a certain way. I understand what you're getting at but it's just not that easy. I don't understand why you're assuming that because a relationship is filled with rules and consequences/punishment or because the sub desires more control, it's dark and somber. That it can't be bright and smiley??? Like I was in tears all the time, or scared or bratty and he had to run around wielding whips, keeping me in check.

I can't give it one word. Not even a couple sentences. Nothing is that clear cut. Labels kind of suck but seem to be a necessary place to start the conversation about expectations.

Maybe I don't get the question?!
 
Last edited:
cookiecat said:
At that time, I craved punishment, I enjoyed rules and consequences. He loved being cruel and sadistic and enjoyed lots of tears but only in play - never in our day to day life.
Click to expand...

Thanks. Just trying to get conversation going, to get some thoughts figured-out.

I don't think a D/s has to be one way. That's why I keep referring to a spectrum. But I'm using 2 extreme endpoints as an example to get my main thought across.

It sounds like your relationship wasn't like my extreme #1 example, but that's fine.

I'm guessing you would've called the cruel play "fulfilling". Any other words? Or what words would describe it? Or would be descriptive to a vanilla person? Would "dark" be an appropriate word?

Is it correct to say that you also liked to laugh, and he liked making you laugh? Would you call the non-cruel non-play times like this "brighter"? Or what?

>I don't understand why you're assuming that because a relationship is filled with rules and consequences/punishment or because the sub desires more control, it's dark and somber.

Well, it's a bit dark during the punishment times, isn't it? Assuming the punishment is "severe".

>Like I was in tears all the time

I expect few or no relationships are like that, but I've spoken to subs that are clear they want a LOT of constant verbal and physical abuse, 24x7, and they want to be brought to tears regularly, in and out of the bedroom...so maybe not tears all the time...but very often...and generally not sounding like things would be "bright" too often.
 
jamsn said:
In a 24x7 D/s relationship, what words would you use to describe the emotional tone of relationships? Is there common language for describing where on the spectrum a relationship falls? For instance consider the 2 relationships below:

Relationship 1: In one relationship, the sub may want to get punished frequently, may like testing limits, may like acting out, may want to be heavily controlled with a frequent and "heavy hand" (even if punishments are non-physical), or perhaps the dom enjoys the punishment dynamic (& so seeks a sub that wants punishment), or is simply hard to please and very controlling, so punishment is often "warranted".

In such a relationship, depending upon the personalities and how it works out, it could look like/be a "somber" kind of "dark" relationship much or all of the time (& they both like it that way). If a vanilla outsider were observing through a window, this relationship may look quite strange. "Troubled." And lacking in joy (even if it isn't really). Because it's filled with punishments and control.

Relationship 2: In another relationship, the sub may very much want to succeed always, and tries hard to never over-step limits, and learns well, so punishment is rare.

In such a relationship, things could be quite harmonious, and punishment rare. If a vanilla outsider were observing, this relationship might look pretty vanilla most of the time, filled with external signals of happiness (which isn't to say relationship #1 is unhappy...it just doesn't look bright & smiley).

So, is there common terminology to describe these different emotional tones of relationships, and other relationships across this spectrum?

If there's no common terms, what words would you use to describe a relationship at one end of the spectrum, or the other, or the many places in between?

Would you be able to sum up either of the endpoints I gave in 1-2 sentences?
Click to expand...

I'm not really able to answer your question, having never had (nor wanting) a 24/7 arrangement like this. But when I'm doing the power/control/pain thing with my in-charge guy, we sometimes muse afterwards what it would look like from the outside (because a lot of it is quite rough and fighty at times). I don't think it's possible to get a clear picture of this sort of thing from the outside because, as Cookie says, they're things that happen in the context of relationships, and are hence laden with all the emotional aspects that come along with anything that happens within that relationship. Thus, it seems unlikely one or two words, or even one or two sentences, will capture all that. And I'm just talking about something that happens every few weeks ... I can only assume it would become even more complex if it were your everyday life.
 
You do know that we're actually humans, as in; people. With feelings and stuff. Right?

Ignoring for a moment this insane idea that you can somehow simplify a massive demographic of people's relationships into a categorical left-right spectrum, it seems like you're coming at this from an slight angle of "Well they can't actually enjoy some of the stuff they're doing so I wonder what they're thinking when they're doing it" rather than "maybe they do XYZ because they enjoy doing it"?

Not saying that people doing XYZ solely because they enjoy it is universally true, or that people might indeed not enjoy some of the things they do for whatever reason. My overarching problem here is that you are treating the idea that people don't enjoying bdsm as a universal truism.

E.g.

jamsn said:
I'm guessing you would've called the cruel play "fulfilling". Any other words? Or what words would describe it? Or would be descriptive to a vanilla person? Would "dark" be an appropriate word?
Click to expand...
Off-the-bat assuming that the play is necessarily cruel. As in harmful and/or unwanted by the recipient. I'm extrapolating that from the fact that you have to actually indirectly ask what the appeal might be by asking cookiecat 'what [she] would've called it'. I'm sure that not many people would engage in 'cruel play' if they didn't find it fulfilling or desirable in some way.

jamsn said:
Is it correct to say that you also liked to laugh, and he liked making you laugh? Would you call the non-cruel non-play times like this "brighter"? Or what?
Click to expand...
I assume I'm understanding that right, you're asking if he was more pleasant to interact with when not playing? Like the play somehow must detract from his overall niceness?
Again implicating that what you percieve to be cruel must necessarily be cruel as opposed to desirable.

jamsn said:
>I don't understand why you're assuming that because a relationship is filled with rules and consequences/punishment or because the sub desires more control, it's dark and somber.

Well, it's a bit dark during the punishment times, isn't it? Assuming the punishment is "severe".
Click to expand...
Assuming both parties don't mutually enjoy the punishment?
Edit:
See bolded below.

jamsn said:
>Like I was in tears all the time

I expect few or no relationships are like that, but I've spoken to subs that are clear they want a LOT of constant verbal and physical abuse, 24x7, and they want to be brought to tears regularly, in and out of the bedroom...so maybe not tears all the time...but very often...and generally not sounding like things would be "bright" too often.
Click to expand...
You say you don't think there's a one true way to do D/s but your posts are littered with references to an absolutist take on BDSM that classifies people's experiences with it as, seemingly to me, necessarily good or bad based on your personal subjective interpretation of their stated experiences. E.g. you see women crying at being hit with a flogger or something and assuming that because crying conventionally == bad, then they can't be feeling overall positive thoughts about their situation. When for some people that might be the height of ecstasy.

Has it not crossed your mind that those people might want a lot of verbal and physical abuse because that's what they consider "bright"??
 
Last edited:
jamsn said:
Thanks. Just trying to get conversation going, to get some thoughts figured-out.

I don't think a D/s has to be one way. That's why I keep referring to a spectrum. But I'm using 2 extreme endpoints as an example to get my main thought across.
Click to expand...

Conversation is good but I don't understand what your main thought is? Are you simply looking for adjectives???


It sounds like your relationship wasn't like my extreme #1 example, but that's fine.
Click to expand...

LOL. And here, I thought it was. He was a dominant who enjoyed uber control, the "punishment dynamic," who - on a daily basis - required obedience. I was a submissive who wanted to give up my control, who wanted a life full of rules and consequences and craved having those rules enforced. It's just that I didn't act out, I wanted to succeed.


I'm guessing you would've called the cruel play "fulfilling". Any other words? Or what words would describe it? Or would be descriptive to a vanilla person? Would "dark" be an appropriate word?

Is it correct to say that you also liked to laugh, and he liked making you laugh? Would you call the non-cruel non-play times like this "brighter"? Or what?
Click to expand...

Are you writing a paper?

Sure, to a vanilla person it might look dark because - like the scary bdsm stuff you see in porn, I might have on a hood or be hogtied or have stripes on my back from a singletail. This isn't vanilla sex so sure, it looks dark.

But, like any relationship - kinky or not, D/s or not - the "play" (the sex) was intimate and connecting and yes, fulfilling. Non-cruel, non-play times brighter? Not always. Sometimes we sat and paid bills or had to mow the lawn or had to sit with his young daughter and wait for her to finish having a tantrum.


>I don't understand why you're assuming that because a relationship is filled with rules and consequences/punishment or because the sub desires more control, it's dark and somber.

Well, it's a bit dark during the punishment times, isn't it? Assuming the punishment is "severe".

>Like I was in tears all the time

I expect few or no relationships are like that, but I've spoken to subs that are clear they want a LOT of constant verbal and physical abuse, 24x7, and they want to be brought to tears regularly, in and out of the bedroom...so maybe not tears all the time...but very often...and generally not sounding like things would be "bright" too often.
Click to expand...

I've been involved in real time bdsm for about 12 years and I don't know any submissives who want constant verbal and physical abuse or brought to tears regularly. We have jobs, kids, friends, family and have to function in the day to day world. What you describe is the nonsense I see at sites like Sex and Submission or Training of O. Hot, for sure! But reality?
 
Consilience said:
it seems like you're coming at this from an slight angle of "Well they can't actually enjoy some of the stuff they're doing so I wonder what they're thinking when they're doing it" rather than "maybe they do XYZ because they enjoy doing it"?
Click to expand...
No. You have completely misunderstood virtually everything I wrote. And I'd tried to explicitly say that #1 isn't unhappy. Obviously everyone is doing what they're doing because they want to, because it fulfills them, because it serves their goal of happiness.

All I'm looking for is general language to differentiate between, say, a sub that wants constant abuse and be made to cry 24x7 (ok, it won't be ALL the time, but they want it regularly, at any time), vs a sub that enjoys a relationship that would actually look pretty vanilla most of the time.

>Off-the-bat assuming that the play is necessarily cruel.

No! It's because cookiecat called their play "cruel", and him "cruel", and that she enjoyed play that way.

>I'm sure that not many people would engage in 'cruel play' if they didn't find it fulfilling or desirable in some way.

Yes, of course! That's why I said "I assume you'd call it fulfilling". Obviously she's doing it because she likes it.

>I assume I'm understanding that right, you're asking if he was more pleasant to interact with when not playing? Like the play somehow must detract from his overall niceness?

No, not at all. It's because the "look" of their "cruel" play looks very different from the "look" of 2 people making each other laugh. And I'm looking for language to describe that difference. Like dark/somber vs bright/light/harmonious. Or whatever.

>Assuming both parties don't mutually enjoy the punishment?

<sigh> Of course they do! That's why they're doing it! But it certainly "looks" darker than other kinds of interactions, doesn't it? Or some other word to describe how it looks.

>You say you don't think there's a one true way to do D/s but your posts are littered with references to an absolutist take on BDSM that classifies people's experiences with as good or bad based on your personal subjective interpretation of their stated experiences.

NO. I am NEVER passing judgment. None of it is good/bad. But some of it certainly "looks" different than others. I'm looking for language to describe the difference.

>Has it really never crossed your mind that those people might want a lot of verbal and physical abuse because that's what they consider "bright"??

Of course they want it! Of course they might consider it "bright"! But if I were sub and said to a new acquaintance "I've enjoyed being a sub for years with lots of very bright play"...it's completely not getting across the tone that I wanted to be beaten and made to cry 24x7. Of course I liked it, but I think there must be better language to describe the character of the kind of play I enjoyed in that hypothetical scenario.
 
Ok, I get you now. You're wondering if our little subculture has specific terms for certain distinctive relationship styles?

Uh, kinda?

Littles/'parents', 24/7, slave,etc. Nothing nearly as specific as outlining the finer points of the group's relationship dynamics.

-----

Nitpicking here, but I really don't think I misunderstood too much (The cruel part yeah, sorry about that). If you don't want to sound like you're overtly passing judgement you should probably refrain from using generally loaded terms like bright and dark...
 
cookiecat said:
Conversation is good but I don't understand what your main thought is? Are you simply looking for adjectives???
Click to expand...

Pretty much, yes.

>Are you writing a paper?

No. Just looking for more ways to describe desired types of play and desired types of relationships, when I'm talking to subs.

>I've been involved in real time bdsm for about 12 years and I don't know any submissives who want constant verbal and physical abuse or brought to tears regularly.

The sub I'm Skyping with regularly (she lives about an hour away) has described her past relationships and her desires in a next one. She's pretty concerned to repeatedly make sure I clearly understand that she wants "an abusive man", that she wants 24x7, that she should be degraded often, hit often, made to cry regularly. She knows that can't really be done in public, but she wishes it could be. She'd prefer to move to a rural area, or perhaps a 3rd World country, where it could be done in public. It's how she grew up in rural China.
 
jamsn said:
No. You have completely misunderstood virtually everything I wrote. And I'd tried to explicitly say that #1 isn't unhappy. Obviously everyone is doing what they're doing because they want to, because it fulfills them, because it serves their goal of happiness.

All I'm looking for is general language to differentiate between, say, a sub that wants constant abuse and be made to cry 24x7 (ok, it won't be ALL the time, but they want it regularly, at any time), vs a sub that enjoys a relationship that would actually look pretty vanilla most of the time.

>Off-the-bat assuming that the play is necessarily cruel.

No! It's because cookiecat called their play "cruel", and him "cruel", and that she enjoyed play that way.

>I'm sure that not many people would engage in 'cruel play' if they didn't find it fulfilling or desirable in some way.

Yes, of course! That's why I said "I assume you'd call it fulfilling". Obviously she's doing it because she likes it.

>I assume I'm understanding that right, you're asking if he was more pleasant to interact with when not playing? Like the play somehow must detract from his overall niceness?

No, not at all. It's because the "look" of their "cruel" play looks very different from the "look" of 2 people making each other laugh. And I'm looking for language to describe that difference. Like dark/somber vs bright/light/harmonious. Or whatever.

>Assuming both parties don't mutually enjoy the punishment?

<sigh> Of course they do! That's why they're doing it! But it certainly "looks" darker than other kinds of interactions, doesn't it? Or some other word to describe how it looks.

>You say you don't think there's a one true way to do D/s but your posts are littered with references to an absolutist take on BDSM that classifies people's experiences with as good or bad based on your personal subjective interpretation of their stated experiences.

NO. I am NEVER passing judgment. None of it is good/bad. But some of it certainly "looks" different than others. I'm looking for language to describe the difference.

>Has it really never crossed your mind that those people might want a lot of verbal and physical abuse because that's what they consider "bright"??

Of course they want it! Of course they might consider it "bright"! But if I were sub and said to a new acquaintance "I've enjoyed being a sub for years with lots of very bright play"...it's completely not getting across the tone that I wanted to be beaten and made to cry 24x7. Of course I liked it, but I think there must be better language to describe the character of the kind of play I enjoyed in that hypothetical scenario.
Click to expand...

Isn't wanting to be beaten all the time masochism ... which seems to be what it says on the tin. Maybe the language you're looking for is right there. (Or is mascochism more specific to enjoying the pain, rather than the punishment aspect?)
 
Consilience said:
Ok, I get you now. You're wondering if our little subculture has specific terms for certain distinctive relationship styles? Uh, kinda? Littles/'parents', 24/7, slave,etc. Nothing nearly as specific as outlining the finer points of the group's relationship dynamics....
Click to expand...

We sort of have some finer points...if someone says they just want all the D/s to be funishment, that tells you something about the tone of the play (or relationship) that they want.

And of course if someone says they want to be kept in a cage in the basement most of the time with a gag on, and tied and hooded, that tells you something about tone. And if they want to be in that cage for many of the waking hours that you're together...that's telling you something about their desired relationship (as opposed to them saying "one evening a week I want to be caged"...and the rest of the time things look less...dark?)

I'm just looking for more general adjectives.

Because when the desired play is...extreme-ish? (tied/hooded in a cage)...the tone of that seems kind of clear. But when the play (or relationship) description initially is more vague (gives obedience, accepts punishment)...it seems like, before getting into laborious specifics...that there ought to be some useful adjectives to characterize the tone of play (or a relationship).
 
Consilience said:
If you don't want to sound like you're overtly passing judgement you should probably refrain from using generally loaded terms like bright and dark...
Click to expand...
LOL, that's why I made this thread! :p Looking for better language! :p
 
KimGordon67 said:
Isn't wanting to be beaten all the time masochism ... which seems to be what it says on the tin. Maybe the language you're looking for is right there. (Or is mascochism more specific to enjoying the pain, rather than the punishment aspect?)
Click to expand...

I always thought the general interpretation of masochism was physical pain.

If the sub wants to be...verbally degraded or scolded a lot...isolated a lot...or whatever...well, it is psychological pain...but I think if I called that masochism, most people would be confused and misunderstand.
 
I'd call it masochism. But if it's for communicating with her, does it matter what language you use? Surely if you getting into/in a relationship with her, you'd need to spend more than two sentences establishing this sort of thing. Using labels or 'euphemisms' seems a little risky in case you're not both thinking of the same thing when you use those imprecise terms.

jamsn said:
I always thought the general interpretation of masochism was physical pain.

If the sub wants to be...verbally degraded or scolded a lot...isolated a lot...or whatever...well, it is psychological pain...but I think if I called that masochism, most people would be confused and misunderstand.
Click to expand...
 
jamsn said:
Pretty much, yes.

>Are you writing a paper?

No. Just looking for more ways to describe desired types of play and desired types of relationships, when I'm talking to subs.

>I've been involved in real time bdsm for about 12 years and I don't know any submissives who want constant verbal and physical abuse or brought to tears regularly.

The sub I'm Skyping with regularly (she lives about an hour away) has described her past relationships and her desires in a next one. She's pretty concerned to repeatedly make sure I clearly understand that she wants "an abusive man", that she wants 24x7, that she should be degraded often, hit often, made to cry regularly. She knows that can't really be done in public, but she wishes it could be. She'd prefer to move to a rural area, or perhaps a 3rd World country, where it could be done in public. It's how she grew up in rural China.
Click to expand...

You're over complicating something that's really simple.

In the specific example you gave above, she's pretty clear about what she wants. Does it matter if it's light, bright or whatever???

I'm curious - are you meeting this woman? Is this a person you'd "enjoy" (is that the right word? :rolleyes: ) being in a relationship with???

I don't know. I have this amazing fantasy where I want to lead an anal-only life. Never have my pussy used again. I've talked to guys about it as if it's really truly something I want to do. Lock up my pussy, learn to cum from anal, call my asshole a cunt, yada yada. I say, yes! It's true! I really truly want this and I think about it all the time. When I'm typing behind a computer, of course it's really truly the exact thing I want. And then I cum and I realize I like my pussy wayyyy too much.

Maybe that's not even the point. Perhaps your skype girl is truthful about the kind of life she wants. Do YOU guys talk about anything else? Music? Movies? Books?
 
jamsn said:
We sort of have some finer points...if someone says they just want all the D/s to be funishment, that tells you something about the tone of the play (or relationship) that they want.

And of course if someone says they want to be kept in a cage in the basement most of the time with a gag on, and tied and hooded, that tells you something about tone. And if they want to be in that cage for many of the waking hours that you're together...that's telling you something about their desired relationship (as opposed to them saying "one evening a week I want to be caged"...and the rest of the time things look less...dark?)

I'm just looking for more general adjectives.

Because when the desired play is...extreme-ish? (tied/hooded in a cage)...the tone of that seems kind of clear. But when the play (or relationship) description initially is more vague (gives obedience, accepts punishment)...it seems like, before getting into laborious specifics...that there ought to be some useful adjectives to characterize the tone of play (or a relationship).
Click to expand...


I go back to this is getting way too complicated. What you call laborious specifics is just a conversation.
 
cookiecat said:
In the specific example you gave above, she's pretty clear about what she wants. Does it matter if it's light, bright or whatever???
Click to expand...
Yes, there is no need for new language when talking with this particular woman. And no, while I might meet her, we're not a match, but she's interesting to talk to. And to hear of her past relationships.

The specific thing that kicked-off this question is another new acquaintance...she doesn't seem to want to get specific yet...it feels a little early for that anyway...but she's not great at expressing herself so far. And it just seems like there ought to be language for describing desires in a general way. Perhaps it's just the difference between, someone self-describing as punishment-enjoying vs. not.
 
jamsn said:
Yes, there is no need for new language when talking with this particular woman. And no, while I might meet her, we're not a match, but she's interesting to talk to. And to hear of her past relationships.

The specific thing that kicked-off this question is another new acquaintance...she doesn't seem to want to get specific yet...it feels a little early for that anyway...but she's not great at expressing herself so far. And it just seems like there ought to be language for describing desires in a general way. Perhaps it's just the difference between, someone self-describing as punishment-enjoying vs. not.
Click to expand...

Personally, I find the 'why' so much more interesting than the 'what' ... well, maybe not the 'why', but the result. When my BF does some new thing, finds some new way of being in control of things, I'm always so hungry to know how it makes him feel when he does that. I think if you can get to that, working out the 'what' becomes easier.
 
jamsn said:
Yes, there is no need for new language when talking with this particular woman. And no, while I might meet her, we're not a match, but she's interesting to talk to. And to hear of her past relationships.

The specific thing that kicked-off this question is another new acquaintance...she doesn't seem to want to get specific yet...it feels a little early for that anyway...but she's not great at expressing herself so far. And it just seems like there ought to be language for describing desires in a general way. Perhaps it's just the difference between, someone self-describing as punishment-enjoying vs. not.
Click to expand...
I suppose they're both fully aware that you're only interested in them as an intellectual curiosity and not interested in romancing them?
 
Consilience said:
I suppose they're both fully aware that you're only interested in them as an intellectual curiosity and not interested in romancing them?
Click to expand...

Your reply again seems to come from a position of antagonism, and negative assumptions of me. And I AM potentially interested in romancing the one that motivated my post here (have to talk to her more to know).
 
I think this is an interesting question that seems to get shot down for no good reason. We are talking about associations and metaphores here.

If I asked, which color would you associate with "angry", I'm quite sure that I won't see an even distribution of colors as answers. I could describe my physique with odors as "musk" and it would generate a completely different image than "ethereal", even though the way I actually smell might have nothing to do with it. Just because those things are nowhere officially written down, it doesn't mean it won't work in a conversation.

The adjectives that come to my mind regarding the two examples are:
tense vs. compliant
 
Primalex said:
I think this is an interesting question that seems to get shot down for no good reason. We are talking about associations and metaphores here.

If I asked, which color would you associate with "angry", I'm quite sure that I won't see an even distribution of colors as answers. I could describe my physique with odors as "musk" and it would generate a completely different image than "ethereal", even though the way I actually smell might have nothing to do with it. Just because those things are nowhere officially written down, it doesn't mean it won't work in a conversation.

The adjectives that come to my mind regarding the two examples are:
tense vs. compliant
Click to expand...

After only 24 posts, someone tries to answer the question! Amazing!
My two cents regarding your examples, jamsn: Combative vs cooperative.
Obviously none of these labels provides complete or exclusive descriptions, but I think the point is to suggest the flavor of the relationship, not describe it in exhaustive detail. And, really, a lot of things can be described pretty clearly as a set of scalar or even binary variables, even if none of the variables is satisfyingly precise. Psychometrics, personality indexes, and similar things generally function this way.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

InCNCestBangPie
Sub and Switch Ladies: How Do You Feel About a Dom Who Doesn't Want To Try Submission?
2
Replies
34
Views
1K
cocktaildress21
C
K
BDSM & Autism Part 1
Replies
2
Views
442
Blase
B
K
BDSM & Autism: Part 3
Replies
4
Views
363
goldytheGoldfish
goldytheGoldfish
K
BDSM and Autism: Part 2
Replies
2
Views
344
LustyScribe
LustyScribe
P
As a masochist, what do you get out of hard extreme SM?
2
Replies
26
Views
3K
fma20fma
fma20fma
Back
Top