SecondCircle
Sin Cara
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2012
- Posts
- 1,410
Thanks. I do understand that you don't get what I'm saying about gay males of the macho end of the scale not being women with penises (and it's fine if you can't get it). Leaving a feeling of distance and "cold" in the reader's mind is precisely correct, I think, for most of the men I was writing about in "Harmony and Dissonance." Gay male attitudes at that end are distant, narcissistic, reserved--cold, in the eyes of emotion-driven people. Real GMs at that end of the spectrum are concentrated on their cocks and getting them hard and off--based on whatever fetish they have. Their motivations are to get it off with desirable A and move on to getting it off with even more desirable B, within the context of what gives them the maximum personal satisfaction--usually without much regard to whether the other party is getting enough satisfaction too. If the other guy wants more, that will be the sign he was satisfied. Whether Alpha One gives him more is based on what Alpha One wants.
Sorry, but I think that's authentic depiction of the lifestyle in that construct.
Lars wants to please Heinrich for some reason of his own. It isn't made clear whether it's for money or some sort of other reward. It isn't likely for affection, as Lars and Heinrich will both be self-centered Alpha Ones. Beyond getting Krit back to Heinrich however he can, he's all for serving his fetish. He fucks Amnad, Krit, and Somsri to fulfill his mission. He gets more fetish satisfaction in fucking the transvestite and the various servants complying to his needs. Amnad isn't enough for him; he immediately goes out to find blood sport and a fetish lay. Krit isn't enough for him in the boat storage area; he grabs a servant or two after Krit leaves. Somsri is just a means to an end.
Amnad's just delighted that he's found an Alpha One who knows exotic sexual positions and will at least pretend to give him what he wants in the context he wants it. If Lars gave him what really turns Lars on, that's an entirely different story, which could bring a change in Amnad in one way or another. In real life, he's likely to feel raped.
So, both of these--and the transvestite and servants--are, yes, doing the "cold" thing in sex. That's what these types do. I'm not a female author trying to make a GM into the perfect domestic partner.
It's Krit who is torn between two worlds and isn't cold about any of this. If Krit has come across as cold in this story, that's where I have failed to be authentic. If the others have come across detached and "cold," then what you are reading is a real GM story told by a real GM author targeted to a real GM audience. The targeted audiences reading this realm of GM will be looking for hot connections they can fantasize about in terms of their own narcissism. They won't be looking for an apron and a duster and a kissy face when the husband arrives at the door after work.
You are looking, I think, for something that wouldn't be an authentic story in this genre--while not catching the thread inside it that is emotion and internal-struggle based. Krit doesn't really want to be gay; he wants to substitute music for sex--he'd prefer to be sexless--but he can't, at least now. He is struggling with, but being overpowered by, the need to be dominated by an Alpha One. That's the whole reason he isn't in Germany with Heinrich now.
So, I guess my frustration is that I think I'm being dinged for writing an essential element of the genre.
...You misunderstand me. I'm not talking about the elements of your story being cold. I'm talking about the way it is written. What I mean is that I can tell none of what you wrote in this quoted post from how you actually wrote the words in it. The actual writing style. I see your intent of "cold" as I say with the way things played out in the story, and even with Alpha Male mechanics being very macho and emotionally detached.
I'm... trying to put this in a way that isn't offensive or anything like that. But to me (and this is just one reader's opinion) it just read like... flat. Like Alan Rickman was reading me the events of a baseball game. Like I was simply being told what was happening in the story along the way never actually stepping in to see it for myself.
I understand what you were doing within the GM genre. And I didn't expect the lovely things from the genre, as that's kinda stereotypical to assume, I can agree with you there. That's like assuming that all girls are good and you can't find a good trashy one to go down on you just because you two were acquaintances and were in the same time. That's an example (sadly an actual one) of cold, kind of "whorish" straight sex that can still be pretty erotic.
Harmony and Dissonance was kind of a "script" to me where I usually enjoy a "painting" or "moving picture". There was a lot of telling what was happening when I wanted to be kind of in the middle of the tension that was there. And I did catch a bit of that thread inside. When I reached the end, I looked back at the title and for a few seconds I nodded like "yeah I see how all the pieces fit"
Ah, but that may just be my taste in style is all. That's why there's all walks. Different boats and all that. So don't take any offense yo anything I've said. Merely discussing the "ins and outs" if you will. The more I pry into an author's head, the more I learn everyday. Just a great opportunity for that with FAWC. I've expressed a few negative views of the story, but know that I don't hate it or anything. It shined for me in other aspects. Especially the overall theme found right in the title.
If I hated it, I just would have commented, "you sux stupid piece shit, hope you die form getting fucked you sick shit yeah real good sorry you shit fucker."
...or something like that....