lable me this, batman:

I have recently had a very long and slightly dull conversation with a Dom about what is an M/s relationship and what is a D/s relationship *yawn*

Then I met him, within three minutes I realised it was not just a one off conversation which was dull.

I made an escape soon after!!

sinnocent's definitions are pretty much accurate for me.

i identify as a "little" but it has nothing to do with wanting to be treated like a "well-disciplined child."

DeservingBitch said:

Yeah... the gender bending terminology can get confusing at times. I just go with whatever people choose to self-identify as. I'll even refer to the obnoxious straight Domly dude as Lord Master of Great Douchebagery if that's what he wants me to call him. I just add sarcasm to my tone whenever it's needed.

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Bless you!

DeservingBitch said:

I thought that grrl was for woman-identified male bodied person, CDs, or transgirl. The female equivalent of boi basically.

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I hit 20 among riot grrls all of whom had pussy. Lovely pussy....

I tend to refer to people in a dress makeup and heels as girls. All of them seem to like that so far, haven't had too many complaints. If the heels are really chunky the dress is rubber and the makeup is kind of kabuki punk, then grrl seems to fit.

The word "boi" in hebrew actually means girl.. Althought it's pronounced "Boy"

What does PYL mean?

DeservingBitch said:

even refer to the obnoxious straight Domly dude as Lord Master of Great Douchebagery if that's what he wants me to call him. I just add sarcasm to my tone whenever it's needed.

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careful with this one. A and i were talking about titles year or so ago and i mentioned that the general resonse when somebody asks "what do i call my PYL" is "whatever your PYL wants you to". he thought about this for a second, then looked at me and with a striaght face told me to call me "Oscar". the conversation continued with me giving answers like "yes, Oscar" and "no, Oscar". i couldnt do it with a serious tone of voice. he thought it was hilarious for about five minutes before it got annoying. i thought it was awful.

Nightbird said:

The word "boi" in hebrew actually means girl.. Althought it's pronounced "Boy"

What does PYL mean?

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there are a lot of things like that in hebrew. the hebrew word for she is pronouced "he" and the hebrew word for fish is pronounced "dog" fo instance.

PYL stands for Pick Your Label (Master, Mistress, Top, etc)

pyl stands for pick your label (sub, slave, pet, bottom, etc)

Thanks my Innerslut..

Primalex said:

Here we are again

As "Sadist" wasn't in the original post, I'll add my definition here:

Sadist: Someone who finds satisfaction in letting someone suffer.


(Explanation: The difference I see is that in my definition, the satisfaction comes from the reaction to the pain, not the delivering of pain itself. If you beat someone with a whip, knowing that it hurts, but there is no reaction or not a strong enough reaction which indicates that the person suffers (or worse that the person enjoys it), the sadist would not get satisfaction from it. Also pain is just one medium of letting someone suffer, other possibilities exist.)

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Yes, sadists stroke it to the thoughts that people are suffering from hunger in Africa. Yes, the idea that leper colonies exists just warms the cockles of sadists. Letting someone suffer? How blandly passive. And pain is pretty damned broad, and difficult to distinguish from suffering.

Are you just trying to cause me to suffer with more semantic wanking? I'm not gonna judge. Whatever gets you through the night, and all that.

the captians wench said:

As I've been experiencing the dating world bdsm style, I've noticed that no mater how much you avoid it, we pretty much talk in lables. So I'm curious as to how you define the different lables I have encountered.

Slave
Submissive
pet
lil girl/baby girl
bottom

top
Dom
Master
Daddy dom

Feel free to add some, these are just the most common to me.

The reason this question has come up, truely, is based on two conversations I've had recently. One guy discribed himself as a daddy dom to me, but in my encounters with him he didn't seem to fit that profile and admited that it was a lable he used because some one else put it on him. I tend to use the term "pet" to discribe myself lately, but it seems that term has some negitive (well it's negitive to me maybe not others) assosiations with it.

I'll give my deffinitions in a bit. I'm off on another date. *giggles*

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Here we go.

Slave- One who has such low self esteem that they'll give their entire life over to their "master/Mistress" so they can be free from life's responsibilities.

Submissive- One who knows they enjoy not being in charge and will relinquish that power to another. Later in life some will become known as "Tops or Doms".

Pet- One with low sense of self worth that believes themselves to be beneath a common house pet.

Lil girl/boy or Babygirl/babyboy- a "slave" who has issues about their parents.

Bottoms- See Submissives with a bit more sense to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Top- One who sees themselves as being in command. The best of which used to be known as bottoms and have realized who truely has the power and are submitting to it.

Dom/Domme- One who believes they are the top of the pecking order unless they are part of the one percent who used to be submissives and are now where all truely good submissives find themselves when they love another submissive.

Master- Someone who has read a few too many of the Gor novels.

Daddy Dom- Someone who has issues about their children or children in general who so richly deserve psychological care.

Homburg said:

Yes, sadists stroke it to the thoughts that people are suffering from hunger in Africa.

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I didn't know that sadists are the cause of hunger in Africa.

Are you just trying to cause me to suffer with more semantic wanking?

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This thread _is_ about semantic wanking. Feel free to not participate.

"
Dom/Domme- One who believes they are the top of the pecking order unless they are part of the one percent who used to be submissives and are now where all truely good submissives find themselves when they love another submissive."

Oh my God that's funny. Yeah, never doing anything for myself would be so noble. I must aspire to that, got the memo at last.

Oh yeah two addendums.

Slave- Lazy. They give up their "free will" just to get the sensations they want.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Master- An enabler to their slave.

Netzach said:

"
Dom/Domme- One who believes they are the top of the pecking order unless they are part of the one percent who used to be submissives and are now where all truely good submissives find themselves when they love another submissive."

Oh my God that's funny. Yeah, never doing anything for myself would be so noble. I must aspire to that, got the memo at last.

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It is if the one you truely love is into being a Submissive isn't it?

Wyldfire said:

It is if the one you truely love is into being a Submissive isn't it?

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I don't know if he's "into" it, he just is. It's like a tiger meeting another tiger and not an emu. He and I are just two people who expect and want sexual compatibility and satisfaction.

I don't "become" anything I don't want to, spent enough time with someone neither submissive nor Dominant and I have no interest in sexually conforming, as a slave or as a slave's fantasy wank.

Netzach said:

I hit 20 among riot grrls all of whom had pussy. Lovely pussy....

I tend to refer to people in a dress makeup and heels as girls. All of them seem to like that so far, haven't had too many complaints. If the heels are really chunky the dress is rubber and the makeup is kind of kabuki punk, then grrl seems to fit.

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Ohh noes : identity crisis :

I gave up on doing a fashion cross between Siouxsie & Miss Lauper yearsss ago.

Netzach said:

Top - I like to beat people and may or may not like to boss them around
Bottom I like to be beaten and may or may not like to be bossed around

slave - I do everything my Owner tells me to do
Master/Mistress - I have total control over one or more slaves

Dominant/submissive - "I need to come up with some theory of my innate nature to feel ok about what I need sexually" and I like to boss people around or be bossed around, but I'm not entirely OK with the beating part

Switch - like everyone else, but more honest

Leather - if you think terminology other than Top bottom and slave and MAAAYbe Master is superfluous you may be this.

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Netzach... I swear if I could get you out of that cold - ass climate I would offer to marry you...

As it is I may just kiss you!

the captians wench said:

pet

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A person who identifies in the role of an animal - i.e.: puppy boy or cat girl...
I've seen some who identify ponies as pets also, but personally I tend to think of horses/ponies as working stock and not pets.

DeservingBitch said:

Yeah... the gender bending terminology can get confusing at times. I just go with whatever people choose to self-identify as. I'll even refer to the obnoxious straight Domly dude as Lord Master of Great Douchebagery if that's what he wants me to call him. I just add sarcasm to my tone whenever it's needed.

Click to expand...

*chuckles*

Or as we learned in the military...

The word that is spoken and heard aloud as "sir" can in fact, be spelled "cur", "dick" or "asshole".
And "ma'am" can be spelled "bitch" or "cunt"

*LOL*

Here goes:
**these definitions are what it means to me**

Slave = the one who would have no say in decision-making, might give her/his wishes, ideas, etc to the PYL, but is not involved in the decision-making or is taking part in the discussion. Have no or limited hard limits. Might be associated to a 24/7 or a TAPE relationship.

Submissive = the one who will be involved in some way in the dissuasion and in the decision-making but the final decisions will be with the PYL. Might be in 24/7 or a D/s relationship. Will have some hard limits and soft limits.

pet = a term decided by the PYL in a relationship - whether it be a D/s or a M/s relationship

lil girl/baby girl = the one who might be treated like a little girl in a D/g relationship, might be cherished and looked after. Maybe no pain inflicted for the pleasure.

bottom = a submissive who is bottoming in a play scene, and might be not in a long-term relationship with a PYL - more likely to be a bottom mostly in play scenes, not further than that.

__________________________________________

top = a Dom/me who is Topping in a play scene *see the bottom's definition*

Dom(me) = a Dom(me) who is in a D/s with a submissive, will make final decisions, based on the negations and will listen to the sub missive's needs and wants, will include the sub in the discussions and decision-making. Worries about romance and how to keep it alive.

Master / mistress = takes control of a slave, gives commands, and do what they want at any time, with consideration for a few hard limits, but will push limits as far as they want.

Daddy dom = the one who takes care of their little girl; looks after her; might treat her like a child.

______________________________________________________

I usually describe myself as a "spanking bottom" which means that I am a Switch who happens to be a bottom in a play scene with a PYL and the one who loves to be spanked and flogged!

Pain slut = the one who loves pain in any way!

Wyldfire said:

Slave- Lazy. They give up their "free will" just to get the sensations they want.

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OK, fuck it, I'll bite.

I have free will that I exercised when I chose to become a slave. Yes, it satisfies a deep need in me but I am service oriented, not lazy. We have different roles but we are a team. I don't make the decisions but I pull my weight. Responsibility for wellbeing of the relationship and of us as individuals remains equally distributed.

Watch me get up half an hour before Master does, tidy up, make his breakfast and run him a bath, check that he has everything he needs for his day, including a blow job. Then look me in the eye and call me lazy.

Okay, here are the definitions these words trigger in my mind:

Slave: someone who surrenders all control to a Master. The slave gains satisfaction from serving the Master and doing what is instructed by the Master. There are very few limits as to what the slave will do for the Master. The slave is essentially the property of the Master.

Submissive: someone who likes to give control of a relationship to the other partner, normally a Dom, and do as the Dom says. The submissive still retains some limits and individual decision-making, but the Dom is still the one really in control.

Pet: very similar to a family pet, like a dog or cat. The pet is a submissive who is seen as (and I'm taking this from what's already been posted, since it fit so well) the cherished possession of the Owner (or Dom, Master, etc.). The pet is a play toy who looks up to the Master and obeys him and his suggestions or orders. Some play may or may not involve acting like an actual pet (a cat or dog, most commonly). The Master is in charge of the pet's care and well-being.

Little girl/Baby girl: a submissive who likes having a strong male figure, similar to a father-figure, as the Dom. The Dom cares for, looks after, and guides the little girl or baby girl in a manner similar to a daughter.

Bottom: anyone regardless of normal affiliation who chooses to submit during a scene or play. In the S&M sense, the person receiving the pain issued from the Top. Does not necessarily have to be a submissive.

Top: anyone who takes the lead during a scene and "runs the show". During S&M play, the person who inflicts pain on the bottom. Does not necessarily have to be a Dominant.

Dom: someone who takes the lead and is more in control of the relationship (whatever type of relationship it may be). The Dom tends to be the initiator and takes some control over the submissive. Works with the submissive to define lines of what is acceptable and what is not in play, and gives the submissive a way to let the Dom know when it has become too much.

Master: a Dom who has more control over a sub, normally either a slave or pet. The Master cares for the slave or pet, and is responsible for them.

Daddy Dom: a Dom who is very loving and gentle in the style of control or leading. The term can apply for the Dom of either a pet or little girl/baby girl, though the pet will probably not use the term, but more the style of dominance. The Daddy Dom uses a gentle, yet firm hand to guide the sub.

Netzach said:

Switch - like everyone else, but more honest

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Wait, are you saying people who do not ID as switches are not honest about their desires? I'm throwing a huge BS flag on that.

Where is OSG when you need her?

VelvetDarkness said:

Watch me get up half an hour before Master does, tidy up, make his breakfast and run him a bath, check that he has everything he needs for his day, including a blow job.

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40 years ago this wasn't called "slave" but "wife".


Sorry, couldn't resist.

Primalex said:

40 years ago this wasn't called "slave" but "wife".


Sorry, couldn't resist.

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40 yrs ago? I would say in many cases it is still true. I am certainly not a slave to my husband but I do everything, and I mean everything except be the primary wage earner in our family.