Learned or Born?

[Algos_Idoni]

Are kinks, and perhaps then orientation, learned or "born"?

It seems to me that my " kinks" have surfaced more from what I read and experience then a natural "born this way" concept. If they are more "learned", then why don't we embrace it as such?

Why does it seem the need to express the " born this way" mantra?

Is there fear that if it is a learned condition, then it could be unlearned?

Seems to me there would be more freedom in the idea of it being learned, than born.

 

[Primalex]

Are kinks, and perhaps then orientation, learned or "born"?

Humanity does not know the answer yet.

Is there fear that if it is a learned condition, then it could be unlearned?

If it's learned, what does this say about the parents of a rapist?

 

[MasterGrimoir]

The boring truth is probably that you are born pre-disposed to certain sexual behaviours and then, left to your own devices and given the opportunity, you follow your pre-dispositions unless of course the collective mores of society persuade you to do otherwise. So I vote for a mixture of both.

 

[Algos_Idoni]

If it's learned, what does this say about the parents of a rapist?

I am not sure it really says anything. There is more to learning than just from parents.

 

[kittiGoddess]

As a submissive, i feel that this is inherently part of me the way I am made up, EXposure to the right person(or wrong) person, a dominant brought it to the surface. I think your born with the basic needs but learn to e press them and fulfill them as you progress through life.

 

[Andsexissex]

Learned I suspect. But then, I'm submissive like my mother and dominant like my father. I vasilate between the two.

 

[Primalex]

I am not sure it really says anything. There is more to learning than just from parents.

When nobody is responsible for what a child learns, then why care whether it is learned or not?

 

[SpunThings]

I suspect I was born predisposed to respond the way that I do to the things we do, and drawn to these things. In another culture maybe that would have manifested itself in other ways.

 

[Everyday_Man]

When nobody is responsible for what a child learns, then why care whether it is learned or not?

You're twisting his words to an extreme point and trying to have conversations with someone who does that is a waste of time.

He never said no one was responsible for what a child learns, it's almost as if you had your next sentence ready and be damned what was actually said.

Why not write out all your opinions instead of waiting for someone to reply to? (That's rhetorical, I have no intention of staying around to talk more).

 

[tristantrotsky]

Submit To My Master...

I'm a natural-born cock-sucker, cum-slut, blow-job whore. It's not a choice I deliberately make or a role I consciously play. I'm genetically programmed that way. It's what I was born to do. My so-called relationships just tend to develop that way and fall into place with me on my knees with a big beautiful cock on my mouth, and an older more dominant guy to fuck my throat and control my sexuality. I feel warm and safe, and completely satisfied while I'm involved and doing it. When I'm crouching down to orally service my Boyfriend's impressive erection - to be honest, logic and reason are seldom uppermost in my mind at such lubricious moments, as I'm sure you can appreciate. I'm certainly enjoying sucking-off my current Boyfriend. My only pain and anxiety is when we're apart, and I get into thinking all the bad stuff about how I can keep him. I'd love to suck him off more if the opportunity was there, the spermy rewards are wonderful….

 

[Primalex]

I'm a natural-born cock-sucker, cum-slut, blow-job whore.

How comes your only conversational ability is to tell people how much you like to cock suck?

If someone would ask you:"What's your favorite color?" your answer would be:
"It's green, I realized this while I was sucking the cock of my neighbor."


Is this some kind of mental problem?
Is your fetish actually talking about sucking cock rather than doing it?

 

[tristantrotsky]

How comes your only conversational ability is to tell people how much you like to cock suck?

If someone would ask you:"What's your favorite color?" your answer would be:
"It's green, I realized this while I was sucking the cock of my neighbor."


Is this some kind of mental problem?
Is your fetish actually talking about sucking cock rather than doing it?

Nicely observed piece of psychology here, Primalex. I love your style. Like everyone else on this site, I have dimensions. But, excuse me for stating the obvious, this is 'Literotica', this is 'BDSM Talk', we are supposed to talk about our sex-lives here, and those aspects of our sex-lives to which we most relate…
When I talk about colors I go to a chromatic website and check out Jackson Pollack...

 

[Primalex]

Nicely observed piece of psychology here, Primalex. I love your style. Like everyone else on this site, I have dimensions. But, excuse me for stating the obvious, this is 'Literotica', this is 'BDSM Talk', we are supposed to talk about our sex-lives here, and those aspects of our sex-lives to which we most relate…

Then you are doing it wrong.


To the question:"Are submissives more vulnerable?" you answer:"I love to suck cock."

To the question:"What do you call your Dom/sub?" you answer:"I love to suck cock."

To the question:"First time bottom. Tips?" you answer:"I love to suck cock."

To the question:"Has anyone called you a Queer?" you answer:"I love to suck cock."

To the question:"How many of you like being a Voyeur?" you answer:"I love to suck cock."

To the topic:"High heels" you answer:"I love to suck cock."

To the topic:"Married men" you answer:"I love to suck cock."



Excuse me for stating the obvious, threads have different topics, even on Literotica. Just not for you. And that's behavior I only see from gay/bi male bitches. I've never seen anyone else go:"Yeah, I love pussy, yeah" or "Yeah, I love a hard dick in my cunt, yeah" in every fucking thread that is completely unrelated to hard dicks or cunts. You take a topic (any topic) and use it as excuse to spam about your cock sucking.

 

[tristantrotsky]

Then you are doing it wrong.


To the question:"Are submissives more vulnerable?" you answer:"I love to suck cock."

To the question:"What do you call your Dom/sub?" you answer:"I love to suck cock."

To the question:"First time bottom. Tips?" you answer:"I love to suck cock."

To the question:"Has anyone called you a Queer?" you answer:"I love to suck cock."

To the question:"How many of you like being a Voyeur?" you answer:"I love to suck cock."

To the topic:"High heels" you answer:"I love to suck cock."

To the topic:"Married men" you answer:"I love to suck cock."



Excuse me for stating the obvious, threads have different topics, even on Literotica. Just not for you. And that's behavior I only see from gay/bi male bitches. I've never seen anyone else go:"Yeah, I love pussy, yeah" or "Yeah, I love a hard dick in my cunt, yeah" in every fucking thread that is completely unrelated to hard dicks or cunts. You take a topic (any topic) and use it as excuse to spam about your cock sucking.

I get the serious suspicion someone's been trolling me…! I get a sneaking sense of prissy moral disapproval. You don't like my posts, don't read them. The response I get assures me that many other's do like them. And like them a lot. So yes, I write - check out my story selection on 'Literotica', which means that I analyze and subject my emotional and erotic feelings to a degree of scrutiny. Some might term that obsessional, but it's not unconsidered or lacking in self-awareness. You'd prefer maybe I lick some pussy, tease some clit with my tongue…? That might be nice too, Primalex, we should maybe work something out…? My Love & Respect To You...

 

[greengamegirl]

Are kinks, and perhaps then orientation, learned or "born"?

It seems to me that my " kinks" have surfaced more from what I read and experience then a natural "born this way" concept. If they are more "learned", then why don't we embrace it as such?

Why does it seem the need to express the " born this way" mantra?

Is there fear that if it is a learned condition, then it could be unlearned?

Seems to me there would be more freedom in the idea of it being learned, than born.

It may depend on what someone wants to believe about the person who has the kink.

If someone believes people with a certain kink are disgusting, they wouldn't want to believe the person was born with the kink because it would make it seem like the person wasn't responsible.

However, if someone believes people with a certain kink are perfectly normal, they are more likely to believe the individual was born with the kink than someone who believes the person is abnormal.

For example, people who think people with a scat fetish are disgusting probably wouldn't want to believe someone is born with that fetish.


Alternatively, people who think bondage is normal are more likely to believe someone could be born with that kink than someone who finds it disturbing.

Also, some people don't share kinks with their parents or other people in their family. It's more likely they were learned but it is possible that certain kinks people could be born with. Either way, statistical data or a study could help confirm a theory (but it won't convince certain people).

 

[All_4_Love]

I get the serious suspicion someone's been trolling me…! I get a sneaking sense of prissy moral disapproval. You don't like my posts, don't read them. The response I get assures me that many other's do like them. And like them a lot. So yes, I write - check out my story selection on 'Literotica', which means that I analyze and subject my emotional and erotic feelings to a degree of scrutiny. Some might term that obsessional, but it's not unconsidered or lacking in self-awareness. You'd prefer maybe I lick some pussy, tease some clit with my tongue…? That might be nice too, Primalex, we should maybe work something out…? My Love & Respect To You...

You are most certainly.lacking in self awareness, Tristantrotsky.

 

[leashedbottom]

i think it may be more than anything a mixed combination of the two in varying degrees for each individual. The 'born' part is our natural disposition, our base personality and the 'learned' part comes in to play as we develop and are exposed to certain stimuli. Our brains take in everything around us on a conscious and subconscious level and if a certain experience, whatever it may be happens at the right time it can take root and begin to develop as a integral part of our essence. i think if we all look back with scrutiny we can find a defining moment or series of moments that explains a behavior we have now. As our brains form there are peaks and valleys in what they retain, if a certain stimulus occurs at the right time, it gets locked into our brain and becomes over time a part of our thought processes.
i have thought on this subject, from an obvious personal aspect, and wondered if my present personality was inevitable because of the number of events and experiences that seem to correspond with me becoming who i am... i can remember amazingly far back into my childhood, to at least 2 years old when my younger sister was born, remembering details to that proof, and have seen a pattern that i could say led me to who i am.
i have always had a somewhat shy, passive disposition as what i believe to be my base, and then had events and exposures to certain stimuli that built on it... i think that there may be some evidence that out core personality determines in with what stimuli affects, at least to what degree it plays... This explains why not all mean kids become serial killers, they are predisposed towards it but didn't receive the right stimuli at the right time to become a Dahmer... It's a complex question with a complex answer.
Oh... and i suck cock

 

[tristantrotsky]

A Message To Pretty...

You are most certainly.lacking in self awareness, Tristantrotsky.

Of all qualities, certainty is the one most lacking in self-awareness, All-4-Love. Certainty is the hobgoblin of small minds. All is flux, all is fiction… especially in this place. You don't know me. You know nothing about me. Why waste a post with dull negativity when there are sweet sweet games to play…? C'mon, loosen up… at least talk to me before you judge me...

 

[All_4_Love]

Of all qualities, certainty is the one most lacking in self-awareness, All-4-Love. Certainty is the hobgoblin of small minds. All is flux, all is fiction… especially in this place. You don't know me. You know nothing about me. Why waste a post with dull negativity when there are sweet sweet games to play…? C'mon, loosen up… at least talk to me before you judge me...

I disagree, Tristan. For me, there is much certainty in knowing oneself.

And I have spoken to you before. I remember it quite well. I've been around this place a while. It's a good thing I only waste a post every now and again on dull negativity. I normally try to stay within the realm of magnificent cocksucking and how much I enjoy it.

 

[tristantrotsky]

I disagree, Tristan. For me, there is much certainty in knowing oneself.

And I have spoken to you before. I remember it quite well. I've been around this place a while. It's a good thing I only waste a post every now and again on dull negativity. I normally try to stay within the realm of magnificent cocksucking and how much I enjoy it.

So I don't really know why we're wasting time arguing... The question of identity and self-awareness is one for the philosophy department to wrangle over, and ultimately consciousness is the temporary result of electrons sparking across synapses anyway. Beyond our comprehension. While 'Literotica' is a place for the libido to run free without petty censure. So let's just enjoy each others body and minds in whatever way we can for as long as we can… pax… and sweet erotic kisses to you...

 

[All_4_Love]

Oh! Well then, thank you for the kisses, Tristan...all across my filthy mouth.

 

[tristantrotsky]

Oh! Well then, thank you for the kisses, Tristan...all across my filthy mouth.

Thanks. Love your profile photo. Is that really you…?

 

[All_4_Love]

Thanks. Love your profile photo. Is that really you…?

Yes, the picture is quite beautiful. No, its not me. It could be but my hair is much longer. And I have never been fortunate enough to be in submission the way that she is.

I'm going to stop chit chatting now. We are derailing the thread. Take care.

 

[thelaughingcat]

The boring truth is probably that you are born pre-disposed to certain sexual behaviours and then, left to your own devices and given the opportunity, you follow your pre-dispositions unless of course the collective mores of society persuade you to do otherwise. So I vote for a mixture of both.

What he said.

 

[sweetharlot]

i think it may be more than anything a mixed combination of the two in varying degrees for each individual. The 'born' part is our natural disposition, our base personality and the 'learned' part comes in to play as we develop and are exposed to certain stimuli. Our brains take in everything around us on a conscious and subconscious level and if a certain experience, whatever it may be happens at the right time it can take root and begin to develop as a integral part of our essence. i think if we all look back with scrutiny we can find a defining moment or series of moments that explains a behavior we have now. As our brains form there are peaks and valleys in what they retain, if a certain stimulus occurs at the right time, it gets locked into our brain and becomes over time a part of our thought processes.
i have thought on this subject, from an obvious personal aspect, and wondered if my present personality was inevitable because of the number of events and experiences that seem to correspond with me becoming who i am... i can remember amazingly far back into my childhood, to at least 2 years old when my younger sister was born, remembering details to that proof, and have seen a pattern that i could say led me to who i am.
i have always had a somewhat shy, passive disposition as what i believe to be my base, and then had events and exposures to certain stimuli that built on it... i think that there may be some evidence that out core personality determines in with what stimuli affects, at least to what degree it plays... This explains why not all mean kids become serial killers, they are predisposed towards it but didn't receive the right stimuli at the right time to become a Dahmer... It's a complex question with a complex answer.
Oh... and i suck cock

I agree with this line of thinking. We're born with different temperaments and develop traits like openness to experience which make us a little more willing to try things than others. I don't think that our fetishes are congenital though. One can be born a little anxious and develop the desire to please but I'm not sure why that develops into being sexually submissive. I would guess that fetishes and variations in sexuality differ across cultures. These things being learned doesn't make them any less real or integral to who we are as individuals.