An Illustrated Guide to Frisky Euphemisms

[Serafina1210]

When it comes to pussies, guys have a tendency to deposit rather than remove stuff. You never read something like this in a story:

"He came hard and felt his balls fill up as his cock sucked her pussy dry."

Despite Mother Superior's vigilance, I have a little knowledge of what cocks do to pussies. I had this strange what-if moment, though, involving a vacuum pump ...

 

[StrangeLife]

Despite Mother Superior's vigilance, I have a little knowledge of what cocks do to pussies. I had this strange what-if moment, though, involving a vacuum pump ...

Maybe somebody will test out your idea. In that case please let us know how it worked...

 

[Serafina1210]

Maybe somebody will test out your idea. In that case please let us know how it worked...

Hmm. She looks ... deflated. Better stick with the old familiars.

 

[Handley_Page]

Damned good;
it's the first Lit - special cartoon I've seen

 

[Vanadorn]

Laughing my fucking ass off over here. Thanks!

-V

 

[StrangeLife]

Perfect Wife, Perfect Maid

Dinsmore (c)


"You are the first woman I've ever met who gets off on doing ATM; when you work that stiff little tongue of yours up my ass it drives me nuts!."



No matter how outlandish a given act may be, there is always somebody who gets off doing it...

 

[StrangeLife]

Here's Where the Fun Begins

HarryHaversackers (c)


"I started to come, shaking and jerking on Larry's cock, like a marionette with palsy."



This guy has got some serious wood.

 

[StrangeLife]

Our First Internet Couple

SusieH (c)


"He shook his ass and twirled his cock in her pussy."



Baton twirling isn't just for girls y'know.

 

[StrangeLife]

Badge of Betrayal

soldierboy50401 (c)


"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I moaned as I finally released a massive load."

 

[StrangeLife]

Julie My Wife

Mike2012 (c)


"I could see Julie's jaw and neck muscles move as she tried to swallow his cream."



Yeah, swallow that cream baby...

 

[StrangeLife]

What a Deal! Ch. 19

deadeye_76 (c)


"I want you to eat my cream pie."



Eat it again Sam...

 

[AZMotherLover]

Threads like this make it difficult to take porn seriously.

"I started to come, shaking and jerking on Larry's cock, like a marionette with palsy."

That's classic!!

 

[NaokoSmith]

Julie My Wife

Mike2012 (c)


"I could see Julie's jaw and neck muscles move as she tried to swallow his cream."



Yeah, swallow that cream baby...

Isn't that how you are supposed to moisturise?


This thread is really helping/ruining me as an editor. When I come across phrases which have a double entendre like these (not that I mean anything by 'come across'!), I pick them out much more quickly ... then I urge the author to leave them in while I consider posting StrangeLife a link to the story!

 

[Hypoxia]

I'm waiting for someone to illustrate my line, "He spasm'd like a butt-fucked warthog."

 

[StrangeLife]

I'm waiting for someone to illustrate my line, "He spasm'd like a butt-fucked warthog."

Your wait is over...

 

[Sammael Bard]

I think you'll have a hayday with 'My Education' series in Mature category.

A fan of that story asked me to review it and I found some pretty good ones -

"I felt my cock explode..."

"Her eyes were on fire."

Interested?

 

[StrangeLife]

A Guide to Great Anal Sex Pt. 03

celesteandjim (c)


"The French have practiced frottage for centuries."



It's a good idea to speak clearly when ordering cheese in a French restaurant.

 

[StrangeLife]

I think you'll have a hayday with 'My Education' series in Mature category.

A fan of that story asked me to review it and I found some pretty good ones -

"I felt my cock explode..."

"Her eyes were on fire."

Interested?

Thanks for the tip. I will definitely check it out...

 

[Serafina1210]

I think you'll have a hayday with 'My Education' series in Mature category.

A fan of that story asked me to review it and I found some pretty good ones -

"I felt my cock explode..."

"Her eyes were on fire."

Interested?

On the other hand, exploding cocks are pretty standard, and fiery eyes have been a staple of erotica since the Middle Ages at least. I love the ones where an author was striving for a beautiful effect or for super hotness, but ended up stepping on a rake. (Shouldn't talk, probably done that myself.)

 

[StrangeLife]

On the other hand, exploding cocks are pretty standard, and fiery eyes have been a staple of erotica since the Middle Ages at least. I love the ones where an author was striving for a beautiful effect or for super hotness, but ended up stepping on a rake. (Shouldn't talk, probably done that myself.)

Yeah, Lit is almost a minefield of exploding genitalia. Seemingly good old fashion pulsing and throbbing don't quite cut it anymore. Maybe it's time we focus more on the eyes...

 

[Serafina1210]

Yeah, Lit is almost a minefield of exploding genitalia. Seemingly good old fashion pulsing and throbbing don't quite cut it anymore. Maybe it's time we focus more on the eyes...

Exploding eyes? Fireworks? Hmm. (She hurries off towards her computer.)

 

[Sammael Bard]

...and fiery eyes have been a staple of erotica since the Middle Ages at least.

Erotica in Middle Ages?

I think I have to google for it...

 

[Serafina1210]

Erotica in Middle Ages?

I think I have to google for it...

Well, it's pretty tame by Literotica standards (the ancients are closer--try Catullus!), but they had the basic moves down, not to mention the basic metaphors.

 

[StrangeLife]

Erotica in Middle Ages?

I think I have to google for it...

In older norse literature I once encountered a story - actually a song - called "Ebbe Skammelson" that dates back to the 15th century at least... maybe as far as the 13th century. The story is about a guy - Ebbe - who gets called into service by the king and when he returns home he discovers that his brother has tricked his fiancee into marrying him by telling her a lie about Ebbe being killed in battle. Ebbe asked his former fiancee to give the brother the finger and run away with him, but she refused - marriage was kinda like a big thing and quite irrevocable back in the middle ages. Besides she was no longer a virgin and possibly pregnant. Instead she gave him the "I will always be there for you and love you... like a sister" bullshit speech.

So it ended with him killing both her and the brother for revenge and living the rest of his life as an outlaw.


Now, if that's not totally Loving Wives I don't know what is.

 

[Serafina1210]

In older norse literature I once encountered a story - actually a song - called "Ebbe Skammelson" that dates back to the 15th century at least... maybe as far as the 13th century. The story is about a guy - Ebbe - who gets called into service by the king and when he returns home he discovers that his brother has tricked his fiancee into marrying him by telling her a lie about Ebbe being killed in battle. Ebbe asked his former fiancee to give the brother the finger and run away with him, but she refused - marriage was kinda like a big thing and quite irrevocable back in the middle ages. Besides she was no longer a virgin and possibly pregnant. Instead she gave him the "I will always be there for you and love you... like a sister" bullshit speech.

So it ended with him killing both her and the brother for revenge and living the rest of his life as an outlaw.


Now, if that's not totally Loving Wives I don't know what is.

Oh, heavens. I just read it. There's an old translation in R. Buchanan, Ballad Stories of the Affections from the Scandinavian (ca. 1869), pp. 32-44. Find it at archive.org.

Wretched translation, but still:

In at the door Sir Ebbe stept,
His drawn sword at his side,
And there beside the bridal bed
He slew the bonnie bride!

Lit wouldn't allow a story that ended this way, right?