An Illustrated Guide to Frisky Euphemisms

[StrangeLife]

Where Trouble Lurks

curious2c (c)

"You really would like to fuck my eyeballs out wouldn't you?"


Another classic that implies that the lover in question must a very thrust-worthy guy indeed.

 

[StrangeLife]

These are hilarious! (I'd like to say I'm laughing my arse off, but I'm a bit worried what that might lead to.)

Please don't encourage me. I have the same type of relationship to Photoshop as Miley Cyrus has to twerking and Sarah Palin has to politics. Whenever we get together horrible things happen...

 

[StrangeLife]

Letter To Bill 1/30/01

Linda Jean (c)


"He lasted long enough for me to enjoy two lovely earth shattering climax’s."


And the geologists believe that earthquakes are caused by tectonics? Fools! What do they know? Hah!

 

[StrangeLife]

Gazoontite Cums Out Loose

TongueTyler (c)


"Soon she was shuddering in an orgasm as my tongue danced over her clit."



DISCO LIVES!

 

[kittymacabre]

Sittin' Pretty

jack_straw (c)


"My cock was like iron as I stared at her."


When it comes to sex, extreme hardship is a good thing...

As we watched Iron Man the other day, a friend of mine couldn't help bit ask, "Do you think Pepper Potts ever gets freaky and asks Tony to put the arc reactor in her ass?

 

[NaokoSmith]

OMG, the tongue dancing over her clit!



I am crying with laughter here.

Thank you so much.

 

[StrangeLife]

Sneaking Out At the Party

pjlush (c)


"Your grinding on my cock is slowly getting faster."



This is one type of penile stimulation where the guy had better be "iron hard"...

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

Sneaking Out At the Party

pjlush (c)


"Your grinding on my cock is slowly getting faster."



This is one type of penile stimulation where the guy had better be "iron hard"...

I'd like to say I've been laughing my...oh never mind, Naoko is way ahead of me, but I am surprised there was nothing said about "slowly getting faster".

 

[StrangeLife]

My Wife is Bi

Toolmo (c)

"I thought I would blow a nut right then."



Well, I guess it beats cracking one...

 

[StrangeLife]

Cheating on the Cheater

Irish Moss (c)


"I was really enjoying eating her pussy."



Pussies live life dangerously on Literotica...

 

[StrangeLife]

What A Morning

jcards (c)


"I quickly got used to it and began riding him like a champ."



You may not believe it at first glance but the picture is actually Photoshopped. Shhh...

 

[elfin_odalisque]

It wasn't an anal scene, alas--the sentence before ends "buried my sword in her saturated scabbard in one thrust."

It was a gladiatorial contest.

Love it! Did you know that Napoleon's soldiers thrust their trusty weapons in their vaginas before we girlies hijacked the word?

StrangeLife, Thanks for a great thread. congrats.

 

[StrangeLife]

That Phrase... Sylvia Ch. 03

mikoli5763 (c)


"I began to pound her ass."



Being an ass on Lit isn't much safer than being a pussy...

 

[StrangeLife]

Love it! Did you know that Napoleon's soldiers thrust their trusty weapons in their vaginas before we girlies hijacked the word?

Huh? Are you telling me that vagina was used as an euphemism for scabbard long before scabbards became vaginas?

 

[Serafina1210]

Huh? Are you telling me that vagina was used as an euphemism for scabbard long before scabbards became vaginas?

Vagina is Latin for "scabbard."

The modern sense is the metaphorical one, and I trust that requires no explanation!

 

[StrangeLife]

Vagina is Latin for "scabbard."

I had no idea.

I bet the medieval knights got a chuckle out of that every time they sheathed their swords after a fight...

 

[CPBaudelaire]

You owe me a keyboard. I'll NEVER get all that coffee off of it. Plus, I think I pulled a muscle from laughing so hard.

 

[Serafina1210]

Some words that have been used for vagina (and sometimes vulva):

neck, valve, vessel, way, niche, nick, oven, pocketbook, quiver, scabbard (in addition to the obvious ones--sources Oxford English Dictionary, Middle English Dictionary).

 

[StrangeLife]

Some words that have been used for vagina (and sometimes vulva):

...pocketbook...

My first wife probably invented that one..

 

[Hypoxia]

Some words that have been used for vagina (and sometimes vulva):

neck, valve, vessel, way, niche, nick, oven, pocketbook, quiver, scabbard (in addition to the obvious ones--sources Oxford English Dictionary, Middle English Dictionary).

From THE BALD-HEADED HERMIT AND THE ARTICHOKE - An Erotic Thesaurus

Vagina
see Genitalia (Female), Labia, Clitoris

Many of these terms are derogatory, often deriving from male fear and/or ignorance.

ace, alley, alpha and omega, altar of love, anchory thatch, apple, artichoke, article, Aunt Annie, axe wound, bacon sandwich, bag, bag of tricks, bank, barge, bazoo, bearded leisure centre, beaver, beefbox, beehive, berk (Berkshire hunt), best, best part, bit, bite, black box, black hole, black joke, black ring, blind alley, blind entrance, blind eye, blurt, boat, bob and hit, booty, bottomless pit, box, bull's eye, bumshop, bun, butcher's winidow, buttonhole, cake, camel toes, can, canyon, carnal trap, case, cat, cat with its throat cut, cave, cellar, central cut, Charlie, chasm, chimney, chopped liver, chuff, circle, clabby, cladge, cleft, clodge, cock, cock-alley, cock-holder, coffee shop, coinslot, cono, cooch, cookie, coot, cooze, coozle, crack, cranny, crease, crevice, cunnicle, cunny, cunt, cylinder, damp, dark meat, dead end street, den, dicky do, diddle, Diddly pout, ditch, divine scar, dormouse, down there, drain, everlasting wound, fadge, fan, fanny, fanoir, fig, fillet o' fish, finger pie, fireplace, fish, fish city, fish mitten, fishpond, flange, flesh wallet, fleshy part, fluff, flytrap, fork, fornicator's hall, front bum, front door, front garden, fuckhole, fud, fur, fur chalice, furburger, furrow, furry hoop, furry letterbox, furry mongoose, futy, futz, fuzzburger, fuzzy cup, G (goodies), G-spot, gap, gape, garden, garden of Eden, gash, gasp and grunt, gee, gib teenuck, ginch, gloryhole, golden doughnut, greasebox, gristle mutt, groceries, groin, grotto, growl (er), grumble and grunt, grunt, gulf, gully, gulfyhole, gutted hamster, gutter, gym/gymnasium, hair pie, hairy pipi, hairy wheel, hairy whizzer, hanging basket, harbour of hope, hatch, heaven, hee, hefty clefty, hell, ho cake, hole, hole of holes, Holiday Inn, home sweet home, honeypot, hoop, horse collar, hot meat, hot pussy, hotel, house under the hill, housewife, Irish fortune, it, Jack and Danny, jam, jam donut, jambag, jampot, janey, jellybag, jellybox, jellyroll, Jenny, jewel, jing-jang, Joe Hunt, joxy, joy trail, kebab wallet, kennel, kettle, kipper trench, Idtchen, kitty, kittycat, knish, knocker pie, ladder, ling, little Mary, little sister, lock, lodge, lover's lane, lucky bag, lunch box, Maggie's pie, magpie's nest, manhole, mantrap, map of Tazzy/Tasmania, masterpiece, maw, meat, Mickey Mouse, middle-cut, minge, mink, money box, monkey, moot, mouse, mouse's ear, muffin, mutton, nappy dugout, nasty, nasty gash, nest, nether end, nether mouth, niche, nodder, nooker, nooky, notch, nursery, old thing, Olympic pool, open C, open charms, oracle, orgasm chasm, orifice, oven, P, P-maker, padlock, pancake, papaya, passage, passion pit, peehole, PEEP, penocha, pie, pink, pink care, pink eye, pink palace in the Black Forest, pipe, pit, pit hole, pit mouth, pit of darkness, placket, pocket, poes, poke hole, pole hole, pond, poodong, poon, poontang, pooz, poozle, portal of Venus, pouter, power "U", premises, prime cut, puddin, pulpit, pulse, punani, purse, puss, pussy, pussycat, quic, quiff, quim, quim nuts, quiver, rag box, rattlesnake, receiving set, red lane, ring, rocket socket, rose, rosebud, rubyfruit, rufus, rump, safe, saltcellar, salmon sandwich, scat, second hole from the back of the neck, see you next Tuesday, sex, sharp and blunt, skin chimney, slice of life, slit, slot, sluice, smoo, snag, snapper, snapping puss, snapping turtle, snatch, snippet, south pole, southerner, spadger, split, split apricot, split beaver, squack, stank, stench, stink, stinkpot, sugar basin, tail, target, Texas snapping turtle, that there, till, toolbox, toot toot, treasury, trench, trim, trout, tube, tuna, twat, twim, twot, vacuum, vag, velvet underground, Venus' glove, vertical smile, vicious circle, Virginia, wallet, where the monkey sleeps, where uncle doodle goes, white meat, woo-woo, wound, Y (the), yoni, you know where, yum yum

* Artichoke: a poetic metaphor for vagina, referring to that plant's leaves, and the sensuous pleasure of peeling and eating the flesh beneath them.
* Cooch: 20th-century American term; derived from hootchy-kootchy, a playful erotic dance.
* Cunt: highly vulgar term, still in use, from the Middle English count(e), which derived from the Germanic Kunton.
* Gasp and grunt, grumble and grunt, sharp and blunt: rhyme with cunt. House under the hill: refers to the abode found below the hill, or mons pubis.
* Mickey Mouse: the Disney Corporation is likely displeased with this 20th-century American usage for vagina.
* Open C: historically, vulgar slang words were often referred to by their first letters only - in this case, C for cunt.
* PEEP: Perfectly elegant eating pussy.
* Puss: originally an English affectionate term for a woman, but pussy came to have a more sexual (genital) meaning by the mid-20th-century.
* Quiff: may be derived from the Italian cuffia (coif) referring first to hair, then possibly pubic hair.
* See You Next Tuesday: first letters suggest spelling of cunt
* Twat: vulgar English term from the 17th century, origin unknown.
* Wound, slash, and slit: rather nasty, male-invented modern terms for vagina.
* Yoni: a sacred sanskrit term suggesting the great womb of creation.

Eastern (Indian/Tibetan) terms for the vagina are often gentle and poetic: enchanted garden, full moon, great jewel, lotus blossom, moist cave, pearl, ripe peach, valley of joy.

 

[Serafina1210]

Here's a writer's challenge: use two dozen terms from Hypoxia's list in a single story without arousing StrangeLife's mirth.

 

[StrangeLife]

Here's a writer's challenge: use two dozen terms from Hypoxia's list in a single story without arousing StrangeLife's mirth.

If you use a title like "Pounding My Poodong" you have lost even before the story begins.




I can vividly imagine the author and his research team when they were discussing the list of terms to be included in the book...

 

[TxRad]

If you use a title like "Pounding My Poodong" you have lost even before the story begins.




I can vividly imagine the author and his research team when they were discussing the list of terms to be included in the book...

How about using all of them in one sentence?

 

[StrangeLife]

How about using all of them in one sentence?

Hope you brought your reading glasses...

 

[Serafina1210]

Hope you brought your reading glasses...

That was ... inspired.