You're doing it wrong!

[BoiToy19]

Dear Mechanicalangel,



I really enjoyed some of your story, "Earning Forgiveness", but you can't have a girl sign a contract while she is still a slave! It's boring!!! She has to do it willing after they don't want her anymore. Anything else is just bad writing. Also don't burst the audiences suspension of belief with nonsense like a legal contract. If you going to use force put this in the non-consent section otherwise she must be a willing participate. The act of choice in submission is what makes this subject erotic. Otherwise you are not too bad of a writer. Lastly this is just my preference, however I would prefer the masters to be more athletic, handsome, with well-rounded lives and not so much of pathetic emotional stunted losers. I don't know anyone that couldn't give themselves to someone like that it's just not believable.

 

[MatthewVett]

Dear Mechanicalangel,



I really enjoyed some of your story, "Earning Forgiveness", but you can't have a girl sign a contract while she is still a slave! It's boring!!! She has to do it willing after they don't want her anymore. Anything else is just bad writing. Also don't burst the audiences suspension of belief with nonsense like a legal contract. If you going to use force put this in the non-consent section otherwise she must be a willing participate. The act of choice in submission is what makes this subject erotic. Otherwise you are not too bad of a writer. Lastly this is just my preference, however I would prefer the masters to be more athletic, handsome, with well-rounded lives and not so much of pathetic emotional stunted losers. I don't know anyone that couldn't give themselves to someone like that it's just not believable.

Shouldn't this comment be like, on the story? Or at least include a link so we can easily read the story and discuss it?

Also, I think you're off in saying "Anything else is just bad writing." It might not be your taste, but there's not just one way to write that isn't "bad."