Your religious upbringing and erotic tastes

[SimonDoom]

OK, here's an edgy question for you, if you want to answer. What was your religious upbringing, and do you think it has influenced your tastes in erotica in any way?

I was not raised in a religious way. My parents, if asked, would have said they were vaguely Protestant Christian, but we never went to church. I've never lived with a fear of hell or of a deity. That doesn't influence my thinking at all. I've read the Bible, many times, but as a work of literature rather than as the holy word of a deity.

I think as a result of that upbringing I've always basically felt people should be free to do whatever they want to do if it gives them pleasure and if they aren't hurting other people. I'm open-minded about erotica. My imagination likes to go to weird erotic places, and I don't feel guilty about it.

 

[TadOverdon]

My parents are indifferent to religion but Mom is socially conservative about sex. So I don't think religious orientation is as important as the overall matrix of socialization. Sexual taboos in American society have never been simply about the religious faith of the individual. They're reinforced by all kinds of peer-group and other authorities.

Trust me, no family member ever made me so ashamed about sex as the kids in 7th grade Home Room did.

 

[NotWise]

My background is conservative protestant -- conservative the point that I wasn't surprised when my older sister became a Mormon.

I don't recall sex ever being a subject in my religious education, and my college-educated parents didn't make it a topic at home.

 

[oggbashan]

When they met, my mother was a Methodist and my father was Church of England. They married in a Church of England ceremony and my mother went along with the Church of England but wasn't really convinced about it.

My father was a very active member wherever we were and eventually became a lay member of the Diocesan Synod of Canterbury.

I went to Sunday School and obtained a prize, aged seven, for Biblical knowledge. Later, I wasn't so bothered. At times I was a member of a Church of England youth group and then Methodists but I wasn't committed to either. I just liked the Methodist girls better.

I was an additional member of the boy trebles in a Cathedral choir for the major festivals. I wasn't quite good enough, nor did I have enough spare time to be a full member, but I had a strong voice which the choirmaster found useful - sometimes.

That ended when my voice broke and kept getting lower until I ended up as a Basso Profundo. Since then I have performed in several productions of The Messiah when my voice was useful on the lower notes where the basses and baritones struggled. But I have not been a regular churchgoer since becoming an adult. I go to weddings, christenings and funerals. At all, during the hymns, I tend to startle other members of the congregations because my voice is usually an octave below the bass line - and loud.


I don't think my upbringing has affected my erotic stories. It has affected some of my Christmas stories because I tend to emphasise the Christian Christmas over the commercial one. But that is all.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Religion... I was raise as a Catholic. Went to church every Sunday with mom, she was the religious one. Dad was a Protestant yet didn't go to church. I was confirmed and every Wednesday went to catechism for half a day.

Nuns... most were nice and wanted to help us learn the word of god. Others, carried wooden rulers and weren't afraid to use them. They were called Sister. Priests were called Father and most were there to help you get through life.

When I turned 16 I walked away from the righteous path and never looked back. I am now an Agnostic. There may be a supreme being, but until he stands in front of me and performs a miracle I'll reserve my judgement.

I find that writing erotica is an outlet and as it hurts no one, why shouldn't I do it. I don't think my upbringing had anything to do with what I do now. At least I don't think there is a connection.

I did happen upon my fathers Playboys and Penthouse magazines when I was a teen and really liked to look at the naked beauties that graced the pages. So, maybe it was those glossy pages that turned me into a pervert.

 

[oggbashan]

My father didn't have Penthouse of Playboy. But he did have a collection of National Geographic magazines from the 1920s to 1940s with many pictures of bare-breasted 'native' women.

My oldest aunt had a collection of 'rude' postcards that had been sent to her by a missionary working in West Africa. He was the brother of one of her fiancées who was an RFC pilot shot down over the Western Front. It was a standing joke between them that although he was a missionary he would try to 'shock' her.

He knew my aunt was unshockable, but he tried. He sent rude French postcards from Paris that he had to send in envelopes because the British Post office would have destroyed them as obscene. He took pictures of native tribeswomen where he was working, had them printed as postcards and sent them to her with the names of the pictured women on the back. She showed me her rude postcard album after I was eighteen when she was remembering her missionary friend who had recently died.


"These cards meant nothing," she said,"Except an ongoing joke we had for years. He tried to shock me, but after the First World War (she had worked as a nurse in France) nothing could. I used to send him the latest books because he didn't have much reading material except the Bible. Ants ate his library but his Bible was in a metal bible-box they couldn't get into."

 

[Dingo_Triplesix]

I like your questions, SimonDoom ;-)

My background is similar. My parents back then have been registered members of the protestantic church in Germany. But then, this "state church" is a specific construction in our country, unlike US. They never were active christians, and I remember some discussions in kindergarten when I stated at the age of six that I do not believe in God. As the kindergarten was an institution run by the church, the caregivers were shocked ;-)

So I never cared about "sinful", only about "socially unacceptable", when it comes to sexual topics. In spite of this I was quite uptight and unlucky with my uninspiring sex life as a teen and some years more. But this had personel reasons, not religious ones. So being free of dogmatic pressure does not automatically mean you are blessed with inner freedom when it comes to the own sex life.

What I found with some people I know is, that a high load of christian imprint causes a kind of a basic tension of the personality, making relaxing difficult. But this is rather anectodic knowledge, so it may not be valid in a broader context.

 

[MrPixel]

Oo. This aspect of my upbringing is sort of complicated.

Mom's family was quite Catholic and she tried to keep up with it, dragging me and my sister to Mass up until I was about six. I was "sprinkled" as an infant. Never confirmed, though.

Dad was ostensibly some manner of Protestant, but in actuality was agnostic. He nonetheless impressed a very rigid moral code on us kids, while at the same time messing with my sisters , ignoring my Mom, and having an affair with Mom's younger sister. Anything even resembling porn was regularly called "smut!", even to his dying day. Funny thing I discovered in the last couple of years of his life was he was a closet nudist. Apparently it's genetic. Fortunately the extreme hypocrisy was not.

We kids were bounced around from church to church, especially me. We moved across town, and the Presbyterian church was walking distance from the house. We had to go, Mom and Dad did not attend. In high school I started going to First Baptist (ABC) because of their music program. I was "dunked" when 18. I met my first true girlfriend in the choir, she broke it off, and another soprano eventually became my first wife.

I played the organ at the time, and was briefly hired by the Christian Science congregation. I could only stand about a month of Mary Baker Eddy sermon readings and we parted company. In college I tried the nearby Congregational church, but soured on the "Presbyterian lite" shtick. That was the last of it; I'm agnostic.

Erotica-wise, the religious eclecticism is just not a factor. The biggest influence on my life seems to be the hereditary part - all nude all the time. I like nudes, and I enjoy reading (and writing) about situations where most or all of the characters are nude. I don't enjoy lingerie or underwear, and don't "draw" my characters that way. So I guess my genres are exhibition and voyeurism; I can't quite explain an apparent preoccupation with partner sharing.

Given the non-religious issues growing up, I also seem to be in love with love, and my style has morphed into romances mildly peppered with not-so-mild graphic sex, both writing and reading.

 

[Blind_Justice]

My parents were atheists and I'm too. Fuck organized religion - it's blatantly obvious little good comes from it. Too many handsy priests, too many hate-spewing, narrow-minded idiots claiming some imaginary figure in the sky told them to hate gays or any kind of relationship not penned down in their oh-so-holy book. Yet somehow those bitter, family-values preachers are regularly exposed to have extramarital affairs or some history raping young girls. Very saintly.

And don't get me started on radical Muslims who are totally okay cutting out young girls' clitorises with glass shards because some mullah told them feeling good while having sex is a sin. I'm pretty sure Mohammed didn't plan on THAT when he wrote his book.

I've read both the Bible and the Quoran. The best ammo when discussing religion is knowledge. One of my ex-girlfriends is a protestant priest and so many preconceived notions like "sex is filthy" are -according to her - utter bullshit. Jesus and God are all about love and forgiveness - and what purer display of love is there than sharing your body with someone else? Also, the whole abstinence thing? That's meant for the clergy, not for the simple believers. But in typical human fashion, it got turned upside down. The priests are happily abusing those they should care for while fanatical parents beat their kids to an inch of their life should they catch them masturbating. Or said parents deny them access to sex ed classes and complain later how their daughter has been knocked up by some handsy asshole because daughter didn't know where "massage" ends and flat out rape begins.

*deep breath*

What was the question again?

 

[lovecraft68]

I wasn't raised with any religious, or for that matter, political beliefs, and I've always felt that was a good thing as I didn't have someone else's ideas and beliefs planted in my head and especially not the Catholic, lock them in when they're young, baptism, communion, confirmation domino effect of brainwashing.

Without any preconceived notions I was free to look into many things with an opened mind, and not one filled with others thoughts.

I'm pretty much hedonistic, one life to live, if it feels good do it, with the only rule being as long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else.

So I have always had a no limits view of erotica and porn. Granted, some things aren't for me, but I believe to each their own, providing you're not trying to force your thinking down my throat or condemning me based on your own inhibitions and issues.

 

[KeithD]

I was raised in a globe-trotting military/diplomatic family and moved into a globe-trotting diplomatic family of my own. Great grandfathers on both sides were Methodist ministers, and that was the default church when one was available. The family was churched, including the kids, until old enough to assert their own preferences on church or not, and which church, sometime in their mid-to-late teens. Until my teens, we went to base military nondenominational Protestant services. Methodist when back to the States for high school. I have one sister who is a Methodist minister and two who dropped out in their mid teens. I held positions on the conference and national levels in the Methodist church myself until my job took us overseas the first time. From then until two years ago when I left the church over its insistence to cherry pick prejudice out of the Old Testament, I've been Episcopalian, Methodist, Anglican, Church of Christ, according to what was available where I lived.

My family (other than my minister sister) have pretty much been just social/environmental church goers and have never been pushy about it. My daughter is unchurched. My son is a nominal Methodist and rarely goes. His wife has been everything from studying for the Methodist ministry to Presbyterian, Jewish, Unitarian, and currently is Catholic. My granddaughters are nominally Catholic.

All of us pretty much just follow Christian denomination social principals. Other than basic principles, none of this has anything to do with my erotic tastes or writings.

 

[HeyAll]

Was raised to be religious, still am. That will never go. I'll always be religious.

As for erotica, I view it as a different entity that does not conflict with religion. It's no different than enjoying a movie or a crime novel. In my view.

 

[JuanaSalsa]

I was raised until 11 by atheists. I still remember when I was 7 or so when a neighbor girl asked if I believed in God and I replied that I hadn't determined my absolute position on that topic yet. She told me I was going to Hell and never spoke to me again. Mostly, I was confused by this response, having no idea that religion was so important to some people.

Then, my parents divorced and my dad suddenly became Christian. He was very taken by the idea of a god who sacrificed himself, rather than the reverse, as it had been for thousands of years before Jesus. I was never much convinced, although I conceded it was an interesting philosophical concept. I have read most of the bible, but not any other religious texts.

As to sex and erotica, I feel no guilt or shame about any of it. I worked at a BDSM shop when I was 18, and never felt bad about that or ashamed or worried about people knowing where I worked - although I did leave it off my resume when I went looking for professional jobs after college. I can not think of a thing that two adults could do, with consent, that would be immoral.

 

[Comshaw]

OK, here's an edgy question for you, if you want to answer. What was your religious upbringing, and do you think it has influenced your tastes in erotica in any way?

I was not raised in a religious way. My parents, if asked, would have said they were vaguely Protestant Christian, but we never went to church. I've never lived with a fear of hell or of a deity. That doesn't influence my thinking at all. I've read the Bible, many times, but as a work of literature rather than as the holy word of a deity.

I think as a result of that upbringing I've always basically felt people should be free to do whatever they want to do if it gives them pleasure and if they aren't hurting other people. I'm open-minded about erotica. My imagination likes to go to weird erotic places, and I don't feel guilty about it.

My grandmother, who raised me and my 3 siblings, was a conservative non-denominational Christian. The rest of my family (my father was one) professed to be religious but didn't act like it. I went to church occasionally and at one point was "saved".

Fast-forward to my mid-twenties. In my early years I had seen stuff in my family and some of the church members, who all professed to be Christian, that did not jibe with what I had read and been taught to believe followed the tenants of Christianity.

Add in my participation in a nasty little fight in southeast Asia, and I was at a point where I began to question all those religious things I was taught. It took me a year or two but I came to the realization that religion is a belief in the existence of a deity with no real factual backing.

Did that affect my view of erotica? Yes. It freed me to understand that the relationships between people, those things they want to do, are none of my business AS LONG AS it harms no one.

I also realized that we have one time through this life, so experiencing those things we wish to, again as long as it hurts no one else, we should be free to do.

Because of that, I make no judgements of other's kinks, it ain't mine to do. I do not have to like it, but I also will not judge it.

That mind set led me and my wife to a 15 year polyamorous involvement with another couple. There were many who judged us for that, but my response was always and will always be the same: ain't nunya. Go live your life and leave me to mine.

Comshaw

 

[Stillrandy]

I am a Christian. My family of origin were Episcopalian (U.S.) and I followed that denomination until I was in my 40's. Then switched to a Assembly of God charismatic fellowship that had a better youth program for my kids and was more dedicated to their teaching. Much later, after lots of life events, I returned to an Episcopal congregation for a few years, but stopped about 12 years ago. Do not currently attend a church. I do occasionally teach a Bible class in the retirement community where I live.

My 'erotic tastes' have evolved with the internet (like most people I think). And like some other posters, my sexual 'creed' would be like the physicians' motto: 'First do no harm'. That would include emotional as well as physical harm.

Thinking about this some more: I am not conscious that my religious upbringing and participation has a direct influence on my enjoyment of erotica. That said, there are aspects that show up on Literotica (and other venues) which I do not like or do not think constitute legitimate or appropriate sexual behavior. Those I leave to others as YMMV.

 

[SimonDoom]

I want to clarify something, if it wasn't clear from my original post. I'm not anti-religious, and I did not start this thread to disparage anyone's religious beliefs. My intent was to welcome any views that people have. I'm not a believer, but I have at times in my life attended church services and sometimes found them quite enjoyable and interesting. I've enjoyed the Jewish services I've attended, and I went to a service at a mosque once, which I found fascinating and very positive.

 

[stickygirl]

My mother has never been religious but my Dad apparently wanted us to go to the same school he had, which was church of England. I enjoyed singing and the musical side and even the ceremony to an extent, but lost interest when my level of scientific understanding grew to be at odds with omnipotent beings.

I'm not sure how it affected my sexuality - not at all. The church didn't know what to make of my gender issues as they were outside their brief. I made my own mind up about those things and didn't need someone without less than an open mind to tell me how to behave.

I don't avoid church so I can attend weddings without vomiting nails or setting fire to anything.

 

[Comshaw]

My mother has never been religious but my Dad apparently wanted us to go to the same school he had, which was church of England. I enjoyed singing and the musical side and even the ceremony to an extent, but lost interest when my level of scientific understanding grew to be at odds with omnipotent beings.

I'm not sure how it affected my sexuality - not at all. The church didn't know what to make of my gender issues as they were outside their brief. I made my own mind up about those things and didn't need someone without less than an open mind to tell me how to behave.

I don't avoid church so I can attend weddings without vomiting nails or setting fire to anything.

This ↑

When I tell people I'm an atheist, they always assume I'm ready to tear down the churches and burn the ministers and priests at the stake. So much for religious tolerance.

My view is far from that. Religion is beneficial for those who need a crutch as they make their way through life. Who am I to try to take that away from them? Try to destroy a pillar upon which they base their life? If it helps them, if it comforts them, as far as I'm concerned they are welcome to it and I will do nothing to dissuade them from that path.

And I can go to church if needs be. It's just another building, after all. It's not like I'm going to burn in an imaginary place for eternity.

That said, if it does harm, if it does damage people, then yeah, those militaristic atheist tendencies surface and I'm ready to go to war.

Comshaw

 

[Dingo_Triplesix]

From a sociological system-theory-based point of view the rise of religions had its reasons, it was a crucial step in civilization development. Question is, if they are kind of outdated today, as mankind has developed more refined systems later on. My personal estimation: the big religions will crumble during the next century, making space for individual systems of belief.

 

[KeithD]

My personal estimation: the big religions will crumble during the next century, making space for individual systems of belief.

The Covid pandemic is thinning the pews out--and not just because people are dying. Once absent from in-person church attendance, a good many people aren't going back. It had become more of just a social habit for many of them, not a matter of religious faith.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

My dad was raised non-conformist Protestant, of the 'alcohol may lead to dancing' variety. Mum was raised Catholic. Both rejected their backgrounds, moved city, went to university, and aren't religious beyond thinking the CofE is a good tradition.

So I got sent to Sunday School for a few years. As is typical in England, the congregation was about 6 old ladies plus the vicar, then 50-80 kids, whose parents would collect us after making use of the free babysitting. As a Sunday School it was useless - after 3 years no-one had ever mentioned Jesus was supposed to be the son of god, nor that anyone actually believed the Bible.

So I got a traditional English inoculation of religion from daily Assembly with hymns every day in school, lots of pre- and post-war books, etc.

Influence on sex - well it was religious MPs and the Bishops who were against abolishing Section 28 and equalising the age of consent, even though Thatcher and those who introduced s28 weren't religious, just typical 80s homophobes. But the religion sure didn't help my parents talk about sex at all, ever - my mum tried to explain the birds and bees as I moved out.

Peer pressure was more relevant - I remember a teenage conversation about oral sex (giggle, giggle) which stopped in abrupt horror when I said giving a blow job sounded fine but receiving cunnilingus sounded ticklish. Because having an opinion meant I'd seriously *thought* about it.

So despite never being Christian, I've been in its culture - so I have to admit to getting an extra kick out of using an 8-foot crucifix as BDSM equipment, and finding myself screaming oddly-specific Catholic curses at sexual moments, which I've never spoken on any other occasions. The mind is an odd thing.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I don't think it's had a huge effect on mine, except perhaps to encourage a cosmopolitan attitude to such things. I had a few different religious influences as a kid without any one of them being overwhelming; I got baptised and called myself a Christian for a while before eventually getting to a point of "hmm, I don't think I believe this any more".

These days I'm an atheist with an intense dislike of big-name atheists; unfortunately atheism as a political movement seems determined to embrace many of the same ills found in organised religion. I've had friends and lovers from a variety of religions and only very rarely has it been a point of friction. I can't remember it ever coming into the bedroom.

I have written a couple of stories which involve religious differences as part of the background to a relationship, but I think only one (Red Scarf) where it was a significant point.

 

[XerXesXu]

Father Anglican, mother Irish Catholic, so I was baptised a catholic and sent to Sunday School. My parents never went to church and the foregoing occurred because my parents were socially conformist and believed things should be done as they ought to be done. I never had much of a religious feeling and abandoned all religion as cod by the time I was eight. In my teens, I toyed with pre-Christian value systems and looked at political ideologies before abandoning them as cod. I could see that Greeks and Romans had very different sexual morality to that which was current. My values and morality I acquired from my parents and the general zeitgeist, which was the social contract called the post-war consensus, now the welfare-state. Study hard, work hard, pay your taxes, look out for one another, and you’ll be taken care of by your fellow citizens from the cradle to the grave.

My parents never mentioned sexual morality, which I absorbed through what I read and what I heard people say. Society was post-Victorian and prudish. We casually spoke in a racist and misogynistic fashion. We did not masturbate. Homosexuals were paedophiles. There was an unmarried mothers’ home near my school. It had a large sign on the front with Unmarried Mother’s Home written on the front. It was a place of shame. There was a deep sense of grievance against the ‘sluts’ who fraternised with the American forces concentrating in England for the invasion of Europe, while their boyfriends and husbands were in the far-east and near-east fighting. These stories were frequently recycled.

My first moral trauma was when I discovered rich people didn’t pay tax lawfully due, and respectable, middle-class professionals not only assisted in concealing the crime but considered it the sensible thing to do. My second moral trauma was when I discovered I had a sexual preference for, so-called, ‘sluts’. I can be roused to moral indignation against those who abuse women or children.

 

[shakna]

Well, this is an interesting one. I wouldn't say the religiosity of my upbringing has influenced me, but the unique experiences it exposed me to, certainly did.

Both my parents were active evangelical (Little 'e') Christians, which meant that though I was born Australian, I spent my first few years of life in South America in places few people can actually even go, today. They were there as missionaries to the Quechua. So my first languages were a couple variants of the local tongues (some closer to ancient Mayan, some closer to modern Spanish).

I also spent considerable time among the native peoples of my home nation, again in places that are hard to reach today - closed communities and the like that require a permit for you to even visit.

The biggest influence that has had on me is a strong dislike for how groups of people are lumped together. The official terms for Australia's native peoples are "First Nations" or "Indigenous Australians"... We're talking about ten thousand different tribes, most of which have radically different cultural structures, and because of a lack of interaction (some traded, most didn't) have a history that developed in isolation to each other over the course of ten thousand years. The Tiwi ain't the Putuparri.

I have developed a fairly strong dislike for alcohol and other drugs throughout it, which is very controversial opinion for an Aussie to hold. I dislike, but don't tend to speak out unless someone asks me. The dislike is caused by watching intergenerational collapse due to rampant abuse of said things. Mankind may have had alcohol for thousands of years, but not all people groups did, and not everyone had easy access. And for all that is holy, don't mix regular ganja use with a smoking ceremony. That's one way to end up with something very toxic in your bloodstream.

My parents are still just as active as ever, even in their retirement and old age, which can be a bit frightening at times. (Did you really have to climb the Andes at 99 with a bad heart and bad lungs, dad!?) Unfortunately, there are a few critical things we will never see eye-to-eye on, that does stem from religion. I came out to my family as bisexual when I was still in high school. Dad's response to that was to treat a brick like a baseball. Since then, they've convinced themselves it was just a phase that I grew out of before "damage was done". (Yes... Totally... I didn't lose my virginity to another guy at all...)

So you won't see drug use in my stories, ever. But you will probably see a bit of desire to explore and go globe trotting. Treating people everywhere as just people. You'll also see my own lack of a line between genders when it comes to attraction. You like what you like. I've never understood only liking one thing. I understand liking types, and having preferences, but never the angry revulsion that some get.

If I manage to finish my Valentine's tale, you'll also find a bit of Tiwi as a fun little addition. (I got to help with the transcribing of a few Tiwi dictionaries a few years back. Mostly trying to nail down some meanings of New Tiwi which is a mix of Modern Tiwi and English that the new generation speaks. Fun, but hard work. Tiwi isn't a written language, record keeping was done through song, weaving, dance and art. They got introduced to traditional writing for the first time in the '50s.)

 

[SamScribble]

My paternal grandmother was staunch C of E. She sent me off to Sunday School when I was four. Apparently, I walked out after about 20 minutes and that was about it.

When it comes to erotic pursuits, I'm happy for people to do whatever gets them through the night - as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Oh... and consent is essential.