Your First Time?

[caged_doll]

Hi everyone!

I've considered myself bisexual my entire life. I've always, always been attracted to girls and I love watching lesbian porn. Not having had a lot of healthy relationships with girls through high school and college I always kind of thought that maybe I would eventually try being with a girl once I found a girl I connected with on a friend level and then eventually take it from there. Well, a few years ago I met a guy on on a D/s website, he lives far away but we hit it off and he came to visit and we were in a D/s relationship. The distance was a bit too much for him to handle (he "needs" a lot of sex) and due to finances and time committments I just wasn't able to be there for him in that sense. So he found another girl...at first I was a little upset but I got over it. He wanted us to be friends. I tried really hard to be her friend and eventually she started to open up to me and we became really good friends; probably the closest female friend I've ever had. So a couple months after that I went to visit them.

A lot happened over that weekend but it was my first time being with a girl. And for all that I thought it would be...it just wasn't. It felt very cold and almost clinical. I had a cold at the time, but we had planned the trip for months so I ended up going anyway...and they let me do things to them but no one did anything to me, or kissed me because I was contagious. (And just for the record after the first day I was not really sick, just a little sniffle.) The things I did to her satisfied my curiousity to a point, but after that it really didn't do anything for me sexually at all. She and I are still friends (this happened over two years ago) but we are not as close as we once were. The two of them are still together and I am still his friend too. He talks about me coming back to visit but it sounds like he wants it be an entirely sexual weekend and I'm just not down with that.

I guess I am just wondering if people have had a first time that did nothing for them but they tried again and eventually things were awesome? My first time having actual sex with a guy SUCKED but I wasn't as hesitant to try again as I am with another girl. I guess at what point do you say "Yes, I am a lover of the female form and I love watching girls being intimate with each other but I'm not bisexual like I always thought I was?"

Thanks...

 

[LucyH]

Meeting someone online (which is what it sounds like you did?) and thinking they're super cool, but having no sexual chemistry in person, is a pretty common experience, I think. I've had it happen, though not with a girl. My first time with a girl... I don't remember at all. I guess it was probably okay but not great.