Your first D/s experience with a Sir/Master

[littlegirlslut]

As a newbie to the BDSM lifestyle, I still get the letters wrong occasionally... one of my curiosities is how things begin once you do find someone... what is it like?

Also if there is a distance what kind of difficulties does this add to the situation?

Obviously this is not a decision that should be entered into lightly, it is very serious. How many of you had good lasting relationships in your first serious BDSM encounter... not just a quick session but lifestyle...

Thanks in advance.

 

[moraine]

seven years ago I walked into a Yahoo adult chat room by ACCIDENT..lol this friendly guy named Lord Spike(silly me thinking it was a medieval type name!) started talking to me, he said I seemed out of place and told me where I was and about the lifestyle... I returned the next night and the next untill we talked nearly every night for 6 months. He lives in Scotland and I live in Cali.. He has been my online Master since that 6 month Mark even Now that I am married and my husband allows him to controll me online.


I met another Master online that lived in my area and Lord Spike aloud me to see him, saying it wasnt fair to keep me because we figured though online I was his completely, he couldnt give me the experience offline, like i so needed and deserved. That was fun and intresting three months.. And alot different and less complicated than what I have with the hubby now.

My husband was Vanilla with a dom streak until last year, I finally told him my intrest in sex was Nill because I wasnt getting what I craved. I told him what I was into and he knew already, having figured out the few times he tied me to the bedpost was the best sex we had. He went to the local clubs for months training to use whips things on the sorts (after having me fill out the sublist) Granted he is a fine Master and pushes my limits(just right) We have our moments, because the last four years of our life together has been completely mutual. Mainly Im having issues submitting to him, because Ive been Wife, Working mother of three for years.

I know this sounds unlike a submissive, but my point(if I hadnt explained it, it wouldnt have made sense) Is that meeting a Master/Mistress first time, is easier than making one out of an otherwise vanilla relationship.

(so this is my first BDSM discussion post, Hope it helped a little, and sorry if I upset any rules, just let me know!)

 

[catalina_francisco]

For us it was initially a distance thing (16,000 kms), but had vibes unlike any others I had tentatively communicated with before. We communicated almost 24/7 for a few months, he decided to come visit and also announced we would marry during that visit, and the rest is history as they say. From that first moment at the airport we knew it was more than we ever hoped was possible and it has grown to be a deeper commitment and love than many others, vanilla or otherwise, share. Wasn't something either of us would normally have done, but it was right and just over 2 years since our marriage and collaring, it continues to be so. That first night certainly was one to remember.

Catalina

 

[Miss Diva]

I decided to try BSDM a few months and went on some online dating rooms. I had a couple of criterias I was looking: experience and the DOM had to be single (I was afraid of where my emotions would take me and did not want to feel guilty). I met three guys.

The first guy was married even though he stated he was not. He could never meet me at night. We only had coffee three times and the whole time I felt icky. Something was wrong. He wanted to dominate my whole life, like my hair and what I studied. I knew this is not what I wanted.

The second guy I met at a bar and he did not spring for my drink. Cheapskate. And he was married because I insisted that my Dom should be single.

My current Master is single and understands my reasons why. He agrees. The first time we met was at his office and spoke for three hours about ourselves and what we did. And intuitively I felt safe (follow your intuition). We agreed that I would only be his sexual slave. He does not want a 24/7 thing and neither do I. But sexually I cannot act without his consent. And I agreed not to go looking for another Master. We negotiated the terms of the slave contract (where I would be slave vs. where I would be his equal). We meet for sessions about twice a week

And we both know we want different things from LT relationship so we are both looking for LT partners on the side. My Master has no control over that.

But you may find a couple of duds before finding what you need.

BTW On Saturday I was tied up (standing up) and blindfolded for the first time. It was the most intense, sexual experience of my life. I felt I was under some hypontic trance. And I panicked everytime my Master left my side to go get something. I knew the layout of the room and where my Master was but every time he left my side or I could not feel him I panicked. It was exquisite torture. And halfway during the session he stopped and asked how I felt. The only word I could use was confused. I cannot wait to repeat the experience.

My Master made the experience so wonderful that now I finally understand the level of trust that has to go into the relationship. I now trust Him more that most of my friends I have know for a lifetime.

 

[shy slave]

BTW On Saturday I was tied up (standing up) and blindfolded for the first time. It was the most intense, sexual experience of my life. I felt I was under some hypontic trance. And I panicked everytime my Master left my side to go get something. I knew the layout of the room and where my Master was but every time he left my side or I could not feel him I panicked. It was exquisite torture. And halfway during the session he stopped and asked how I felt. The only word I could use was confused. I cannot wait to repeat the experience.

My Master made the experience so wonderful that now I finally understand the level of trust that has to go into the relationship. I now trust Him more that most of my friends I have know for a lifetime.

That sounds amazing and wonderful, I am terrified of blindfolds but you make it sound perfect thank you for sharing

 

[littlegirlslut]

That sounds amazing and wonderful, I am terrified of blindfolds but you make it sound perfect thank you for sharing

I too am terrified of blindfolds...

 

[pandoravampire]

Im meeting mine for the first time tomorrow! Cant wait.

 

[shy slave]

Have a wonderful time

I hope they are every thing you want from a Dom pandora.

I know I am going to sound like a mother

but make sure you tell someone where you are going.

Sorry

*starts pushing maternal instincts back into the rather tired and dust covered box they came out of*

 

[Miss Diva]

To pandoravampire:
Please be careful and arrange for a safe call.

To shy slave and littlegirlslut :
The blindfold heightened the whole experience. And Now I really understand why TRUST is so important.

 

[pandoravampire]

thankyou Diva and Slave, i have that covered allready having learnt about such things from here on Lit. Being motherly is a excellent trait, i thankyou for your cautions, wise words indeed.

Catalina, i love with how 'in love' you are. It gives me faith.

 

[littlegirlslut]

thank you thank you thank you thank you

I just wanted to thank all of you for your responses...

How did you feel before your first meeting? What was the emotional side like? How did you deal with it?

Sorry about all the questions! Inquiring minds want to know.

LGS

 

[catalina_francisco]

thankyou Diva and Slave, i have that covered allready having learnt about such things from here on Lit. Being motherly is a excellent trait, i thankyou for your cautions, wise words indeed.

Catalina, i love with how 'in love' you are. It gives me faith.

LOL, well like every one we have our days where life is not perfect, but the good thing is that no matter what happens we both never feel we want out or wish we were with another....for us it worked and the love seems to deepen and evolve in so many unexpected directions it is scary at times. It is a new experience to know I am with one who is willing and able to take the good with the bad and still be there 100%...is an exciting journey and one I encourage anyone to keep believing in the possibility of finding for themselves.

Catalina

 

[pandoravampire]

Things went well, im in one piece still.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Things went well, im in one piece still.

That is good to know.....LOL, now details pleeeeese!!!!

Catalina

 

[snowy ciara]

pretty please with sugar on top?

 

[Miss Diva]

Things went well, im in one piece still.

yes please details. What did you what did he/she ask?

 

[A's Sweet Baby]

Things went well, im in one piece still.

Oh pandora, please please share with us!!! details .. juicy, delicious details .. please!!!!!!!

 

[tahiraGC]

first meeting

We met in a chat room, I to wandered in out of curiosity and was very new we are both in the UK though about 2 hours apart. We spoke on line then progressed to the phone and after a few months a face to face meeting. I was terrified and exhilarated followed safety rules and the meeting was a success. A few weeks later we met over night that was amazing, we just passed our first anniversary. On average we meet twice a month I have teenagers with special needs so cant meet up as often as we would like but it works for us. I'm just lucky that I met the right Master for me first time round.

 

[pandoravampire]

A's sweet baby. Im sworn to confidentiality, so unfortunately can not share.
But it was a far more powerful experience than i ever hoped it would be. I am thrilled.

 

[Guest]

 

[Mr Blonde]

How many of you had good lasting relationships in your first serious BDSM encounter... not just a quick session but lifestyle...

My first BDSM encounters were with my first serious girlfriend when I was 18. Yeah, I'd had a series of vanilla girlfriends but she was the first where I felt comfortable with exploration. Probably if not for her, it would have happened with my next serious girlfriend when I was 22-23.

 

[LadyTemptress]

First I just want to say that I love this thread! And second don't be scared of the blindfold. It is the best thing about being tied up and having him do whatever to me. I trust him enough and I guess that could be the issue here for some of you.

I have also had some experience with being a Sub on line and hoping to take it to new levels as the days go on. I think what is amazing about online is that it's sort of like being blindfolded since he don't have a cam. It's also like being restrained because I will never really be able to touch him. It hurts yet its also so very good.

 

[forced]

First time? Well...

I met Him online - we talked quite a bit, just as friends. Eventually the conversations took on a more sexual/sensual overtone - just Q&A type stuff, nothing terribly erotic...yet.

One day, our conversation turned to what He would want to do... what I was hoping to try sometime, etc. We were both speaking of a third person, but it was quite obvious that we were referring to each other.

We met at Lit together a couple of months later. There was a point near the end of the night where I realized that this was it - I could either choose to trust this man that I'd known a short while... or I could just go home.

I took a chance - which was very unlike me. We left together that night and started slowly - he tied me up with soft cloths... blindfolded me (which was incredibly frightening for me at first!), etc.

We met up a handful of times after that - we lived about 3.5 hours apart. I have to say that - as sensual and erotic as our meetings were - it seemed that sex itself was just a footnote. It didn't even have to happen, really - there was so much more that went on.

I could delve in further, but I'll just say the following:

I knew it was over the last time I saw him. I still don't completely understand what happened, but it was no longer about loving control, it was suddenly all about Him - his need to get off and move on with the day. When I looked into his eyes and saw no care for me, I knew that was the last time I would see him.

 

[sex200561]

[spam/advertising prohibited per our forum guidelines]

 

[shy slave]

I have no idea why you chose to post your ad in this thread, but as I enjoyed re-reading the thread consider this post a bump for all those who were not around last year.

Oh and Pandora I notice we are still waiting on the details.....