Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
McKenna said:In and of themselves, I might agree (about the last two sentences.) In the context of the story, they fit rather well ...
McKenna said:I'm going to be brutally honest. I don't read all of your stories. In fact, I have read only a select few authors who frequent the Author's Hangout. It's not that I'm being snobbish or mean- frankly, I don't have time, and when I DO have time, I spend it selfishly on my own writing endeavors or a bit of frivolous fun.
It's interesting you should say that, McKMcKenna said:Raphy:
What struck me most about your excerpt was the first paragraph. The short, succinct sentences set a "tone" that goes very well with what is being conveyed. It's as if your style and your meaning mesh perfectly. He's surprised, it shows, and you convey that with your sentence structure. Well done.
perdita said:Just for fun, this is from my chapter of The Worst Chain Story Ever. Operative word: worst.
"Usually she could come on a dime in a New York minute, but her clitoris was fully buried within her plump hot-pink pussy and would not come out as if it had a mind of its own—which seemed a possibility often enough—as if it were a wounded animal hiding in brambles, or a petulant child who had locked itself inside its pup-tent, or a sluggish snail in its shell, or a pupa in its cocoon, or a cockroach encased in million-years-old amber, or the Rhinegold at the bottom of the Rhine, or the dependent clause in a Proustian sentence, or irony in America."
Perdita![]()
Yes, "splish-sploshed" and "cacophonous" always do me in.gauchecritic said:They are mucky aren't they?