Plucky19
Leaping like a duck...
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2005
- Posts
- 11,931
An American version, but still mostly applicable
You've ever been fined for riding with your head sticking out your car's sun roof.
Your wife complains because the kitchen junk drawer is full of MILES keys and heater parts.
You giggle when your hunting buddies talk about the awesome stopping power of the .308 Winchester.
You named your son Roger.
You drive a '59 Caddy because you like "the feel of a lot of American iron."
You announce "On the way!" before you break wind.
Instead of meeting you at the door with a cold beer after work, your wife meets you with a can of degreaser and orders to strip before you touch the furniture.
After returning from the field it takes you a while to get used to food without the "diesel smoked" flavour.
After sex you make your wife wipe down the breech
You've ever referred to a infantryman as a 'crunchie'.
During intercourse you announce "On the way."
You refer to General Patton as Him.
You consider cheating on your wife Permissive TDY.
You refer to Iraq as "summer vacation."
You think of ground troops as a speed bump.
You think bad sex may just be a bore sight problem.
You consider a sand table exercise as a Middle East deployment.
You consider a hasty defence just aiming the gun.
When working on your car you fill out a DA 5988E.
A pillow is nice, but a CVC is better.
You wish your POV had Tac Idle.
You get mad when NOMEX is referred to as the tanker suit.
You have a BBQ and invite all three of your friends.
You rank monster trucks between a Bradley and a M1 tank.
You carry a tanker bar in your POV.
You think hot spots are targets, not clubs.
You wish Suburbans weren't so expensive.
Before your son/daughter can use your car they must complete a request for dispatch.
You think PT means Personal Training.
You always set 4 places at the dinner table.
You don't buy gas for your car, instead you "top off"
Your kids call the sandbox "NTC".
Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry".
When your family gets together you call them "Slice Elements".
Your dog's name is Sabot.
You think a hammer is a precision instrument.
Your idea of a hike is carrying your bags from the POV parking lot to the tank line.
If you go to a fireworks show and feel disappointed that the noise wasn't loud enough.
If you think a Ranger is nothing more than a pick-up truck.
If you think the concept of dismount is the eighth deadly sin.
If you think JP8 and GAA are two of the four basic food groups.
If you see a monster truck stuck in the mud and say, "That's nothin', I once had my tank buried so bad . . ."
If you've lost headgear due to a large calibre bullet.
If going to the field means bringing the grill and all the fixing’s for a barbecue.
If you believed that the maker of smoke grenade launchers actually planned it so a six pack of 12oz sodas would fit perfectly in each launcher.
If you think that infantry are only curious looking hot spots for machine gun practice at 800m
If you use Chem-Lites to decorate your Christmas tree.
If you can make the transition from driving to sleeping with just the flip of a wrist.
If you have ever been startled out of sleep and shouted, "Identified!"
If the only thing that truly terrifies you is what might be crawling on the ground.
If the EPA knows you by your first name.
If you think the best way to handle a fuel spill is to kick dust over it and move out before anyone notices.
If you think there is no such thing as "Too much Ammo."
If you think a good OPORD is "Move north and kill everything."
The only ashtrays at home are 120mm aft caps.
You're always accusing your wife of turning the volume down on the TV, telephone, doorbell, etc.
You refer to Fort Knox as home.
You consider four as the right number of people to have in a family.
The only kind of scouts you are aware of are Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts.
"up" is no longer a direction to you.
You believe a hammer can fix anything.
You drive everywhere, even if it's two houses down.
Your wife is always reminding you to bring the lounge chairs and cooler home.
You sleep better sitting in your chair than you do in your bed.
You can sleep through the worst thunderstorm but wake up immediately when your clock radio goes off.
You believe radial tires are overrated.
Your hunting dog obeys such commands as: "halt", "traverse left/right", "forward" and "identified".
You were doing drive-by shootings before they were a fad.
You think nothing of your kids peeing off the porch instead of using the bathroom.
You use old track to surround your wife's small garden.
You replace all your wife's flower vases with shinier ones after each gunnery exercise.
You get mad whenever your wife puts anything away and it's not by the load plan.
It takes you a few extra minutes in the morning to remember that the throttle for your car is on the floor.
You use your child's telescope to track passing cars.
Your child's first words are "Not my echelon".
You believe that a combat load should not interfere with the amount of coffee and pogey bait you pack.
You would help your kids with math if only you had all your fingers.
You always park the car in the brush.
You drive to work in the low ground.
You tighten all the lug nuts on your car before starting it.
You always make last minute turns because you forget the car can't pivot."
http://www.12rbc.ca/images/Arch-CoursChaufLEO/Untitled-11.jpg
You've ever been fined for riding with your head sticking out your car's sun roof.
Your wife complains because the kitchen junk drawer is full of MILES keys and heater parts.
You giggle when your hunting buddies talk about the awesome stopping power of the .308 Winchester.
You named your son Roger.
You drive a '59 Caddy because you like "the feel of a lot of American iron."
You announce "On the way!" before you break wind.
Instead of meeting you at the door with a cold beer after work, your wife meets you with a can of degreaser and orders to strip before you touch the furniture.
After returning from the field it takes you a while to get used to food without the "diesel smoked" flavour.
After sex you make your wife wipe down the breech
You've ever referred to a infantryman as a 'crunchie'.
During intercourse you announce "On the way."
You refer to General Patton as Him.
You consider cheating on your wife Permissive TDY.
You refer to Iraq as "summer vacation."
You think of ground troops as a speed bump.
You think bad sex may just be a bore sight problem.
You consider a sand table exercise as a Middle East deployment.
You consider a hasty defence just aiming the gun.
When working on your car you fill out a DA 5988E.
A pillow is nice, but a CVC is better.
You wish your POV had Tac Idle.
You get mad when NOMEX is referred to as the tanker suit.
You have a BBQ and invite all three of your friends.
You rank monster trucks between a Bradley and a M1 tank.
You carry a tanker bar in your POV.
You think hot spots are targets, not clubs.
You wish Suburbans weren't so expensive.
Before your son/daughter can use your car they must complete a request for dispatch.
You think PT means Personal Training.
You always set 4 places at the dinner table.
You don't buy gas for your car, instead you "top off"
Your kids call the sandbox "NTC".
Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry".
When your family gets together you call them "Slice Elements".
Your dog's name is Sabot.
You think a hammer is a precision instrument.
Your idea of a hike is carrying your bags from the POV parking lot to the tank line.
If you go to a fireworks show and feel disappointed that the noise wasn't loud enough.
If you think a Ranger is nothing more than a pick-up truck.
If you think the concept of dismount is the eighth deadly sin.
If you think JP8 and GAA are two of the four basic food groups.
If you see a monster truck stuck in the mud and say, "That's nothin', I once had my tank buried so bad . . ."
If you've lost headgear due to a large calibre bullet.
If going to the field means bringing the grill and all the fixing’s for a barbecue.
If you believed that the maker of smoke grenade launchers actually planned it so a six pack of 12oz sodas would fit perfectly in each launcher.
If you think that infantry are only curious looking hot spots for machine gun practice at 800m
If you use Chem-Lites to decorate your Christmas tree.
If you can make the transition from driving to sleeping with just the flip of a wrist.
If you have ever been startled out of sleep and shouted, "Identified!"
If the only thing that truly terrifies you is what might be crawling on the ground.
If the EPA knows you by your first name.
If you think the best way to handle a fuel spill is to kick dust over it and move out before anyone notices.
If you think there is no such thing as "Too much Ammo."
If you think a good OPORD is "Move north and kill everything."
The only ashtrays at home are 120mm aft caps.
You're always accusing your wife of turning the volume down on the TV, telephone, doorbell, etc.
You refer to Fort Knox as home.
You consider four as the right number of people to have in a family.
The only kind of scouts you are aware of are Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts.
"up" is no longer a direction to you.
You believe a hammer can fix anything.
You drive everywhere, even if it's two houses down.
Your wife is always reminding you to bring the lounge chairs and cooler home.
You sleep better sitting in your chair than you do in your bed.
You can sleep through the worst thunderstorm but wake up immediately when your clock radio goes off.
You believe radial tires are overrated.
Your hunting dog obeys such commands as: "halt", "traverse left/right", "forward" and "identified".
You were doing drive-by shootings before they were a fad.
You think nothing of your kids peeing off the porch instead of using the bathroom.
You use old track to surround your wife's small garden.
You replace all your wife's flower vases with shinier ones after each gunnery exercise.
You get mad whenever your wife puts anything away and it's not by the load plan.
It takes you a few extra minutes in the morning to remember that the throttle for your car is on the floor.
You use your child's telescope to track passing cars.
Your child's first words are "Not my echelon".
You believe that a combat load should not interfere with the amount of coffee and pogey bait you pack.
You would help your kids with math if only you had all your fingers.
You always park the car in the brush.
You drive to work in the low ground.
You tighten all the lug nuts on your car before starting it.
You always make last minute turns because you forget the car can't pivot."
http://www.12rbc.ca/images/Arch-CoursChaufLEO/Untitled-11.jpg
