You know you're a Lit author when...

[TxRad]

As you read through your comments, you realize you are way more normal than you originally thought you were.

 

[Altissimus]

You know you're a Lit author when...

... you receive your first comment on an incest story thanking you because it reminds them of that time they banged their own sibling and you suddenly start questioning your choices in life...

... someone favourites that piece of non-con you wrote that was necessary for the story to progress but actually is a pretty nasty bit of life, and you find yourself hating people who liked it.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

Wait...

What's wrong with shoelaces??

Unless it's the flat ones- nothing.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

...when you suffered at least five separate personal attacks on the forum. It is a right of passage of a sort.

That happened my first year here with Safe_Bet. I has passed one of the trials.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

You see a couple kissing, and your mind starts dreaming up what that kiss might be leading to.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

What if they aren't kissing but you still dream things up about them?

I've done that, too. lol I see a hot looking couple and mind just kind of wanders, imagining all sorts of kinky things...

 

[Altissimus]

admittedly, they don't even have to be hot for me to do it. Or a couple...

*shrug*

...or human...

 

[Smuttyandfun]

...or human...

Yeah, alien sex can be pretty hot, too. Especially with those anal probes they're so fond of whipping out whenever they encounter an earthling.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Your mind went aliens. Mine went vampires and werewolves... and Demons. Maybe angels. Definitely ghosts. Possibly fairies. Dragons are on the list somewhere.

I think I draw the line at Satyrs.

*second edit after googling* then again maybe not.

I guess that proves why we write on Lit.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Not sure if funny or sad... Chose funny...

Yeah, me too. lol

 

[Smuttyandfun]

And now I have questions about logistics involving tails.

So you're not even curious about probes, and how that whole thing works? Cause I know I am.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Not in the slightest, seems pretty self explanatory and I assume it works like a transvaginal ultrasound or colonoscopy works.

But... the question is would a satyr's tail waggle the whole time?

Yeah, that's something I never considered. The wiggle factor. But then again, if we are talking aliens, their probes might do things we've never even imagined.

 

[Altissimus]

And now I have questions about logistics involving tails.

I'm going to remind you of this in a couple of weeks' time.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

They might waggle (this is not a typo, I just like it, nm, it's apparently a real word.), too...

Yeah, I've used it. Another lit thing, is being creative with our word choices. Like fanfuckingtastic, I'm pretty sure is a word. Same as absofuckinglutely. But only if I'm writing something more classy. lol

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Beautiful uses of fuck.

I know, right? And I learned it all here.

 

[Altissimus]

Do I want to know why you're going to do that?

Yes.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

 

[Smuttyandfun]

View attachment 2272520

Such a versatile word.

 

[Altissimus]

Are you going to tell me?

In about two weeks' time.

 

[Altissimus]

View attachment 2272520

Just scratching the surface, you fucker.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Just scratching the surface, you fucker.

I know, the possibilities are endless.

 

[KachinaDoll]

When you look back through your early stories and hang your head in shame at the frequency of the term 'cum'. Arghhhh!

 

[TxRad]

Being a Lit Author, you know the difference right off the top of your head between nude and naked.

 

[NoTalentHack]

I have a silly anecdote in the spirit of the thread

A relative of mine recently had a stroke; she’s recovering well, and we’re very pleased about that, but the rehab place gave us a bunch of guidelines, treatment plan stuff, etc. One of them was an acronym for when to call 911 in case she might be having another stroke.

A couple days ago, I was just... like, so exhausted. And it popped into my head while I was thinking about something else.

But I could only remember bits about it, not the actual acronym. I knew it started with a B. So I was thinking to myself, "Bread? No, it has two words, and one has two letters. Breed me?”
...
...
...
“What the actual fuck is wrong with me?"

It's "BE FAST," by the way.

 

[MyBareTorso]

... your Anon commenters mark you down - despite your awesome premise, fantastic writing and great sex scenes - because, one paragraph before the end, you accidentally referenced something innocuous they don't like. Like shoelaces. Or Fanta.

...you stopped reading about here - with every intention of continuing in a moment - because you had to just see if your scores had materially changed, or if someone had left a comment.

...you call your S/O from another room in the house and they respond with "Commmmmmming!!"

...you aren't making any progress at all on your writing because you had to take a break to refresh the AH page. Again.

You see a really, really beautiful Brazilian woman in a g-string (thong) sunning herself on the beach, and you think, "I gotta run home and write a story about her!"