You absolute...

[Adrian81]

You absolute juggler

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute fried asparagus.

 

[BikiniBawdy]

You absolute hypocrite

 

[ATrueNewBeginning]

You absolute chud

 

[smtst5]

You absolute knob

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute broken belt.

 

[barefootgirl69]

You absolute wheelie bin.

 

[NudieUser]

You absolute packet

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute 100 yen coin.

 

[LizWetmore]

You absolute wet noodle

 

[Unquoted]

You absolute homonym

 

[F3x0r]

You absolute openreach engineer ( may or may not be related specifically to my day )