You absolute...

[Cwtchseeker]

You absolute wankpuffin

 

[barefootgirl69]

You absolute paper bag

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute chewed up dog toy.

 

[PrissOff]

You absolute wanker.

 

[Statius]

You absolute soggy fry

 

[Taegul]

You absolute pool noodle.

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute lip blister

 

[Statius]

You absolute lip blister

Is that a nicer way of calling someone an

Absolute herpes?

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute broken arrow.

 

[VoraciousValue]

You absolute thread resurrectors.

Hey! I resemble that remark!

 

[VoraciousValue]

You absolute necrotic dickhead!

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute bottomless pit!

 

[Cwtchseeker]

You absolute crusty sock

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute bronze statue.

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute melted crayon

 

[BongoGal]

You absolute lute.

 

[Statius]

You absolute smudge on my readers

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute Smurf hat.

 

[GraiceeGirl]

You absolute cow pie.

 

[ScarletDaisy]

You absolute chipped nail polish

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute ear wax

 

[ScarletDaisy]

You absolute chipped nail polish

You absolute ear wax

(these are oddly complimentary posts. I think @Orwellian69 will approve of us)

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute jumping jumper.

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute hair in my sandwich

 

[Cwtchseeker]

You absolute window licker