You absolute...

[Kat90xx]

You absolute bin diver

 

[PotNoodle79]

You absolute wrong'un

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute pin cushion

 

[Graybear1826]

You absolute crumpet

 

[Taegul]

You absolute navel lint.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute pre-dunked donut!

 

[Graybear1826]

You absolute Ka-NIGIT

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute downward facing dog

 

[Tajiqa]

You absolute cork

The matching item would be "you absolute bung hole"

 

[TomTeacher19]

You absolute jelly donut

 

[Xerxes82]

You absolute crabapple

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute cock cage.

 

[Stephie02]

You absolute period

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute upside-donkey!

 

[LeSabreur]

You absolute rubbish tip!

 

[Stephie02]

You absolute tangled hair

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute American biscuit.

 

[LeSabreur]

You absolute gorgon

 

[PotNoodle79]

You absolute cold cup of tea

 

[Xerxes82]

You absolute beige crayon

 

[Cwtchseeker]

You absolute used tissue

 

[angelofthenorth]

you absolute wet blanket

 

[PotNoodle79]

You absolute frayed carpet

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute pickle spear

 

[PotNoodle79]

You absolute ill fitting suit