You absolute...

[Cwtchseeker]

You absolute toffee apple

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute molar

 

[angelofthenorth]

you absolute peanut

 

[Xerxes82]

You absolute inside straight

 

[Cwtchseeker]

You absolute wankpuffin

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute goblet!

 

[Jodaily]

You absolute nimrod

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute cheap gift card.

 

[Jodaily]

You absolute jack in the box fan

 

[SissyBrandi19]

"You absolute biscuit!" shouted the cracker. The biscuit turned quickly, a dollop of mustard falling off. "Damn cracker" muttered the biscuit, then turned back to the conversation he was having with a prospective client. "So as I was saying, this is a complete enterprise data solution..."

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute layer cake!

 

[Cwtchseeker]

You absolute cuntwaffle

 

[PotNoodle79]

You absolute burst appendix

 

[barefootgirl69]

You absolute sidewalk.

 

[PotNoodle79]

You absolute flat tyre

 

[Apisto42]

You absolute gobshite.

 

[Stephie02]

You absolute goblin

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute troll

 

[PotNoodle79]

You absolute scratchy wool jumper

 

[Bloodandglitter]

You absolute crock pot

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute pressure cooker

 

[RickTango]

You absolute idiot ( as I look in the mirror.)

 

[PotNoodle79]

You absolute pitchfork

 

[Cwtchseeker]

You absolute croissant

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute moldy piece of bread