You absolute...

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute unicycle

 

[Apisto42]

You absolute random spare nut in the junk drawer.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute monkey barrel.

 

[angelofthenorth]

You absolute shower

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute ant hill.

 

[Orwellian69]

You absolute flat beer

 

[Grumpy_OG]

This one's obvious....you absolute pot noodle

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute Lego piece on the floor

 

[Grumpy_OG]

You absolute glass slipper

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute police sketch.

 

[Wandering_Sen]

You absolute Keyser Söze.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute unraveled VHS tape.

 

[angelofthenorth]

You absolute beta max

 

[angelofthenorth]

You absolute wet lettuce

 

[angelofthenorth]

You absolute vicars hand shake

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute 8-track tape

 

[Grumpy_OG]

You absolute torque wrench

 

[Wandering_Sen]

You absolute missing 10mm socket.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute weasel turd!

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute deep fried peanut

 

[DrKinks]

You absolute naked singularity.

 

[Apisto42]

You absolute old cold tea bag

 

[Apisto42]

And in honor of @aussiegeekygal :

You absolute chucklefuck

 

[barefootgirl69]

You absolute bubble wrap.

 

[LeSabreur]

You absolute poxy bastard