Yet another Online relation guy at crossroads

[Leon_k]

A certain lady here, met her long time back.
Fell in true-love [atleast from my side],
both vouched not to hunt lit.personal any more.
Fast forward to one and half year,
Distance online relationship takes its toll. She starts seeing other men behind my back.

- This is my second relationship. I'm too damn tired of working on love-relationship, it requires too much energy and time. If I've to start this all over with third woman (in real or online life), I might just renounce the world and become a priest or join the army. I'm really exhausted going through these cycles.
- All I ever want(ed) is some lady to love and respect me. why is it so tough? or is it just me watching too much romantic movies and novels?

What's your take on this?
I've an advice for you all- Don't go for serious online relationships with too much expectations. It's like drug addiction, easy to get hooked up but hard to get rehabilitated.

 

[JuanVato]

Oh man....

Sounds like your heart is into it, but hers is not. Sorry, it must hurt quite a bit, but sounds like you are at the "make or break" point in this.

 

[Leon_k]

Sounds like your heart is into it, but hers is not. Sorry, it must hurt quite a bit, but sounds like you are at the "make or break" point in this.

Yes, Her sweet voice gives me more kick than a cocaine shot. I'm totally addicted to her. So I suppose the "make or break" is going to be from her side. If only she could see through the formidable walls of internet, how much I love and care for her.

 

[brunette1989]

Well in my opinion there's a time limit to 'online/long-distance' relationships. After about one or two months you should meet the person in person and then if you like each other enough you find a way to regularly see each other. So I think your relationship was doomed from the beginning..

 

[Leon_k]

Well in my opinion there's a time limit to 'online/long-distance' relationships. After about one or two months you should meet the person in person and then if you like each other enough you find a way to regularly see each other. So I think your relationship was doomed from the beginning..

yep no doubt in that, but I was optimistic that it could work somehow, one in a billion case success.

It hurts seeing her talking soo naughty, playful and flirty to random men on am-picture and playground section but she never talked like that to me.
While talking with me, she always wore a sort of fairytale princess tone and persona of some caring lady from romantic novel.
Her posts make me feel like I was an outsider to her world and her life.
I always kept my part of bargain, now I feel cheated.

Is this the same lady I fell in love with?
She knows it hurts me then Why does she do this ? to get some sadistic pleasure?
Did she really tell me everything true about her profession and real life?

Empty mind is devil's house and now devil has invited an interior-decorator.

 

[Leon_k]

Time to go offline.
Hope the time heals the wounds and sooths the pain.

Anyways, those folks here in serious-online relationship, or wanting to get in serious-online relationship, please do take some lessons and precautions from my case.

 

[SweetErika]

You have all of the information you need to make a really good decision on this. My strong opinion is you need to make that logical and intuitive decision and convey it to her immediately via email or PM. Tell her that it's become clear that there's no future in romance for the two of you and you wish her well in her romantic and other pursuits. That's it. Then don't allow yourself to be manipulated back in - block her/put her on ignore or whatever if you need to for your own sanity.

If you don't end this, you're just allowing yourself to play a victim, and that's not healthy (neither is the 'I've been in two relationships now and they're hard, so I'm giving up' bit).

Then set some rules for yourself if you do meet someone else online in the future. Those could include only meeting people who are close enough to meet in person, meeting in a public place after a reasonable period of time, not putting up with anyone who is likely lying or won't show themselves, breaking it off if there are red flags, etc. Set your boundaries, make them clear to the other person and stick to them so you don't put yourself in this position again. Live and learn, right?