Wrong Reasons For Sex?

[SEVERUSMAX]

I strongly doubt that they even exist. To me, your reasons are your own business, and I don't have the right to judge you, nor you the right to judge me. It's your body (as the pro-choice side likes to trumpet), so it's your CHOICE. That's my take on the issue. I refuse to castigate some choices because others don't think that they are healthy or PC enough.

 

[Recidiva]

I've heard one. My daughter's attracted to a guy and she wants to do it because she wants to get it "over with" so she can stop thinking about him.

Not good enough. 'Specially since he's an ass and would not be good at all at making her have a good experience.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

But bad sex can be good for you, too. It can teach you things that you wouldn't know about people and what you want and don't want. And it can teach you to appreciate good sex.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

As a matter of fact, I think that people are too risk-averse these days, when it comes to emotions, negative experiences, etc. They do not always realize the value of a bad experience in life.

 

[Munachi]

there was a time when i had sex because i thought everyone else had sex and thus i should, too. in retrospect i think that was a bad reason. though i guess my experiences are part of what makes me the person i am.

and well, bad sex (of which unfortunately i had quite a bit) does make me appreciate good sex more - but for that, once or twice bad sex would have been enough...

 

[3113]

But bad sex can be good for you, too. It can teach you things that you wouldn't know about people and what you want and don't want. And it can teach you to appreciate good sex.

But not for a FIRST TIME. A first time bad sex can leave a lasting impression--especially if it's so bad as to be close to rape, which sex with a really wrong guy can be like.

I assure you, Sev, that a woman who's had sex that bad will not appreciate good sex. She won't appreciate sex at all.

You want okay first time sex...then you can go through good/bad or bad/good sex.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I have migranes. On GF offered to have sex, saying it sometimes helped. It sometimes does, but when it dosen, Oy vey.

So it's a very bad reason, ifn the headache dosen't go away

 

[3113]

As for wrong reasons for sex...how about sex to control the other person? How about sex as a way of revenge on someone else? To hurt someone else's feeling? So that you can laugh and mock the person you have sex with in the morning--and maybe spread the word about their secret fetishes? How about sex with someone so you can rob them blind or blackmail them?

I kinda think you'd find them to be wrong reasons to have sex if they were the reasons used by a person for having sex with you.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I have migranes. On GF offered to have sex, saying it sometimes helped. It sometimes does, but when it dosen, Oy vey.

So it's a very bad reason, ifn the headache dosen't go away

I can see how it would help and wouldn't help.

As for first-time sex, it's not going to be but SOOO great. After all, it's like ripping off a bandage. You have to do it, sooner or later, so do it abruptly. My first time was the worst that I ever had. It's only gotten better ever since. Don't know about others.

First time for women, well, it depends on how rational she is and how much she does the "guilt by association, all men are rapists, scum, liars" thing or not.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

As for wrong reasons for sex...how about sex to control the other person? How about sex as a way of revenge on someone else? To hurt someone else's feeling? So that you can laugh and mock the person you have sex with in the morning--and maybe spread the word about their secret fetishes? How about sex with someone so you can rob them blind or blackmail them?

I kinda think you'd find them to be wrong reasons to have sex if they were the reasons used by a person for having sex with you.

Wrong acts, yes. Wrong reasons, no. I'm not worried about being "used". It doesn't cheapen me. I have my reasons and they have theirs. I have insurance, and I am not easily blackmailed or scared of being revealed for a Dom. If they want to mock, that's their problem. The acts surrounding the sex are wrong, but not the sex itself. And I have nothing against revenge. Hurting someone? That's their beef and their conscience that they have to sort out. I wouldn't sleep with someone who was cheating for no good reason. But cheating is not regular sex. It's cheating, inherently deceptive. You DO need a good reason for that.

 

[zeb1094]

Like the old saying goes:

Even bad sex is better than a good day at work!

 

[Recidiva]

First time for women, well, it depends on how rational she is and how much she does the "guilt by association, all men are rapists, scum, liars" thing or not.

Actually I would think it depends on how much the two people care for each other and are willing and happy to please each other.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

there was a time when i had sex because i thought everyone else had sex and thus i should, too. in retrospect i think that was a bad reason. though i guess my experiences are part of what makes me the person i am.

and well, bad sex (of which unfortunately i had quite a bit) does make me appreciate good sex more - but for that, once or twice bad sex would have been enough...

Your experiences, good and bad, are part of your personality. Accept them, use them, and turn them to your benefit.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Actually I would think it depends on how much the two people care for each other and are willing and happy to please each other.

I was talking about how a woman reacted to a bad experience.

 

[Recidiva]

Your experiences, good and bad, are part of your personality. Accept them, use them, and turn them to your benefit.

Sounds like you know the answer to the question before you ask it.

This is a fatalistic approach to sex, that "even the bad teaches you something."

That's like a fatalistic approach to your diet and eating everything offered, even if you're allergic and it's poisonous.

Sometimes you say no for very good reasons.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Like the old saying goes:

Even bad sex is better than a good day at work!

Soooo true. Though not better than a good chicken-fried steak with mashed potatoes.

 

[Recidiva]

I was talking about how a woman reacted to a bad experience.

And I was talking about how a bad attitude and faulty reasoning can create it.

 

[zeb1094]

Soooo true. Though not better than a good chicken-fried steak with mashed potatoes.

Yum, chicken fried steak!

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Sounds like you know the answer to the question before you ask it.

This is a fatalistic approach to sex, that "even the bad teaches you something."

That's like a fatalistic approach to your diet and eating everything offered, even if you're allergic and it's poisonous.

Sometimes you say no for very good reasons.

Well, I didn't mean to come off fatalistic. Just Nietzschian.

And I don't think that you need reasons to say "No", either. Your body, your business.

 

[Recidiva]

Well, I didn't mean to come off fatalistic. Just Nietzschian.

And I don't think that you need reasons to say "No", either. Your body, your business.

So if reason is involved, then there have got to be good reasons and bad reasons, just like anything you take into your system. You don't want poisonous thought, poisonous food or poisonous sex.

 

[zeb1094]

I've heard one. My daughter's attracted to a guy and she wants to do it because she wants to get it "over with" so she can stop thinking about him.

Not good enough. 'Specially since he's an ass and would not be good at all at making her have a good experience.

Having sex with someone just to get it over with is a bad choice, especially if that person has no concern for you or your feelings. I hope mom's judgement will prevail in this situation.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

And I was talking about how a bad attitude and faulty reasoning can create it.

Well, I hope that I never do that to a girl and ruin it for some guy (or the girl, for that matter). However, if a girl was selfish in bed with me, I would simply mark her off as "bad news" and move on with my life. I wouldn't tag all women with the same label.

 

[Recidiva]

Well, I hope that I never do that to a girl and ruin it for some guy (or the girl, for that matter). However, if a girl was selfish in bed with me, I would simply mark her off as "bad news" and move on with my life. I wouldn't tag all women with the same label.

I didn't mention gender, I think men and women are equally capable of having sex for stupid reasons that have little to do with the sensation.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

So if reason is involved, then there have got to be good reasons and bad reasons, just like anything you take into your system. You don't want poisonous thought, poisonous food or poisonous sex.

Hmmm....poisonous sex. Well, I hope never to let sex be a poisoning experience. I guess that I tend to assume a certain level of responsibility for reacting to an experience. Rather than blame an entire sex, I prefer to blame an individual and move on with my life.

I know. I've had unpleasant experiences with women. I just don't let it poison me. I refuse to be a victim.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I didn't mention gender, I think men and women are equally capable of having sex for stupid reasons that have little to do with the sensation.

Equally capable of stupidity, yes. Who isn't?