Writing non-binary characters

ColtonWrites

Secret Romantic
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Nov 4, 2025
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I am currently writing a dubcon-to-romance with a non binary main character. I'm curious what others have experienced when they write this sort of character.

I "discovery write" my characters - I started this story with some names and a vague idea of the plot, and just ran with it. So as usual for me, I didnt know much about Ari (the main character) when I started writing. I let my characters tell me who they are as I go.

Well, Ari doesnt want to tell me much. Including what genitals they have! Which is like, okay fair, that shouldn't matter most of the time. But I have TWO sex scenes written and I STILL dont know what's happening down there!
I have no idea if this will resonate with the audience but its been interesting to write.
 
I am currently writing a dubcon-to-romance with a non binary main character. I'm curious what others have experienced when they write this sort of character.

I "discovery write" my characters - I started this story with some names and a vague idea of the plot, and just ran with it. So as usual for me, I didnt know much about Ari (the main character) when I started writing. I let my characters tell me who they are as I go.

Well, Ari doesnt want to tell me much. Including what genitals they have! Which is like, okay fair, that shouldn't matter most of the time. But I have TWO sex scenes written and I STILL dont know what's happening down there!
I have no idea if this will resonate with the audience but its been interesting to write.
Hermaphrodite lol
 
I'd approach this from "what does the story require."

Maybe the answer is, it doesn't require one set of genitals or another. But: Does the other character react to it in some kind of a way? Does the other character discover it as a surprise? Does the other character already know the NB's AGAB? Does the story need a reveal when the clothes finally come off? Or can it be signaled at some other time in some other way?

This seems like a good place to see if the "three why's" technique would help.

Your MC is non-binary.

Why?

Answer that question for yourself. Ordinarily I'd counsel to answer it in a strictly in-character way, but, there's usually no "why" to why someone is queer. So in this case what if you tried answering it in an out-of-character way? Why do you write an NB character?

Great, take that answer. But don't let it lie: Whatever the answer you come up with is, ask "why?" again.

Then do it again with the second answer. And whatever the third answer is will probably be something you weren't aware of when you got the idea to write this story. Hopefully, it will be something which shows you more of what the story needs.

Here, let me provide a couple of links to examples of how the "three why's" tool works:

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/in-character.1640587/post-101521967

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/just-venting.1639949/post-101470740

Maybe you could try it both ways: While there's no reason why someone is queer (they "just are"), it's possible that asking "why is this character non-binary" from an in-character point of view could also yield some ideas or insight. I guess the question would be about something like why they came out, or why they realized they don't conform to binary gender, or why they are attracted to the other character.

What do you think? Do you feel like knowing why your character is non-binary would help you to decide what their AGAB was or whether it ever needs to be revealed at all?
 
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And what if you don't reveal it? How would/could you handle that?

I think it could be handled from the NB MC's point of view: Maybe they identify so strongly as non-male and non-female that their personal experience of their own genitals can be narrated without reference to binary-giveaway words.

Everyone has a "glans." Everyone (unless altered) has a "prepuce." Everyone has fluids they excrete or emit. Everyone orgasms, everyone feels sexual thrill, everyone has erogenous zones besides their male-only part or their female-only part.

Could your NB character be like this? Could the narration follow from an experience of identity which is non-binary or non-gendered? Could the story work, without ever asking the MC to present a thought or statement or narration which could only proceed from an awareness of a gender identity?

Or is it a different kind of story? Is it about the NB MC's non-concordant experience? Is it about dysphoria regarding their anatomy? Does the story depend on a conflict with their AGAB? If so, why? why? why? Then after three why's, then you might know "which."
 
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