Writing a story, hoping for some suggestions on twists...

[LunarSolstice]

Springboard from Fight Club where Tyler has to fuck Marla all night so she doesnt OD

Okay, well I have to actually give credit to Chuck Palahniuk for this one, but in his book Fight Club I'm sure you all remember the scene where Marla Singer takes a few too many pills and Tyler Durden has to keep her up all night to keep her from ODing or whatever.

This just struck me as a great idea for a piece of erotica! I have the basic outline worked out, you got your girl, your guy, your little empty pharmaceutical tube that used to be filled with some form of barbiturates. Now I need some ideas as to how he can keep her awake all night, because, hey, while we all romanticize about a long night of hard sex, the basic rule of friction means that if you try to pull that off, one of you are going to burst into a campfire eventually. So I need little creative twists if anybody has any ideas.

 

[intriguess]

sounds like a great BDSM piece, through in some pain (which may not be so painful if she's drugged up) a little torturing to keep her awake, I know cold showers/bath are a good way to keep someone awake as normally your body has to be warm to sleep, or it could be a tease piece where she is kept from cumming all night, frustrating her on the edge because he doesn't know if she'll get relaxed and drift off after cumming or whatever.

 

[Guest]

I have to agree with intriguess, it does sound like more of a case of BDSM than Actual sex.

Torture, no matter what some say, can be exciting if done right. Some torture can even be fun for the "Victim." Things like tickling or being physically teased, they get pleasured but no satisfaction.

You could also have some fun with the girl. She's OD'd on drugs, she isn't in her right mind. I don't know that much about barbituates, but I would imagine that OD'ing would screw with the head. Who knows what she could or might do. For example: She breaks away from him and Runs out of the house naked. He then has to go search for her. She could even INITIATE the sex in this way. He's doing the right and innocent thing, walking her around, trying to keep her awake, with her a bit out of her skull she begins fighting, gets him on the floor and rips his clothes off.

For an ending, you could have the girl get VERY upset the next morning when she comes out of her haze and finds herself naked with this man that she doesn't remember inviting over. She starts accusing him of rape.

Just a few of my ideas.

 

[LunarSolstice]

Hmm!

Yesss...intriguing! In my mindset, basically the man is going to be more or less a boyscout in the beginning, but the things he has to go through to keep her awake begin to become so taxing he has to resort to more and more extreme measures.

 

[peterpan]

Ack! why does everybody jump immediately on this torture word!

Though suggestions like 'tickling' and 'even fun for the victim' deserves some sort of acolades...

anyway: tickling, cold water, ice, exercise, dancing, smacking, coffee is a bad idea I guess, smoking?, loud noise. Lots of weird BDSM-like devices that trigger if she relaxes (but why would a boyscout have those lying around? I saw an advert for a device once that was meant to help you build muscle with electric shocks, really kinky looking and I guess not painful), tying her hands to something above her so she can't sit or lie down. Pretty much any marital aid especially one with batteries, other people to help keep her awake..

---

I have often heard this reference to keeping people with concussion concious etc, but never understood it... Certainly throwing up and drowning in it is a possibility, but not a very sexy one (and just hang her by her heels might solve that one )

This might not be the sort of direction you are looking for, but if you just put a slight cyberpunk spin on it, even a mere five years in the future, you could have some fantasy drug that has whatever properties you want the reader to beleive in, and specifically, explains why the content gets so sexual (as opposed to him just slapping her lots or getting her to bike around the living room or something.

Perhaps the drug was designed to make everything more pleasurable, prolong orgasm etc while numbing pain. So pain might be simply ineffective, whereas the slightest stroke makes her shudder even though she is only seconds from unconciousness.

Another idea (appologies for getting intrusive on your idea) would be that rather than OD'ing, this could be what cold turkey involved for that particular drug. Remember all the arcane preparations in 'Trainspotting'?

 

[Guest]

I apologize for a poor choice of words but the idea is valid.

As for why a boy scout would have these things laying around... if you follow the plot of Fight Club, he would be at HER house, not at his. She calls, he gets worried that she's going to do or has already done something stupid.. ie: OD on Barbituates, he rushes over to her aide. Finds her possibly already passed out on the bed. He fights to get her concious and awake. Then comes the trouble Of KEEPING her awake.

 

[LunarSolstice]

Peterpan...Dont worry at all about stepping on my idea! Thats why I posted it, to get some feedback, ideas, twists etc. And just an FYI, I loved the movie Trainspotting ^_^

Well, your not supposed to let them go to sleep because as I understand it the brain could go just basically into a sleep mode. I guess its like, if your worried your car wont start, as long as you keep it running its good, but if you turn it off, then find out the battery is dead and cant kick the alternator on, than your SOL.

I liked the cyberpunk angle...there is this semi B rated DVD I own called Strange Days, where in the future they have this device made so police could perform stings more effectively, and what it does is records what the wearer sees and how they feel while the recording is in process. At one point in the movie, the killer puts a headset connected to the recorder on him and rapes a chick with a knife, so at the same time she was being raped, shes watching herself be raped and feeling the rapist's enthusiasm etc.

Now thats a pretty perverse delineation, but I was just demonstating how your ideas springboarded me into other ideas, and Im sure some of the people reading my ideas would get ideas of their own...

The whole million monkeys at a million typewritters theory...

 

[peterpan]

I think that movie would have been alot more enjoyable if he had just tickled her. I mean, if you are ticklish, and you just KNOW somebody is going to tickle you, thats horror.

Come to think of it, I think a lot of tales would have been improved if the villains just tickled people: Joan of Arc, Easter, The diary of Ann Frank, The entire WWII come to think of it.

 

[wildsweetone]

tickling...

with a feather on the soles of the feet... ooooohhh boy

it's also common knowledge that light can keep a person awake. think about night shift workers and how they stay awake...?

 

[peterpan]

Re: tickling...

with a feather on the soles of the feet... ooooohhh boy

Also the circumference of the lips, especially if you are paralysed.

Ive often had this feeling that a mind can set wrong just like a bone, and if the mind could be broken (driven temporarily mad by pleasure etc) then it could reset better the next time around. I guess that was where I was seeing the lips idea being used.