Wow! A European Banker Needs Me!

[3113]

Just got this. Apparently I'm a "trustworthy" person who can help these people commit fraud! I didn't know one could be both And I know what you're all thinking, but don't any of you try to contact Mr. Patrick there. He wrote to me and I'm the only one he trusts to pass myself off as kin to Mr. John Anderson. That percentage of $70.5 is mine!

Dear Friend,
I know this email may come to you as a surprise, due to the fact that you don’t know me neither have we met. My name is Mr. Philip Patrick; I work with one of the banks in Europe. I am contacting you based on properties allocation.
However, my main reason for contacting you is to seek and reach a mutual agreement with you. Thus I'll need your assistance to enable me and my colleagues transfer the sum of US$70.5 Million (equivalent), which is to be used mostly on Properties.

The fund (US$70.5 Million), which is now in an Escrow Account at the bank, came about after all efforts to trace the Next of Kin of Mr. John Anderson a deceased Architect from United State of America. The said Mr. John Anderson, until his death in an automobile accident on April 21st 2006 was a Customer with the bank. Upon his death, the bank sort to trace his relations and next of kin to enable the deceased relatives proceed for claims of his fund but all efforts failed. Some top staffs of this bank and me transferred the fund into an escrow account pending till we find a trustworthy person or firm into whose possession we will transfer this fund for our mutual benefits. Reasons for these steps are to avoid a situation where at the end of this quarter, the directors of this bank will confiscate the account and share this money amongst them.

What we intend to do if you accept, is to use you as a Next of Kin of the late Mr. John Anderson and transfer this fund to you. Having stated the above, if you are interested in this mutual beneficiary transaction, you should contact me ASAP via this email address: philippatrick01@i12.com expecting a mutual business relationship with you.

 

[TxRad]

I wonder if that is the same Phillip Patrick that offered me a percentage of that South African diamond mine if I'd help him get the money out of his country.

Naw, it couldn't be

 

[Miss_Misaki]

Just got this. Apparently I'm a "trustworthy" person who can help these people commit fraud! I didn't know one could be both And I know what you're all thinking, but don't any of you try to contact Mr. Patrick there. He wrote to me and I'm the only one he trusts to pass myself off as kin to Mr. John Anderson. That percentage of $70.5 is mine!

Dear Friend,
I know this email may come to you as a surprise, due to the fact that you don’t know me (1) neither have we met. My name is Mr. Philip Patrick; I work with one of the banks in Europe. I am contacting you based on properties allocation.
However, my main reason for contacting you is to seek and reach a mutual agreement with you. Thus (2) I'll need your assistance to enable me and my colleagues (3) transfer the sum of US$70.5 Million (equivalent), which is to be used mostly on Properties (4).

The fund (US$70.5 Million), which is now in an Escrow Account (5) at the bank, came about after all efforts to trace the Next of Kin (6) of Mr. John Anderson (7) a deceased Architect (8) from United State (9) of America. The said Mr. John Anderson, until his death in an automobile accident on April 21st (10) 2006 was a Customer (11) with the bank. Upon his death, the bank sort (12) to trace his relations and next of kin to enable the deceased relatives proceed (13) for claims of his fund (14) but all efforts failed. Some top staffs (15) of this bank and me (16) transferred the fund into an escrow account pending till (17) we find a trustworthy person or firm into whose possession we will transfer this fund for our mutual benefits (18). Reasons for these steps are to avoid a situation where at the end of this quarter, the directors of this bank will confiscate the account and share this money amongst them.

What we intend to do if you accept, (19) is to use you as a Next of Kin (20) of the late Mr. John Anderson and transfer this fund to you. Having stated the above, if you are interested in this mutual beneficiary transaction, you should contact me ASAP via this email address: philippatrick01@i12.com (21) expecting a mutual business relationship with you.

Yeah... I love these kinds of phishing emails. They don't even bother to correct their own grammar mistakes, rendering them even less believable.

(1) Missing either a coordinating conjunction, a semicolon, or a full stop and a capital letter.
(2) Comma needed.
(3) The word "to" needed to make the infinitive form of the verb "transfer"
(4) Unnecessary capitalization.
(5) Unnecessary capitalization.
(6) Unnecessary capitalization.
(7) Comma needed.
(8) Unnecessary capitalization.
(9) There is more than one United State of America, when last I counted.
(10) Comma needed.
(11) Unnecessary capitalization.
(12) Should use the word "sought" instead of "sort."
(13) What the heck is this even trying to say???
(14) Comma needed.
(15) Should use the word "staff" instead of "staffs."
(16) Should use the personal pronoun "I" instead of "me," as it is still in the nominative case.
(17) Should use the word "until" instead of "till."
(18) Should use the word "benefit" instead of "benefits."
(19) Comma misuse. Remove this comma.
(20) Unnecessary capitalization.
(21) Place a period here, and give a subject to the next sentence.

 

[glynndah]

Hey! When my Nigerian fortune comes in, can you get me a good interest rate from your European banker friend?

 

[Liar]

Psst! Jaques... Hans... Björn... Code tangerine, I repeat, CODE TANGERINE! We've been exposed. Cut that mail forward adress as fast as a Frankfurt Frau in frills, and zip up the Swiss account ASAP. We've been exposed, I repeat, we've been more exposed than a gang of Brit Brats on Ibiza. Abort, and for the love of real beer, real football and socialism, cover your traces.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Haven't they found John Anderson's next of kin yet? I remember getting an email just like that. (addressed to unnamed recipients) However, I was too honest and trustworthy to be a part of such a fraud.

It certainly speaks well for the honesty of most folks that these guys still haven't found somebody to participate in their fell scheme.

 

[3113]

Yeah... I love these kinds of phishing emails. They don't even bother to correct their own grammar mistakes, rendering them even less believable.

Excuse me, but this is a European Banker, not a grammarian. Are grammarians rich? I think not. The bad grammar assures me that this gent has to be the real thing. Obviously, he's so busy with making money that he has no time to study up on his language skills.

 

[TxRad]

Excuse me, but this is a European Banker, not a grammarian. Are grammarians rich? I think not. The bad grammar assures me that this gent has to be the real thing. Obviously, he's so busy with making money that he has no time to study up on his language skills.

Or his sexytery wasn't hired for her typing skills.

 

[TE999]

Slightly OT: Now that Ed McMahon's worm food, who's going to give away those millions from Publishers Clearing House? I may already be a winner and I was looking forward to meeting Ed.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Or his sexytery wasn't hired for her typing skills.

Since this is a pretty shady scheme, he might have written it himself, instead of getting his popsy involved. An MBA doesn't require grammar skills, although it would require Composition101

 

[3113]

Or his sexytery wasn't hired for her typing skills.

See, TxRad, you understand. He must be the real thing. Only the filthy rich would hire a typist for her ability to give a really good Swedish massage rather than type.

Slightly OT: Now that Ed McMahon's worm food, who's going to give away those millions from Publishers Clearing House?

Zombie Ed McMahon?