Would you turn your child in?

[Breaker_Morant]

Dynamite is an acceptable fishing tool,

Thanks Homburg - that one made me laugh (and I needed one)

 

[Breaker_Morant]

I've read a lot about discipline, and I feel confident in saying that it's not the spanking that's missing - it's the respect. According to the research, it's possible to spank your kids and have it be effective, but it's also just as possible they'll say, mommy hits me, why can't I hit someone? Or just mimic the behavior, if you do it before they can verbalize and understand the difference between punishment and violence. One of the keys would be that you do it completely calmly. Frankly, when I get pissed off, the last thing I need to be doing is spanking a kid. I'm scary enough without using corporal punishment. Discipline begins from the beginning with kids. I can't sum it up in one paragraph, and since this is a porn board, I doubt anyone wants me to. My general point is, wouldn't it be nice if spanking were the easy answer? It's not.

Very well said - and you told me that I was wrong as rain going up and in a nice way too.

 

[FurryFury]

I don't believe in spanking but if it's to be done, for GODS sakes, I think parents should do it when you are out of control and passionate about it. There is no other "excuse" to do such a thing in my book.

It's important to apologies when you fuck up this badly with your kids IMO too. I've always done that. It's good modeling for when they fuck up.

All this crap about being calm and doing for their own good makes me want to gag. There are far better methods of discipline believe me I know.

From someone who was spanked, hit and beaten as a child and has, thank God, rarely spanked or hit her, very well behaved, kids.

 

[intothewoods]

I don't believe in spanking but if it's to be done, for GODS sakes, I think parents should do it when you are out of control and passionate about it. There is no other "excuse" to do such a thing in my book.

It's important to apologies when you fuck up this badly with your kids IMO too. I've always done that. It's good modeling for when they fuck up.

All this crap about being calm and doing for their own good makes me want to gag. There are far better methods of discipline believe me I know.

From someone who was spanked, hit and beaten as a child and has, thank God, rarely spanked or hit her, very well behaved, kids.

I think I'm missing what you're saying. If you're not disciplining them for their own good, who are you doing it for?

Not sure if this was clear, but I'm not suggesting anyone calmly beat the shit out of their child. Frankly, I'm tough, but don't spank, as I explained above. But I do know one good parent who does occasionally give a light swat. It's not the only tool in her box, but she does do it once in a while, when necessary. I'd rather use her method of I'm the parent, you did x, here is the consequence, than an out of control pissed off, damn it, so and so!, with an angry whack. That's all I'm saying.

 

[FurryFury]

I think I'm missing what you're saying. If you're not disciplining them for their own good, who are you doing it for?

Not sure if this was clear, but I'm not suggesting anyone calmly beat the shit out of their child. Frankly, I'm tough, but don't spank, as I explained above. But I do know one good parent who does occasionally give a light swat. It's not the only tool in her box, but she does do it once in a while, when necessary. I'd rather use her method of I'm the parent, you did x, here is the consequence, than an out of control pissed off, damn it, so and so!, with an angry whack. That's all I'm saying.

IMO, you don't hit a child for their own good period. You do it because you are mad, out of control, in a rage and so on. If you truly want to effectively discipline you use other methods.

So many people say, we spank but we spank for their own good and only when we are calm. This strikes me as such bullshit I can't even begin to express it.

As a child I heard, "This hurts us more than it hurts you." and "We are doing this for your own good." Yeah. Right.

I firmly believe hitting leads to many things, none of them good for the child or society. In my case it lead to me being angry and sneaky, certainly not "good."

Discipline on the other hand and facing the consequences of your own actions, lead to good things for a child and society.

 

[caela]

I'm not talking about beating the kid to within an inch of its life but just some attention grabbing, butt blistering corporal punishment.

Just a quick comment on this. I personally like the way I've been told my Grandfather handled corporal punishment. Once his kids were old enough to understand how to make decisions he would give them one when they did something wrong. If it was something where it was deemed that corporal punishment was appropriate they had a choice; they could take their spanking and be stuck in their room for a set amount of time (typically an hour sometimes more or less depending on the infraction) or they could be grounded to their rooms for a week or more. Oh and when Grandpa said grounded he meant it, you were only allowed to leave the room for school, the bathroom, meals, and chores and none of the kids had radios or tv's in their rooms. So grounded meant grounded and it often meant extra chores as well on the theory that they'd be too busy working to get into more trouble.

Most of them chose the spanking.

 

[intothewoods]

IMO, you don't hit a child for their own good period. You do it because you are mad, out of control, in a rage and so on. If you truly want to effectively discipline you use other methods.

So many people say, we spank but we spank for their own good and only when we are calm. This strikes me as such bullshit I can't even begin to express it.

As a child I heard, "This hurts us more than it hurts you." and "We are doing this for your own good." Yeah. Right.

I firmly believe hitting leads to many things, none of them good for the child or society. In my case it lead to me being angry and sneaky, certainly not "good."

Discipline on the other hand and facing the consequences of your own actions, lead to good things for a child and society.

I think in 99 percent of the cases, you're right, and again, I don't spank, but I have known one mother who did utilize it as one tool of many. She didn't really spank hard - it was more of a flick to get their attention. Look, I'm a good parent. I know good parenting when I see it. I'm not justifying abuse, I'm just saying that it is possible to use some form of physical punishment without being the stereotypical, rage-filed parent.

 

[FurryFury]

I think in 99 percent of the cases, you're right, and again, I don't spank, but I have known one mother who did utilize it as one tool of many. She didn't really spank hard - it was more of a flick to get their attention. Look, I'm a good parent. I know good parenting when I see it. I'm not justifying abuse, I'm just saying that it is possible to use some form of physical punishment without being the stereotypical, rage-filed parent.

Oh, I didn't think you were a bad parent. I was just pointing so things that are very important to me because of my experiences that's all.

I'm against hitting and spanking too but on occasion I've done it. I've also said I was wrong and asked to be forgiven. If an adult can not control themselves and/or admit when they are wrong how are we to teach kids?

 

[intothewoods]

Oh, I didn't think you were a bad parent. I was just pointing so things that are very important to me because of my experiences that's all.

I'm against hitting and spanking too but on occasion I've done it. I've also said I was wrong and asked to be forgiven. If an adult can not control themselves and/or admit when they are wrong how are we to teach kids?

I didn't think you were saying that. I just wanted to make clear where I'm coming from - I'm not a regular spanker justifying her actions.

 

[Homburg]

I have four kids. I can count the number of actual spankings delivered on one hand (and most were for lying. The child in question has learned his lesson). That said, a swat on the butt happens. When I get ticked off, I raise my voice. That's how it works. I don't spank, or swat, or any sort of pain when I'm angry. Aside from getting the child physically out of whatever situation they've gotten into, I avoid contact when I'm obviously irritated.

Let's face it, I'm a little scary looking, especially to a little kid. When I'm grumpy, I'm more scary. So I endeavour to 1) not show that side too often, and 2) not touch the kids or get in their faces when I'm pissed at em.

The upside is that my kids are likely to win the "My dad can beat up your dad" arguments.

 

[FurryFury]

I didn't think you were saying that. I just wanted to make clear where I'm coming from - I'm not a regular spanker justifying her actions.

Cool! I think we "get" each other now!

 

[FurryFury]

I have four kids. I can count the number of actual spankings delivered on one hand (and most were for lying. The child in question has learned his lesson). That said, a swat on the butt happens. When I get ticked off, I raise my voice. That's how it works. I don't spank, or swat, or any sort of pain when I'm angry. Aside from getting the child physically out of whatever situation they've gotten into, I avoid contact when I'm obviously irritated.

Let's face it, I'm a little scary looking, especially to a little kid. When I'm grumpy, I'm more scary. So I endeavour to 1) not show that side too often, and 2) not touch the kids or get in their faces when I'm pissed at em.

The upside is that my kids are likely to win the "My dad can beat up your dad" arguments.

Yeah my kids were pretty scared of their Dad. He was always pissed off when they were young or so it seemed.

 

[Homburg]

Yeah my kids were pretty scared of their Dad. He was always pissed off when they were young or so it seemed.

Eh, I'm rarely pissed off (well, so long as I exercise enough and keep my BP under control).

 

[FurryFury]

Eh, I'm rarely pissed off (well, so long as I exercise enough and keep my BP under control).

LOL!

He thinks he is mellow! He really is, compared to his birth family. That's what's funny.

To the rest of us, he seems mightily pissed off often. It doesn't upset us now as much as it used to.