Would you let it go?

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Say that someone lied to you


Lied to you and sent you pictures of a girl they used to know...

Sent you pictures of two different girls... expecting that you wouldn't pay attention enough to them to know...

Then they sent pictures of a child that wasn't theirs....

and created an entire story based upon these lies.....

You talked every day on the computer...but never on the phone...... and when you got curious as to why they never used voice chat.... or they never would let you call them......... and then suddenly you get a voice file that they had some girl record you

You book a flight to another country..... and then suddenly... this person you thought you were so close to...... decides that they just don't want to see you anymore.....


You take the flight anyway....... because she sends you an email before you are scheduled to leave that she loves you... you go to this other country... hoping to meet the one person who has inspired such feeling....... only to find that you are basically stranded in an unknown country for a couple of months.

Amazingly... a friend you had talked to picks you up and helps you find a place to stay.....

then your love's 'brother' shows up at your motel room... with pictures and a card.......... but no love.......


Later on you find out that this was all a hoax......... made up by.... guess who???








THE BROTHER...


who never really had a sister....... who was using pics to see how fast they could get someone to come all the way to meet 'her' just for kicks...


would you try to press some kind of charges??? or would you accept what you had found out... and let it go?
 
The fact that someone let it go THAT far simply shows their stupidity. Can't sue for your own stupidity. The white flag could have been thrown down MANY times before winding up in a motel in a foreign country.
 
I'd let it go and chalk it up to a great, big, fat, ugly, painful learning experience. And then I'd sit and think about what I was looking so hard for that I would travel halfway across the world to try and find it with someone I'd never met, and why I couldn't find it in my own backyard.
 
but what if you really liked this person..... love is blind sometimes.......
yes the white flag could've been thrown up at any time...


and no I don't think the person I am referring to is stupid.
they went with their feelings.... and they had no idea that they weren't 'typing' to the girl in the pictures......
 
This sounds like something that happened here some time ago with Bossie Aussie and three men she was playing.

Press charges, because if you don't they will do it again.

Is it worth someone else going through what you (or whomever you are talking about) has? I don't think so.

I guess there are really good and really bad parts about the internet.

Sad, Sad person that does this to someone. Don't even give the respect of thinking about not charging them.

Good luck.
 
The person doesn't have to be stupid. This kind of thing happens to intelligent people all the time. But I think you kind of have to assume, in using the internet to meet people, that not everybody is going to be what they say they are. I think that really should be a given going into the deal. I'm sorry that whoever it was got sucked in to this sicko's game, but what would you press charges for? And would you even want to or would the embarrassment you already feel just be exacerbated by making it public?
 
I don't mean to insult your friend, Jaded, but the fact that this person's "love of their life" would not talk on the telephone (toll free to them!) or voice chat says something. Same with sending pics of different ladies and playing it off to be the same person! And, "she" said DON'T COME, but your friend did anyway? The person may not be stupid, but his/her actions are! I'm sorry. Just MHO.
 
Well, I think my experience with internet relations is totally jaded (no pun intended), and so I know it would be VERY VERY hard, but hopefully you could just walk away and forget as much as you could. I have ears, so I'll listen!
 
Tiggs said:
I don't mean to insult your friend, Jaded, but the fact that this person's "love of their life" would not talk on the telephone (toll free to them!) or voice chat says something. Same with sending pics of different ladies and playing it off to be the same person! And, "she" said DON'T COME, but your friend did anyway? The person may not be stupid, but his/her actions are! I'm sorry. Just MHO.

I understand your opinion. It would sound odd to me.... but sometimes you try to have a little faith in people. and thats what got 'him' in this trouble to begin with.
 
Chalk that one up as a bad experience...

...a very bad one.

But life must go on. We are lied to everyday but if we let it hold us down then we will drown. So I suggest to your friend to look past all that has happened and go on to the next experience a little wiser and with both eyes open.
 
what people dont realise is that this guy did this for over three years to lots of other people...three years..doesnt that tell you something!!!

i got sucked in..big time.....

i gave this peron the benefit of the doubt because i was far too trusting.......

the "girl" manipulated me so bad..shed been beaten by her ex, and had a young child was a single parent..... i felt that i had to show that i was genuine and real by proving that i could go to the states to show her there were good guys out there.....

at worse case scenario i thought yeh maybe shes used someones elses pix.....never did it really occur to me that it was some guy getting his kicks and some kinda power buzz... he took it way too far and even continued it in the USA when i was there for another further 2 months, and then almost 3 months when i got back, changing stories...but i pursued it til he admitted the truth.

All I know is that the guy is weird, he's abusive and needs checking out, and well if people take the same attitude that most people seem to have ie "let it go"...then that is bad in itself...

it would be greatly irresponsible not to have him checked out by people that have the power to do this and to ensure he doesnt go using little babies pics on the net...worst of all the fact his mom babysits this kid, and that kids mother is probably not even aware that he was using the kids pix.....

very very irresponsible, and i think she has a right to know who she is leaving her kid in care with.... more than anything!!!!

Yeh i was dumb enough to fall for it all, but that doesnt excuse any of what he did to lots of others including me and many girls whos images he used etc etc not to forget their identities!

and yeh there is the risk he'll do it again,

love is blind i can agree with that one. especially when you dont want to jeapordise a relatiionship with someone and when you are trying to tread so carefully...yeh i made many excuses for the lack of vocal communication with this "girl" who was a guy....

ill never do it again, i learnt from it...but has he?

i doubt it!
 
mind C...

you already know my opinion..... but sometimes I do think you should let it go.......

Move on so you can meet someone who will actually love you and won't lie to you....
 
let it go

I had a similar thing happen.. except i wasn't in love and i didn't fly to a foreign country..

i meet a person in a chat room, became great friends with her, she sent me several pictures, told me her name was Shianne, even gave me her phone number. We spent hours online in the chat room talking and many more hours on the phone. i had to email her before i could call, she said her "dad and sister" were staying with her, and she didn't want them to be bothered by having to answer the phone when she wasn't home. All the time (18 months) i was getting to know her, she was "falling in love" with a man online.. to make a long story short.. the pictures she sent ended up being of her daughter (she had told me she was 28 when in reality she was 50) and her "dad and sister" that were "staying" with her, was her husband and daughter. Her husband is a truck driver, so she had this man fly up to her house while her husband was gone. (i guess she had told him the truth about herself)

it was a horrible experience for me, i can just imagine what it was like for him..

I have no idea what ever happened between them (from what i understand, his "online" story was far different than his "real" life story)

I don't see her anymore, as the chat room i used to go to shut down, shortly after all of this happened..

I get an email on occasion from her, i read it, delete it and never respond.. i have no idea how to respond to her, as i'm hurt but not angry..
 
Whether you let it go or press charges is one thing. Though I really don't think you have any legal case to press charges on - we have a few lawyers here who could probably answer that.

I understand the desire to do something so that this person doesn't do this to anyone else BUT... for you... yourself... your life... you need to let it go and move on.
 
I would love to get some legal advice on this...
just to see what can and can't be done...



anyone??
 
No legal advice...

But as a matter of faith, I believe this person will get a karmic come-uppance. The evil one does really is visited back upon its source, and all is balanced. Unfortunately, if you take it upon yourself to balance the scales, you are only adding to your own karmic burden...

Letting things go is the best way I've found to maintain sanity, as well as avoid getting deeper in the muck.
 
jadedpast said:
I would love to get some legal advice on this...
just to see what can and can't be done...

anyone??

I'm not a lawyer, but I can't imagine what criminal charges could be brought against the person. If no money was exchanged, and none was sought, that takes most of the fraud and extortion charges away. If this person never requested the other to come for a visit, there seem to be no broken contracts (verbal or otherwise).

What they did was beyond wrong, but I don't think they broke any laws. There are very few laws on the books to protect people from their own gullibility.
 
Hey Texan,

This person did verbally request me to visit...I even went as far as "so I am going to book the flight tomorrow etc is that ok?"..the answer was yes etc and they wanted me to go, plus there were offers of meeting me at the airport and that I could stay with "her" etc...

this was all talked about before i ever even booked the flight, and I did forget to say that I did get a phone number but it was a car phone number and well thats a long story to in itself, but everytime i rang it there never was a reply and there was always some excuse or another and well i did speak to the "brother" ..once on the phone so in a way it seemed genuine...i guess....

Also I must add that when i did goto WV in the first week, this guy posing as her brother encouraged me to buy "her" daughter a b/day card etc and said "are you gonna put any money in the envelope!"...soooo I don't know if there is a case there.

I think it's an extremely difficult one but my focus is on the actual fact that this guy used other peoples pics and information about them. Especially a woman's 2 yr old child pics on many occasions..and I feel that perhaps if the mother knew about what this guy had been doing she wouldnt be to happy about it.

Also the very fact he'd been doing it for over 3 years says that this guy does or did it a lot. Chances are he'll do it again or abuse people in another form.

I me this guy and believe me, he's weird..... theres defintely something about him..I felt so uncomfortable when he was posing as her brother, and yeh i was worried for my life at one point.

He definetely needs checking out thats 4 sure! Even if it is only passing this info on to the police and perhaps his name and addy etc so they can keep an eye on him..you never know if he offended in the future then all the stuff he did to me and others might be helpful to the police in creating some kind of profile on him.

I think it is the right thing to not turn a blind eye to it as perhaps others did, and in the end I came out worse, because he'd gotten away with it so many times and took it as far as he could like it was some game....

he played god in a way with people's lives not good :(

I also feel that the women's pictures he used have a case against him because in a way that is fraud or deceit in itself.
 
hello mind canvas

I think you are probably right to put all the details of what this guy did down on paper, and send them to his local police department. They might investigate, and even find a way of letting the mom know about his use of her child's photograph. The local police department might also have other complaints or information about this guy. If nothing else, they might be able to scare the guy enough to keep him from doing something like this to other people.

If some of his actions broke criminal laws, then you probably don't have to "file charges" anyway, the police or local DA would probably do that. Remember, that in the U.S. the accused has a legal right to "face his accuser" in a court of law. This might mean that any charges you file against him would require that you come back to the states for a trial. I have heard stories of people who file civil or criminal charges against someone in another country, but when the case goes to court the lawyers get a "continuance". This means the person who filed the charges and traveled to be at the trial, will have to go back home and then later come back when the court rehears the case. This process might be repeated until the "plaintif" gives up.

If the local DA files criminal charges against the guy, you probably would not be required to be there for the trial. If your testimony was required, your expenses to appear in court would be paid.

This is my "non-lawyer" understanding of the process. Someone who knows more is welcome to correct me.
 
This seems to happen every day. :( I had a great "friend" I chatted with all the time. He kept pressuring me to meet. Eventually I was going to be near where he lived, and I tried to arrange a public lunch. He changed his chat name, deleted his screen name, blocked me on MSN, and put his phone on 1 ring. I was confused, then pissed.

Another "guy" talked to me on the phone and everyday in chat. He kept asking to visit. Then several people pmed me to say that he was telling everyone I was begging him to come. I confronted him and his reply (a shot at pity I guess) was "I weigh over 400 lb." I was confused, then pissed.

I've actually been lucky, since that's pretty much the worst I've had. Other people I've know have dealt with much bigger con artists. Just remember...it's not a reflection of stupidity. In fact, the more imagination you have the bigger target you are for a con man(woman), as you will fill in the details for yourself. A popular ploy is for the person to "die" just when you are about to meet. Then his/her brother, sister, mother, co worker or other "messenger" will write to tell you the tragic news. That only stands to reason huh...if I die suddenly I'm sure my Mom will come tell you folks...uh hem um...NOT!

Beware of people with multiple unbelievable tragedies. For example...some of you may know Bonnie. Bonnie's Mom got murdered, then her brother got leukemia and she was the only one to take care of him, then she came home and found her dog gutted and hanged, then she witnessed a heart attack and was the only person who could help. I think that was all in a year. She turned out to be a guy named Larry. Check out people before you meet them. There are several screening services...safedate...I'll look for it and edit this. :)
 
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Thanx Texan,

I think youre right in the way to go about this. I originally thought of going to the FBI, but the police would seem the best step to take at first. The things he did can easily be proved through log accounts on his isp provider. I have plenty enough evidence built up against and things that would raise questions about his sanctity.

Also have email confessions from him which I've kept. These have the original ip address originitating address which will prove where they were sent from.

There's a web site which he used on Geocities presumably to other people which I found which uses the same "made up girls name!" as the one he used on me. I have managed to find out about lots of old email accounts he used going as far back as 1998.

This is naughty, but one of them I managed to hack into, it was easy... and in there are plenty of emails from guys who from what I can gather thought they were talking to a "Shelley"..the same girls name he used on me! And these are dated back to 1998!

There's just so much stuff to say that I dont know if I could get it all in one email to the police because that's really the best way of contacting them as sometimes its difficult for people to understand my accent etc.

The other thing I am hoping that the girl's whose pictures he used would want to press some charges against him or something. Many of these girls went to the same school as him and I've already managed to track down the girl whose pictures he used on me but unfortunately I dont think she wants to puruse it any further.

I originally told her there was no point to following it up but since then I've changed my mind and realise that there could be more to this than meets the eye and its best to put a stop to it whilst we can dont you think?

I think it's the responsible thing to do to inform those in authority that have the power to check up on him and ensure he doesnt get up to any more of his deceit.

Contrary to what many people think..I am over it, emotionally and mentally it will take a while to forget about it but I do believe that until the weight off all this is lifted off my shoulders I will be able to stop worrying about what he's upto and who else he may be abusing.

If only all the other people that I am aware of ie one guy from Virginia ... would go forward to the police about him too as the more that make a complaint the more they are likely to have him investigated etc.

What do you think and everyone else???

From my own experience of this I do feel that it is a good thing to make people who use the net to chat to people and get sucked into the whole love thing to be aware of what goes on.

ie. make sure you speak to them on the phone, and perhaps see them on a webcam and talk to them on the webcam too!!! It's not 100% assurance but does help matters. I just think theres a whole lot of people out there that use the internet as an excuse to abuse other people and at the same time, hide behind a computer thinking they can not be liable for their actions!!!!

I am now a big believer in the fact that the internet should be governed for our own protection and laws should be imposed worldwide to prevent things happening like that etc etc and to find any loop holes in such a system.

Any thoughts anyone??
 
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