Would you cheat???

[OceanGoddess]

But ultimately... that is what it comes down to... putting your energies into the relationship.... communicating and loving... and if your partner cannot or will not return the commitment and love... being strong enough and righteous enough to end the situation without violating your own integrity and hurting your partner by cheating.

Get back to me when you have been working on your marriage for 7 years or so, married for 10, and when you have a small child who will be hurt terribly if you divorce, mkay?

It's easy to make assumptions about another's situation when you have not been in their marriage or situation. I have judged and made assumptions about others, and I realize it's difficult not to judge or assume.

Sometimes the partner *is* loving and committed, but just does NOT have a sex drive to speak of . . .what then? And it's easy to say "just get divorced first" but unless you've been divorced with small children, you have NO CLUE when it's like for them and the pain they endure. And I don't care if you're the most intelligent, mature, kind, loving parents on the planet . . .the children will be upset and hurt by the divorce and having to live in two households.

There are no easy answers.

Now, *if* you are married and childless, that is a whole 'nother ballgame!

I was married before, and childless at that time, and thankfully, I realized that we were not suited to be together forever, and I got out before we had children. I am proud of my choice there. It would have been easier to stay and it took a lot to get out.

I do not understand why one would stay in a childless marriage where they weren't happy most of the time . . .but again, who am I to judge? People have their reasons.

 

[WyldBreeze]

maybe he is hoping we will invite him to the party....

Looks like everyone else left for now.....are WE the party? lol

 

[scottboa]

Get back to me when you have been working on your marriage for 7 years or so, married for 10, and when you have a small child who will be hurt terribly if you divorce, mkay?

It's easy to make assumptions about another's situation when you have not been in their marriage or situation. I have judged and made assumptions about others, and I realize it's difficult not to judge or assume.

Sometimes the partner *is* loving and committed, but just does NOT have a sex drive to speak of . . .what then? And it's easy to say "just get divorced first" but unless you've been divorced with small children, you have NO CLUE when it's like for them and the pain they endure. And I don't care if you're the most intelligent, mature, kind, loving parents on the planet . . .the children will be upset and hurt by the divorce and having to live in two households.

I would think living with divorced parents in two houses wouldn't be much worse then living with two parents who are living together but are miserable.

 

[babydoll2u]

maybe he is hoping we will invite him to the party....

LOLOL....

 

[babydoll2u]

I would think living with divorced parents in two houses wouldn't be much worse then living with two parents who are living together but are miserable.

sometimes that's worse.

 

[Calvin]

Get back to me when you have been working on your marriage for 7 years or so, married for 10, and when you have a small child who will be hurt terribly if you divorce, mkay?


It's easy to make assumptions about another's situation when you have not been in their marriage or situation. I have judged and made assumptions about others, and I realize it's difficult not to judge or assume.


Sometimes the partner *is* loving and committed, but just does NOT have a sex drive to speak of . . .what then? And it's easy to say "just get divorced first" but unless you've been divorced with small children, you have NO CLUE when it's like for them and the pain they endure. And I don't care if you're the most intelligent, mature, kind, loving parents on the planet . . .the children will be upset and hurt by the divorce and having to live in two households.

There are no easy answers.

Married twice... first time for 20 years and second time for 7.... one 19 year old daughter from my first marriage... divorced when she was 3....

and of course several short but intense relationships in between and after the marriages....

and plenty of cheating involved (not by me tho)....

do I have enough experience now to qualify?

but again... I certainly never said there were any easy answers.... the only thing that I have tried to state in this thread is that cheating is:
1. Hurtful
2. Selfish
3. and most commonly never makes the relationship better....

each of us gets to make the choice of what's right and what's wrong for ourselves and gets to then deal with the consequences of that action....

 

[allmeister]

Are you upset??

originaly posted by Sweet Erika.
That's really sad, ladies. Considering you know such a minuscule amount about me, my history, and ideas on cheating, you're making awfully huge assumptions.

No, allmeister, your opinion that I've been cheated on doesn't upset me. You're an anonymous person on a porn site who has drawn a conclusion without any information. Yes, I understand you and GG believe "everyone over the age of 12 has been cheated on," but you have no basis for that either because you clearly don't know everyone (or even 'many' in the grand scheme of the population), nor have you watched their entire lives. You could say you've been cheated on, or even everyone you've talked to has, but you can't make sweeping generalizations without any facts.

It's a moot point anyway. The only reason I mentioned it was to fill out my perspective, i.e. I don't have any first-hand experience with the pain cheating causes, but imagining it is enough for me to not want to do it to someone I care about. You'd think by your responses I'd said something just as ridiculous and mean-spirited as, "Ha ha! I've never been cheated on, but you losers have!"

And it's really a silly, petty thing to comment on, dontcha think? Why does whether or not I've unknowingly been cheated on in the past matter to anyone? Surely you can't be so concerned that you feel the need to warn me to watch my husband and lovers like a hawk (though you don't know whether or not I already do...again, it's that not knowing me thing! ).

Oh, GG- If you suspect me, or anyone else here is underage, please report it to the mod. It'd be a shame to ruin it for everyone

I´m not concerned , just thought you sounded a bit naive with your statement. I havne´t been cheated on KNOWINGLY but I would never say I´ve never been cheated on bcause it´s just a fact you don´t know. That´s all

 

[Onanymous]

.....

 

[k1nkeeeGirl]

would you cheat ? Who decided it was cheating?

I don't believe in "cheating". I think people have been duped into the whole monogamy trip by religious intimidation and deception. I don't believe in the whole "property mentality" that a marriage "lisence" encourages, and I don't believe in promising that I will "NEVER" do anything that is dependent on my state of mind and physiology which are in a state of constant fluctuation. Why should I PROMISE not to "cheat" - so I can be made a cheat AND a liar?
Yes, it causes people around me to feel emotionally insecure - but that just means they have some other issues that they need to explore ... like why they are dependent upon other people for their emotional security.
So no - I wouldn't cheat and i don't. When my wet little pussy needs to be fed - i feed it. Who and how are strictly MY choice and MY pleasure. Personally, i have enjoyed numerous incestuous relationships, but I won't play if they're married. This way I can avoid the "cheating" crap and concentrate on the ecstasy.

 

[Calvin]

Oh, Calvin, thank you so much...You are such a sweetheart for letting me know what I can and can't feel and for assigning proper blame to me and my partner. I see you've successfully "communicated" your way through two failed marriages (sigh of admiration!), so I'm going to take your thoughtful advice to heart, loverboy! You party animal! Grrr!

ahhh yes... the niceness comes out.

I did not say I was the "perfect" person... nor did I say I had not made mistakes with my marriages....

all I said was that going out and fucking somebody else behind my partners back WILL NOT, in by opinion, make things better....

you can do and feel WHATEVER you fucking well want to..... I could care less.....
if you can go fuck somebody else without your partner getting upset when they find out, then go for it.... but don't fucking attack me just because I have an opinion.... and you think you have all the answers...

jeez... talk about twisting my words....

 

[Onanymous]

.....

 

[Calvin]

Sorry, Calvin, but I think if you read your own posts you actually said much more than that, and maybe it was the moralizing tone that kind of set me off a bit....

never said anything other than responding to your original post/questions with my viewpoint....

and it is just your assumptions about my "tone" .... I have never "judged" anybody in this thread... I have only offered my perspective and have said multiple times that we all make our own choices.....

and I certainly did not start the insults like you did... because you have NO idea why my marriages failed (nor did you ask before you insulted)....

and btw... I fucking hate parties... so there!

 

[babydoll2u]

Oh, Calvin, thank you so much...You are such a sweetheart for letting me know what I can and can't feel and for assigning proper blame to me and my partner. I see you've successfully "communicated" your way through two failed marriages (sigh of admiration!), so I'm going to take your thoughtful advice to heart, loverboy! You party animal! Grrr!

umm...is sarcasm and hatefulness really necessary here? Good grief, opinions were asked for and that's what he did. Attacking him, shooting darts at his failed marriages, which btw failed for reasons that you have no idea about... and I'm sure don't even care to know... is ridiculous.

this is why people don't like to reply to threads like this.. .even when they're asked for opinions, they get shot down. silly....

 

[allmeister]

originally posted by Kinkeee girl
I don't believe in "cheating". I think people have been duped into the whole monogamy trip by religious intimidation and deception. I don't believe in the whole "property mentality" that a marriage "lisence" encourages, and I don't believe in promising that I will "NEVER" do anything that is dependent on my state of mind and physiology which are in a state of constant fluctuation. Why should I PROMISE not to "cheat" - so I can be made a cheat AND a liar?

Congrats kinkeee I agree nearly whole heartedly with you. It´s a shame that whole ' your mine ' mentality. I´ve never been in a " real" realtionship because I always told the girl that I love her but still want to be with other women to. She could be with other man of course.
To me there is a big difference between love nad sex. I can truly love someone and dedicate my life to them but that doesn´t mean that I won´t lust after other women. and it´s obvious most people do or they wouldn´t cheat. How many people went in a realtionship knowing it isn´t the right one but worried they might end up alone. So they promise their partner something but realy know that they still look for someone better and if they evere find it break their promises and move on.
How can anyone say they will be with a person the rest of their live?? You don´t know how you will feel in 5 years. You can say i want to be with you and let´s see what happens but everything else is a lie to yourself and your partner.

 

[lostinjapan]

I had my first take of cheating on my hubby recently (thread) and it was a new kind of thrill. I'm beginning to understand that this is a kind of fetish for some people, including now myself. Just the idea of cheating now gets me wet. I know some people will disagree with doing it, but I am fully willing to accept the consequences when I am caught, and its the thought of getting caught that even turns me on.

Would you cheat on your partner? Does the idea turn you on?

You sound like a real disease infested whore. Get some self-respect woman.

 

[the_tx_professor]

Hmm...I have thought about it.

For now, playing online with certain friends seems to get me through the periods of boredom, but you never know.