would you admit to family/friends if you met your SO online

[sexy-girl]

just curious ... i imagine there is still quite a bit of social stigma about meeting someone online and i wondered how people deal with it when asked "so how did you two meet"

 

[Mister Ryder]

I don't see where the stigma is??? Why is it any different from meeting someone at your local pub/park/shopping centre?

The bonus to meeting someone online is that you have a connection of minds before knowing what she or he looks like. That has to count for something.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Ironically funny question

Hi Sexy-girl

I'm 49 years old and still couldn't tell my family that I met Oman online (never mind mentioning that it was on an erotic web site!).

I'm a little ashamed of this, but since my mom is in her 70s and the motherly advice she always gave me after I got a computer was "don't go into any of those chat areas", I felt it was better to let her believe otherwise!

She does know that we keep in touch online though.

I found even with my friends that there was a bit of a "stigma" because most people tend to think you must SEE the person first before getting involved. But most of them met Oman during his visit, and they feel a lot better about the idea now.

 

[hatara]

LOL Jenny our mother's are the same age hun.

Mine knows that I met a friend online. She does not know we are involved I am not ready to tell them that yet. Eventually that will come in time, when I am ready.

As for telling friends that I met my SO online I have no problem with it and if they do that's their problem. *shrug*

 

[Bindii]

I've never met someone online that I've had a relationship with but I think my attitude would be......if you don't like it - lump it!.

Its no one's business where you met your partner.

I don't find anything wrong with meeting someone online either.

 

[DopeyAngel]

I don't think it really matters - who's business is it but your own? My father met his new wife in a chat room and I never thought anything of it......

 

[SilverVeil]

I have told my friends and family where we met. It was at a regular chat site though... not an erotic chat site. We met in Jan of 1999 online and met face to face Aug of 99. And we have not been apart since July 2000. Since we lived so far from each other, there was the usual problem of finding housing big enough for all of us ( him, me, 2 cats and 2 kids ) settling all my affairs in TX for the move, finding a job here blah blah blah ...


But we HAVE made it work for us. We are a successful internet-met couple. I am not ashamed of where we met. But when talking to people about it, I DO caution them that things do not always work out so perfectly for people. We both know we are among the few lucky ones. So many people try and try over and over and do not meet the one the are hoping for.

 

[Angell]

I met my s/o online. Some of my family didn't approve but then they don't live my life. My children approved..all that mattered. I also agree there is no difference between online or a pub..we are all strangers until we say that first hello

 

[Draco]

I met my SO in ICQ, I have told my friends and the family that matter to me exactly where/how we met. I cant see why it is such a big deal. I would consider telling then "We met through a dating agency" to be far more embarrassing.

NO BIGGY...live and let live, as Bindii (waves HI) said....

LIKE IT OR LUMP IT, aint nobodies business but our own.

 

[Cheyenne]

I'm a planner by nature. I've already mentioned more than once to my family that I have friends I've met and talk to online from all over. If one of them helps me with info I need in my RL, I'll mention to family members that "a friend from so and so state told me this." It can't hurt to get them used to the idea now that I talk to people online. Then someday if I have to announce I've met a SO online, it shouldn't be such a surprise at that point.

Mentioning that it was an adult erotic site though is a different story. My parents are also a little older and would NOT understand that at all. Friends I don't tell about Lit because I want this place to be for me. Some of the things I say here are none of their business and I want to keep it that way.

 

[weathered2]

I would tell them, because friends who might be judgemental on that aren't the kind of friends you can count on in a pinch anyway. Cheap way to find out which kind of friend they are.

Also, I've been told repeatedly by a friend here on Lit that I'm "totally shameless". Having no sense of shame and reaching an age where I don't give a rat's ass about people's opinions on lifestyle helps a lot. One nice thing about growing old.

 

[Bindii]

*streaking through thread madly waving Hi to Draco*



Hijack over, there's nothing to see, please go about your business.

 

[SweetCherry]

Well, I won't be ashamed one bit to admit that I met Draco online. Now, as far as to how my parents will react to the fact that I'm in love with him, I can't say. My mother and father are convinces that anyone you meet online is a sick mass murderer and can't be trusted.



*hijacking thread for a sec*

Hi Bindii! Long time no see!



*end hijack*

 

[kotori]

taking it back a generation

I met my wife through the Village Voice personals.

I've told friends, but not family. That was 18 years ago.

(My a-mother's in her 70s, haven't told her; my b-mother's in her 60s--she I told. Go figure.)

 

[Draco]

My mother and father are convinces that anyone you meet online is a sick mass murderer and can't be trusted.

*donning fake beard and mustache*

DAMMIT, they're on to me already......

 

[Bindii]

*hijacking thread for a sec*

Hi Bindii! Long time no see!



*end hijack*

*Bindii sneaks in sheepishly to gather her clothes*

"Hey Sweetcherry! Good to see ya!"

*Hijack is over and now that I have retrieved my clothes there really is nothing more to see*

 

[SweetCherry]

*Hijack is over and now that I have retrieved my clothes there really is nothing more to see*

Except the video of Bindii naked!

*waving tape in the air*

Come on, you guys. $5 a person.

 

[Guest]

Even though meeting people through the internet is a bit more prevalant these days, there is still a stigma attached.
I met my SO 5 years ago- before all the talk shows addressed such cyber relationships. I told everyone how I met him. They gave me "the look" and seemed intrigued. We got married. So I guess it didn't matter, in the end.

 

[Dillinger]

I went to a wedding about 6 months ago. They met online - not at a chat side though, more of a personals site. Everyone there knew that's how they met.

 

[riff]

admit?

Why admit? I'd call it "sharing."

 

[Aphrodisiac]

I would have to agree with Jenny on this topic.

I recently went up to see my chat buddy - and when my mom asked where I was staying & how I met my friend. I simply told her he was an old school friend.

My mom is from the "old school" if I told her I met him online and was going to go stay with him. I think she would be very worried and she would go on and on ... telling me reasons NOT to go see him. Like I said she is from the old country... no computers back then ... even now when she sees me using my computer, she simply assumes I am typing a paper or some thing along those lines.

My mom is very cool ... but for right now I am just "typing" papers on the computer... Okay ?!?!!!

 

[Angel]

..... Just so everyone knows, Angell isn't me heh.


And when I met BK, everyone in my family knew where I met him. I don't give a damn about their opinions, it's my life.

I know there is probably some concern with saftey over meeting someone you've met online - but then again what are the risks of going out with a dangerous freak you've met at a club or bar.

 

[MissTaken]

Yes, I would tell family and friends if I met my SO on line.

It is far less difficult to explain than several years ago when caring parents were concerned about the fact that only psychos and perverts hung out on the internet, waiting to prey on their innocent daughters!

Wait! This is lit....psychos and perverts galore!

And ohhhh what fun

I just might NOT mention I met someone on a kink site or at lit. For my mother, lit is a writer's bulletin board.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

I met my baby over a videogame

my family.... nope they don't know, nore does hers.

yet

 

[Rambling Rose]

I have found that friends and family tend not to take online relationships seriously, be it romantic or platonic. I feel differently so I tend to be a little more private about it.

Still, all those that are close to me know that I have met and travelled with people I discovered over the internet and I am still here to tell the tale.