would this make me a switch?

[gans696]

Ok let me first off I haven't had any BDSM experiences in the past, just going off what my fantasies and desires are.

First off I feel like I have a submissive nature. I tend to want to make everyone else happy around me even if means scarifying a little bit of myself in the process. I can't stand the thought of displeasing anyone for it just eats at me if I do. Same thing for hurting people, physically, mentally or emotionally. Like me and my brother would get into fights but really like moments later after cooling off I would go apologizing and feel really bad even if I wasn't wrong. At work when I'm suppose to be in charge of my line, I have a hard time and almost feel guilty giving out orders for I guess I'm scared of making people hate me. I think these traits would make me a good sub even slave to a Mistress for I find the idea serving one absolutely thrilling, for I would be willing to do anything within my ability to please.

Now on the other hand despite this, there have been times where I would fantasize about having a slave of my own ready to serve me sexually when ever I pleased. But like I said I can't bring myself to hurt anyone else or giving orders to that much so I don't think I would make that great of a dominate. What you guys think.

 

[myinnerslut]

it might. it might not. the best thing you can do it learn more and not hem yourself into a label thus limiting your oppurtunities

 

[Hisscarlett]

As myinnerslut said it might make you a switch and it might not. Labels are not a great idea, especially when you are on a journey of self discovery and don't really know how you feel about something.

I know several slaves who are sadistic, particularly in poly situations where the first girl basically runs the second girl and satisfies her sadistic tendencies on the second girl.

Also there are many Dom/mes who are not in the slightest sadistic and are looking only for a service sub/slave or playtoy, or both.

So you might be a Dom/me looking for a plaything or service sub/slave or a switch or you might be a sadistic bottom/sub/slave or a combination of the above.

We are all different; just reading the comments on this board shows how wide the spectrum is. What is right for one is not for another.

I wish you well on your journey and hope that you find all you seek.

 

[SubNebGuy]

"I've never had a BDSM experience..."

Unfortunately that comment there means you don't really understand BDSM and all it entails, but you're trying to put labels on yourself anyways.

BDSM covers everything from the married couple who occasionally engages in some spanking, to the hardcore "sign this slave contract so I own you" mentality, and the whole range in between.


You're only a switch if you change roles in the bedroom. To me it sounds liek you lack confidence in 'real life' and want to make up for that in the bedroom at least some of the time.

Nuttin' wrong with that as long as your sub partner is willing and you both set boundaries. (which isn't really different from 'vanilla sex'...willingness and boundaries)

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Your sexual persona is not necessarily a reflection of your public persona. To most people, I appear reasonably assertive and confident, yet I love submitting to my Master. I wouldn't go attaching labels to yourself too soon, it can be limiting.

Many people fantasise about both sides of BDSM only to discover that one or the other doesn't suit them when it comes to real life sex play and relationships. Other people love to switch and gain pleasure and fulfilment that way.

Only you can answer these questions and probably only through experimentation rather than wringing your hands and wondering.

 

[gans696]

Thanks for the help I guess I'm just trying to find myself and what I really want in life and learn as much as I can. I know I shouldn't rush things but it can be hard when most sexual fantasies revolve around some aspects of what I know as BDSM.