Mikethe3DGuy2
Virgin
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2020
- Posts
- 9
Hi All,
This story wasn't originally intended to be anything other than a treatment for a visual novel (the male protagonist, Brian, would be the "player"). It still is that, but I realized at some point I wanted to turn it into a readable story as well, so went back to make it so. Hopefully I succeeded. There are 11 chapters so far.
Interested in ANY and ALL feedback and critique of whatever portion you've got the time to read. Especially wondering if my pacing is okay and whether it's overly wordy.
Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any replies. I put it in "Fetish" category, but probably should have gone with BDSM.
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-01
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-02
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-03
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-04
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-05
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-06
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-07
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-08
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-09
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-10
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-11
This story wasn't originally intended to be anything other than a treatment for a visual novel (the male protagonist, Brian, would be the "player"). It still is that, but I realized at some point I wanted to turn it into a readable story as well, so went back to make it so. Hopefully I succeeded. There are 11 chapters so far.
Interested in ANY and ALL feedback and critique of whatever portion you've got the time to read. Especially wondering if my pacing is okay and whether it's overly wordy.
Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any replies. I put it in "Fetish" category, but probably should have gone with BDSM.
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-01
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-02
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-03
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-04
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-05
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-06
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-07
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-08
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-09
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-10
https://www.literotica.com/s/the-alpha-gender-ch-11
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