Worst screen adaptation of a novel

[Varian P]

In order to refrain from unwarranted thread-jacking over on "Worst casting of all time," I was compelled to start this thread.

I was just moaning about this in another thread, but...

I recently read Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale," then rented the movie, thus committing to almost two hours of pergatory.

I didn't even think the novel particularly stellar, but every trace of subtlety had been carefully scrubbed from the movie version. The somewhat complex Commander of the novel and the main character's relationship with him were turned into dull black-and-white; the main character's motives and actions, full of uncertainty, guilt, and cowardice in the novel, become clean and heroic.

But I'm sure others have topped this. So, what is the worst screen adaptation of a novel?

 

[BlackShanglan]

I'd have a tough time calling a "Worst Offender" between Coppola's "Bram Stoker's 'Dracula'" and Branagh's "Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein.'" Both should be publically flogged for dragging the poor defenseless authors into the titles of their outrages upon their memory. Whether it's Sir Anthony Hopkins presenting a bizarrely demented Van Helsing or Kenneth Branagh and Robert De Niro flailing shirtless in amniotic fluid for what seemed like hours, it's hard to find a portion of either that isn't worthless - with the sole exception of the deliciously decadent and fin de siecle imagining of Dracula's style in England. It's a sumptuous little postcard from an otherwise doomed movie.

 

[RogueLurker]

Bram Stoker's Dracula (not that Bram had anything to do with the screenplay). I was particularly ticked with it as I had just finished reading the book the day before I saw the movie on its opening night - I was so looking forward to it. Damn you, Coppola.

 

[Picodiribibi]

The "Worst Screen Adaptation of a Novel I Never Read" award goes to Francis Ford Coppola for The Godfather: Part III. I'd bet my house the book was better than the movie. For chrissake, it was the basis for what's possibly the best screen adaptations of a novel in the history of film: Parts I & II. You just don't follow up two masterpieces like The Godfather and The Godfather: Part II with crap like Part III. Fredo dies...the end!

And Sophia Coppola was perhaps the worst casting choice in the history of film. Thanks for reminding me.

 

[starrkers]

I'd have a tough time calling a "Worst Offender" between Coppola's "Bram Stoker's 'Dracula'" and Branagh's "Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein.'" Both should be publically flogged for dragging the poor defenseless authors into the titles of their outrages upon their memory. Whether it's Sir Anthony Hopkins presenting a bizarrely demented Van Helsing or Kenneth Branagh and Robert De Niro flailing shirtless in amniotic fluid for what seemed like hours, it's hard to find a portion of either that isn't worthless - with the sole exception of the deliciously decadent and fin de siecle imagining of Dracula's style in England. It's a sumptuous little postcard from an otherwise doomed movie.

I remember being hugely annoyed by Branagh's Frankenstein.

 

[SimpleGifts]

I'm sorry, but you can't get any worse than the screen version of Anne Rice's Exit to Eden, with (vomit here) Dan Akroyd and Rosie O'Donnell. And I think Dan Akroyd is a genius but what the HELL was he doing in that movie? And why didn't Anne Rice sue the producers?

SG

 

[jomar]

I'm sorry, but you can't get any worse than the screen version of Anne Rice's Exit to Eden, with (vomit here) Dan Akroyd and Rosie O'Donnell. And I think Dan Akroyd is a genius but what the HELL was he doing in that movie? And why didn't Anne Rice sue the producers?

SG

Ooh. I had repressed that. You set my therapy back six months by reminding me.

 

[SimpleGifts]

Ooh. I had repressed that. You set my therapy back six months by reminding me.

Sorry. Feel free to send Rosie the bill.

SG

 

[bluebell]

Yeah, Rosie's good for it.

My two most momentarily available grievances are The Firm and Eragon.
What. The. Hell?

 

[Eluard]

If you good folks have not seen the film of James Joyce's Ulysses, then you just haven't suffered enough.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm sorry, but you can't get any worse than the screen version of Anne Rice's Exit to Eden, with (vomit here) Dan Akroyd and Rosie O'Donnell. And I think Dan Akroyd is a genius but what the HELL was he doing in that movie? And why didn't Anne Rice sue the producers?

SG

Because it was in production at the same time Interview was, and she spent all her time ogling Tom Cruise...

AND because she seems to have disowned her erotica entirely. Her husband must be rolling in his grave. The two of them were instrumental in the formation of the Janus Society, back in the sixties-- the birthplace of modern S&M

 

[Stella_Omega]

Yeah, Rosie's good for it.

My two most momentarily available grievances are The Firm and Eragon.
What. The. Hell?

As in What. The. Hell made anyone think that a teenage boy's fanfic should make it into publication in the first place?

 

[elsol]

Robert Heinlein's Starship Troopers

Don't even get me started...

 

[Picodiribibi]

Robert Heinlein's Starship Troopers

Don't even get me started...

Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad...

 

[bluebell]

As in What. The. Hell made anyone think that a teenage boy's fanfic should make it into publication in the first place?

<snicker>
Now, now, Stella. You'll crush his dreams and make him cry.
He is, after all, just past the stage of being burped and is, at this very moment, being potty-trained and learning that one shouldn't always suck on whatever one finds lying around.

 

[Stella_Omega]

<snicker>
Now, now, Stella. You'll crush his dreams and make him cry.
He is, after all, just past the stage of being burped and is, at this very moment, being potty-trained and learning that one shouldn't always suck on whatever one finds lying around.

One shouldn't? No one told me that!


An example of a movie that was better than the book- more sophisticated, literate, deeper-- Babe, the pig.

 

[bluebell]

That'll do, Pig.

One shouldn't? No one told me that!

Well, I'm sure there are a few exceptions.

 

[The_Fool]

Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad...

Yes it was...

 

[SimpleGifts]

Yes it was...

Ditto. I think we should disqualify any film that is an obvious and complete perversion of the adapted work...otherwise I'll have to start nominating films like the movie version of H.P. Lovecraft's Reanimator. Or Stephen King's Pet Sematary. Or Clueless (which I thought was a pretty funny film, but I doubt that Jane Austen's estate gave its editorial approval).

SG

 

[Weird Harold]

Ditto. I think we should disqualify any film that is an obvious and complete perversion of the adapted work...

I guess that would disqualify my nomination: I Robot. The only thing the movie had in common with the book was the title.

 

[Carnevil9]

I guess that would disqualify my nomination: I Robot. The only thing the movie had in common with the book was the title.

It also had a Dr. Susan Calvin, in name only, and not much else.

But my nomination would be for Outlaw Of Gor as the worst ever adaptation. It's so bad I've only seen it on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

 

[gagginforit]

Robert Heinlein's Starship Troopers

Don't even get me started...

I love that movie. I didn't read the book though.

 

[BanditIRA]

I love that movie. I didn't read the book though.

Read the book! Trust me I loved that movie too until I read that book. It's pretty much a night and day kinda situation with the movie and book.

 

[BanditIRA]

It also had a Dr. Susan Calvin, in name only, and not much else.

But my nomination would be for Outlaw Of Gor as the worst ever adaptation. It's so bad I've only seen it on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Crap, both movies that came instantly to my head when I read the thread title, Gor and Starship Troopers, already taken. I will say Outlaw of Gor has to be one of the worst though.

 

[elsol]

Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad...

Have you read the book?