Women try a gay old time

[catalina_francisco]

Can you believe such a load of BS gets government funding? I am a little agitated to put it mildly since reading this online in my former local paper, and admit it is not just the stupidity of this story, but the fact this agency repeatedly wins government funding, over others more suitably qualified and informed, to deal with issues they have no experience with, but see themselves as a 'jack of all trades' counselling service. I, along with others, have been outspoken about their methods before, and had to deal with the severe damage to more than one or two of their previous clients. Hopefully they will get to read my comment I submitted, though I doubt it will make a difference while governments still continue to throw funding their way. Sorry for my venting but I am sure this is a rare occasion when steam is coming out of my ears!!

Catalina

http://www.thesundaymail.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,6901678%5E2765,00.html

Women try a gay old time
NIKKI VOSS
10aug03
A "MAN drought" in the over-60s age group is forcing some women to pursue lesbian relationships, a Queensland counsellor says.

Relationships Australian spokesman Jack Carney said earlier death rates in men meant women in their twilight years were often forced to turn to other women for love and companionship.

Mr Carney said his government-funded support group encouraged older women to explore lesbian relationships, which were seen as more nurturing and emotionally supportive.

"As they get over 60 opportunities to get a man diminish substantially. Men marry younger women and they die about eight years younger so there is a real male shortage," said Mr Carney, who has 20 years' experience in relationship counselling and education.

"And as women get even older it gets much worse, so we ask them to entertain the idea of lesbian relationships.

"I know of groups of women in their 50s who have banded together to buy up land and made a pact that they would settle for each other if they had not found a man by a determined time."

Australian Pensioner and Superannuants League state secretary Yvonne Zardani said it "wouldn't surprise me" if some were in same-sex relationships.

Myra Flynn, from support group Older Dykes, said some older women "defaulted" to lesbian relationships because of a lack of men. Others had struck up relationships with men in the 1950s and 60s because they could not be open about their sexuality, or they wanted a child.

Census statistics show the divorce rate of those aged over 60 has more than doubled in Queensland in 10 years, meaning more women are now unmarried in their older years.

Australian Families Association spokesman Alan Baker said married couples having difficulties should stick with it unless it was an abusive relationship.

Hazel Parkins, a twice-divorced woman of 57 from Highgate Hill in Brisbane, said it was increasingly difficult to find suitable men, although she "is not looking".

"I feel sorry for people who are married for many, many years going out on their own again after they divorce. It would be a real shock."

 

[Etoile]

They get government funding for what, exactly?

 

[Never]

What part of this article do you disagree with?

 

[catalina_francisco]

They get government funding for what, exactly?

Mr Carney said his government-funded support group encouraged older women to explore lesbian relationships, which were seen as more nurturing and emotionally supportive.

 

[catalina_francisco]

.
Never,

I will answer your question later as soon as time permits, as it is not a quick and easy one to address so needs typing time I don't have right now.

C

 

[Cigan]

Ok, this is in response to Never. I have to say I majorly disagree with this article. After enough years of trying to be someone I'm not in high school I'm pretty much against anyone going against their natural grain. I can't imagine it's easier to play a sexual role you aren't fit to in your 60s than it is when your 16. Recommending that straight women who are older find other women for relationships is sort of like telling gay man he just needs to find the right woman (or lesbian right man, works both ways)and it'll be ok. It isn't as blatantly offensive, but the sugar coating of a psychologist saying it doesn't make it any more realistic.

 

[catalina_francisco]

What part of this article do you disagree with?

Finally got this typed up.....sorry for the delay and believe me it is cut down from the lengthy tome I formulated earlier this week.


There are a few issues here I have problems with which I readily admit have been personally influenced based on my professional experiences of working alongside generic counselling agencies; dealing with and cleaning up after multiple incidents of extremely inappropriate service provision by such agencies to clients who have presented to me more distressed from the generic experience than by the initial issue they sought help with; and also my inside knowledge which gives me a more informed position than this article presents, and for legal and professional reasons I cannot discuss in detail.

I have issues as a bisexual, a woman, and a feminist, all areas I have advocated in actively for several years, and also object as a professional to the myths propagated. This is one of the thousands of instances where limited government funding is squandered on unsubstantiated and/or uninformed beliefs, while others who have first hand experience, knowledge, skills, and needs are denied funding. For example, this present government (state and federal levels) have cut, suspended, abolished, or refused to grant or increase long held levels of funding in several areas including abused women's shelters (and children); specialised counselling programmes in particular for abuse and rape survivors; victims of crime programs; women's health; general health and education arenas; disability services; and child abuse, just to name a few and yet will fund a programme so loosely based on a mainstream theory with no evidence or research based validity or authenticity.

I also see this as an affront to women and the GLBT community as I can fairly well predict what an outcry would have occurred in Brisbane if a woman, especially a gay woman or group, had proposed such a theory and begun a group based on converting straight women. I imagine the repercussions would have been far greater than a resounding no and moral lecture. For one thing I doubt the group would have been allowed in the first place.... and yet a male with what I would suspect are outdated patriarchal ideas based on his own misogynist and/or homophobic views gets a golden handshake to show women how to improve their lot. What can you expect in a country where you can have a Prime Minister who has publicly announced when asked about:

(1) Breast feeding - 'I'm sure none of that went on in our household when the children were born';
(2) What if one of his children disclosed they were gay? - Something along the lines they wouldn't because they know he would be disappointed and upset so it isn't possible they are gay;
(3) Gay marriages - no-way, it is not necessary or right.

To say women over 50/60 should and are becoming lesbian because men their own age are not only fewer, but those remaining are marrying younger women proves the simplistic ignorance and both devalues and insults all women, gay and straight alike. IMHO it belongs in the trash-can with the age-old statements of 'women who are lesbian are too ugly to get a man', and 'all a lesbian needs is a real man to fuck her so she knows what she is missing'. All these statements are examples of misogynistic, homophobic, mainstream propaganda. The rationale behind this group IMO is not an effort to support women or the gay community no matter what face is shown in the interests of good PR and more dollars.

Without going into a lot of academic theory and arguments for or against, the basic defence they offer for their approach seems to be that since many remaining men their age are only interested in younger women, older women are left alone and desperate. Logically if the older men are taking younger women, this means that a group of younger men have no partners. Following the same logic we would have to turn younger men gay since they cannot find partners…combined groups perhaps so they could equally advise these women to seek younger men, and teach younger men to appreciate the beauty of an older woman, then everyone could leave happy and fulfilled!!....surely it makes just as much sense and legitimacy as the one they are presently doing, and at least offers a choice combined with a potential match making service!!

Instead they buy into these women are not acceptable to mainstream males their own age - past their use by date I expect - so the only ones these women can hope to be accepted by are other women. What a crock. Not only is it insulting to older women but also to the GLBT community, the basic message being if you cannot find a partner, become gay.

IMO it also negates all issues of women's sexuality and experiences by portraying lesbianism as something a woman is reduced to accepting when no other options remain, not acknowledging the legitimacy of homosexuality as a valid and equal relationship in contrast to heterosexuality. I have always believed you are gay not out of desperation of not being able to find a partner, but simply because that is who you are. What an insult to infer lesbians live off the cast offs and scraps of the straight male in mainstream society. How flattering.

I realise some may not agree but IMO it is another example of why many continue to fight for women and gays to be given equal respect and rights in a climate becoming increasingly right wing and hostile, and supportive of a return to the good old days of oppression and discrimination in the name of what some consider to be right and wholesome, giving them the right to police and suppress the behaviour of anyone who refuses to conform to their picture book image of perfection.

Sorry if this offends some people as it is not my intention...and this is the toned down version!!... But despite my efforts to leave my activist hate behind me, it seems no amount of willpower can suppress who I have been since birth it seems. I understand and agree this is not right for all to pursue, and there are many ways to be heard and fight without being outspoken and at times seen as antagonistic, but for me it is impossible to close my eyes and hope it goes away.

Complacency and apathy is everyone's right, but to recognise the rumblings in hindsight is a painful reality to endure and rarely helps those it hurts the most. What today may seem a series of small, isolated, and inconsequential incidents, over time erodes foundations built on the blood and flesh of those sometimes less fortunate than we are today, and reaches gigantic proportions often with unjust outcomes for many who become faceless and silenced, pushed back in the closets and kitchens, the key turned, the door firmly locked.

Catalina