Wisconsin Arachnid Sanctuary

[Guest]

Prior to moving to Wisconsin, I wasn't aware that such a thing existed, but apparently so. Moreover--and despite the fact that my landlord failed to mention this to me--it is apparently my garage. A few days ago, I counted twenty-five of the bad boys hanging out on the exterior of the garage door alone. Not that there were ONLY twenty-five; I just got tired of counting. Needless to say, I do not go into my garage. I try not to go anywhere near it. As I see it, that's the spider preserve; it's theirs, and that's okay. I don't mind. The problem lies in the fact that they're just not content with the garage alone. Oh no, they couldn't POSSIBLY be happy with what they have--it's always got to be more. TAKE, TAKE, TAKE. That is what they do. I can't leave my car parked outside the garage for a single day without them trying to colonize. My spoiler, in particular, seems to be a prime piece of real estate. And then they're INSIDE my car. Let me just say that, speaking from all-too-personal experience, there is nothing more condusive to killing one's self quickly than being an arachnaphobic on the expressway in a car with a huge, black spider.

So despite my inherent pacifist tendencies, I think it is time to take a stand. Do they make anti-spider spray? If so, where can I acquire it? The grocery store didn't have any, but that's probably not that surprising. A lawn and garden store, maybe? I just can't take any more of this--they're also on my back porch; getting up the stairs to the door is like running a gauntlet because there's only about a foot-and-a-half wide passage that isn't blocked by webs and dangling beasties. Ack. Bastards. Horrible, greedy bastards. Manifest destiny, my ass. The colonization stops here, I tell you what . . .

 

[Graymouse]

Oh, so that was me ranting, by the way.

 

[Rhys]

Thats nothing. My garden wall...every single nook, cranny and crack has a spider in it. I gave up counting after thirty. The walls of my house, where ever the little webslingers can sling...there is a spider...and this type is not very nice. Black Widows. The garage is full of them too. Then, there is my bathroom. For some mysterious reason, there are a shit load of baby spiders in there. I kill an average of six per shower. I have chased the fucking recluses out of my shoes and sweaters. I am begining to think I live that movie Arachniphobia. All this and my landlord has a company spraying twice a week.

Have I mentioned I hate spiders?

 

[Graymouse]

Daaahhhhh! God. I couldn't deal with it. I would have to move. I have lived in a great many shitholes in my short life and been quite content. Spiders are the one thing I just can't stomach. This is where I don't get people who have an aversion to some other type of animal, like snakes or bats. Not that it can't happen, but the frequency with which, say, you're laying in bed and all of a sudden there's a snake on you is far, far lower than the spider scenario. Grrr . . . the audacity[I/] . . . Oooohhh, do I hate them.

 

[Rhys]

Snakes, Lizards, Scorpions, Rats, and Cockroaches I can deal with

Spiders, however...piss me off.


I have a spiderbite. It still hasn't healed.

 

[patient1]

That's incredible. I'd consider fumigating. Alaska has no spiders, but they do make up for it in mosquitos.

 

[RawHumor]

I'm in Michigan, and I FEEL your pain! I'm in the exact same boat. They're in my house, all over the outside (and occasionally inside) of my mini-van, and all over the garage.

People tell me that spiders kill the "bad bugs". Well, I don't care about the other bugs, I just don't want spiders all over the freaking place!

You can just buy Raid, but there are a couple choices. There's some stuff that's all natural that smells like flowers, but it's not as potent as some of the other kinds.