Will readers give me grief?

[Euphony]

I have an idea Ive fully outlined and started in on but one issues has me concerned.

The bulk of it takes place during a recent historical event that took place in 2010 but I was considering a future scene where a child conceived during this event would ask about her father. (who died shortly after the events)

If Im going to be reasonable I have to have the child age to where shed consider such questions and have the communication skills to discuss them. Needless to say a 2 year old wont work.

Are people really gonna freak if wed have to be in say 2015-2020 for it to be possible?

Also, how old makes sense for a child to question her family unit being different (single mom, no bros/sisters) and why shes never met her dad?
(and if theres conditions like "At five theyd likely ask but you give a simple answer and at ten years old go into a more mature discussion about it.

I just want to add as much believability as I can since I know Im fudging hard on the later dates/events.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Give it a shot. You can ask for beta readers to help you iron out the rough spots, and I am glad that you care so much about your craft!

 

[EdwardMidweston]

Are people really gonna freak if wed have to be in say 2015-2020 for it to be possible?

I don't see why anyone would freak. Many writers have fast-forwarded into the future, either temporarily or for the entire story, and not all of them are writing science fiction.


[QUOTEAlso, how old makes sense for a child to question her family unit being different (single mom, no bros/sisters) and why shes never met her da[/QUOTE]

My first thought is that single-parent families and children who've never met their fathers aren't all that "different" today--just ask the Census Bureau if you doubt me. As for age, nine or ten would probably be old enough to be curious and for most kids to understand an honest explanation.

 

[Euphony]

I don't see why anyone would freak. Many writers have fast-forwarded into the future, either temporarily or for the entire story, and not all of them are writing science fiction.

Freak was poorly chosen. I think more Im worried about jarring the reader.

I have no plans on dating or otherwise explaining "when" we are exactly. Its just simple math tho. An event with a ten year old created in 2010 cant have happened yet.

My first thought is that single-parent families and children who've never met their fathers aren't all that "different" today--just ask the Census Bureau if you doubt me. As for age, nine or ten would probably be old enough to be curious and for most kids to understand an honest explanation.

No doubts here. I have no children nor parental identification issues (they know Im all their fault ) so Im trying to gather what readers who would know better than I would expect.

 

[PennLady]

The problem is that kids will surprise you with what they ask at any age b/c you don't always know what they're hearing or remembering. I'd have no trouble believing a three or four year old asking questions about families; the trick is keeping the explanations simple and straightforward. Don't provide information they don't need or can't process. As they get older, you can provide more.

If they ask why they don't have a dad, you might say that the dad loved the kid but simply had to be somewhere else. A 3 or 4yo doesn't need much more than that.

As for the time and timing -- so long as you're clear about it, I doubt it would matter.

 

[Euphony]

The problem is that kids will surprise you with what they ask at any age b/c you don't always know what they're hearing or remembering. I'd have no trouble believing a three or four year old asking questions about families; the trick is keeping the explanations simple and straightforward. Don't provide information they don't need or can't process. As they get older, you can provide more.

If they ask why they don't have a dad, you might say that the dad loved the kid but simply had to be somewhere else. A 3 or 4yo doesn't need much more than that.

As for the time and timing -- so long as you're clear about it, I doubt it would matter.

Thanks Pennlady, thats very much along the lines of what I was thinking.

Now lets say Moms not dreading the conversation but not going to force the discussion on the child before shes ready. She simply wants to share with her daughter what a great guy her dad was. (who was tragically caught up in a conflict of neither of their chosings)

I can see 5 being too young. I still wonder about 10. I think its viable but of course if I go overboard withthe mom, its just like an adult having too heavy a conversation with a child too early (and I dont want the heroine seen as a "bad mother". That really destroys the story)

 

[gentledemands]

.......

 

[Euphony]

My kid told his grandma at 4 that he wanted to be a paleontologist. If kids aren't spoken down to, they can be very mature and able to deal with a lot of things we don't think they're ready for. Every one of them is different. Don't underestimate. Also, you're afraid of 'jarring' your readers? Are you saying just because of the time years later.

A few years later...

He'd memorize the periodic table by about eight.

Exactly. Time gap only. I know if Im reading a story set in a recent current event (lets say I write a Sandy Storm tale) Im going to at least notice if Im introduced to an 10 year old conceived during the storm and do the quick math that says its not in the past but an envisioned future

but I notice things like that probably more often than I should

 

[TinyBeth]

I agree that you would be surprised at what a 5 year old will ask. At the same time I can see your reasoning that 5 is too young and 10 possibly too old. Why not have the child be around 7 or 8? That was the age I asked why I didn't have any great-grandparents with my last name.

 

[Euphony]

I agree that you would be surprised at what a 5 year old will ask. At the same time I can see your reasoning that 5 is too young and 10 possibly too old. Why not have the child be around 7 or 8? That was the age I asked why I didn't have any great-grandparents with my last name.

Thanks for this. Yes,theres no set age I have in mind. I think its like with anything parenting wise, there is a bit of a range that makes sense. I just wanted to make sure I didnt fall out of that range because I dont want the mom to be seen as "forcing the discussion" (because obviously its sort of the story of her life and how shes ended up where she is now) nor did I want her seemingly delaying it because its a difficult topic or shes ashamed of it or whatever.

Balance is pretty crucial here.

 

[PennLady]

Anything can get a kid thinking -- something they see at the mall, something they overhear, something they see on television, etc. Kids can also be masters of the non sequitur, especially at younger ages. They just say what's on their mind, and will skip from Power Rangers to "why did grandpa die?" without any visible connection -- because there isn't one.

If a 3 or 4yo spends a lot of time around a kid with a dad, or a kid who talks a lot about a dad, then that 3/4yo will probably ask about dads. Questions could range from "what's a dad?" to "where's my dad?"

I think you have a lot of room to work here. It almost doesn't matter what age the kid is -- they question at all ages. So pick your age, and then work out a question, or pick a question, and figure what age is suitable for it.

The fun thing about kids is that they can be so unpredictable, so many things they say or do at various ages seem ridiculous, but could be perfectly plausible. And your answers can range, too.

About three years ago, my son was 6yo and being assessed for the school's gifted program. The woman doing the assessment was pregnant. As he left the school, he asked his dad where do babies come from? His dad said: you'll learn that in fifth grade. Kid was satisfied with the answer and moved on.

I posted about this a while ago -- my husband and I were watching old episodes of M*A*S*H and let our son watch one with us. He's 8yo. It happened to be one involving a gay soldier who'd been beat up by guys in his unit. We had to explain homosexuality, and kept is simple: we said it was when a man falls in love with a man or a woman with a woman, and pointed to friends of ours as examples. He took that and then said, but that doesn't work, you can't get married. We said yes, you can (did *not* go into how you can in some places and not others). He thought and then lit up and said "Great! I can marry my best friend!"

We laughed, then we moved on.

 

[Euphony]

Anything can get a kid thinking -- something they see at the mall, something they overhear, something they see on television, etc. Kids can also be masters of the non sequitur, especially at younger ages. They just say what's on their mind, and will skip from Power Rangers to "why did grandpa die?" without any visible connection -- because there isn't one.

If a 3 or 4yo spends a lot of time around a kid with a dad, or a kid who talks a lot about a dad, then that 3/4yo will probably ask about dads. Questions could range from "what's a dad?" to "where's my dad?"

I think you have a lot of room to work here. It almost doesn't matter what age the kid is -- they question at all ages. So pick your age, and then work out a question, or pick a question, and figure what age is suitable for it.

The fun thing about kids is that they can be so unpredictable, so many things they say or do at various ages seem ridiculous, but could be perfectly plausible. And your answers can range, too.

About three years ago, my son was 6yo and being assessed for the school's gifted program. The woman doing the assessment was pregnant. As he left the school, he asked his dad where do babies come from? His dad said: you'll learn that in fifth grade. Kid was satisfied with the answer and moved on.

I posted about this a while ago -- my husband and I were watching old episodes of M*A*S*H and let our son watch one with us. He's 8yo. It happened to be one involving a gay soldier who'd been beat up by guys in his unit. We had to explain homosexuality, and kept is simple: we said it was when a man falls in love with a man or a woman with a woman, and pointed to friends of ours as examples. He took that and then said, but that doesn't work, you can't get married. We said yes, you can (did *not* go into how you can in some places and not others). He thought and then lit up and said "Great! I can marry my best friend!"

We laughed, then we moved on.

Bingo!

I think when the child asks is really not an issue as I control that so she can be precocious or slow witted And as far as surprises, my sister saw a bus when she was 5 that said "Virgin is not a dirty word" on it. That question nearly killed my father dead. But it was met with just enough words to put out the curiosity fire. As you should do with a 5 year old (often AN answer is fine. Theres no real desire to understand concepts just a "what is this thing in my world?"

For the sake of scenario, I think my issue is, Im not a parent but will be writing to some or most who are. Im not going to go full on birds and the bees here but there will be something a little more serious than "daddy had to go" or similar that you might try to settle a childs question with.

Essentially shes caught in the cross fire of a civil war (which she has no side in, shes a foreigner) and is saved by a local who risks pretty much every thing to get her out of a situation she stupidly put herself in (and hes got no stake in her living or dying other than human compassion) They connect and she ends up with child while he is ultimately lost to the conflict (which they both assumed early on)
Hes pretty much the greatest thing to happen to her next to her daughter so she'll talk about it openly whenever the "time is right".

Hence my as to when might be right, age wise.