Widower finding purpose in loss

[Becaa57]

I find that I'm nervous walking out in the suit. I know it looks good, but haven't been this undressed around a man in a very long time.
Finally reaching the hot tub and sliding in. Down under the bubbles

"Thank you, I have to confess kind of nervous in it"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Don't be. You're... ravishing." I smile. I allow my eyes to slide all along your visible body as I openly allow myself to take in your beauty.

I pop the cork on the champagne and pour a glass for both of us. Setting down the bottle and picking up the glasses, I hand you one then lift mine to yours to toast you. "To... important new friends and... maybe long-term companions...."

Shit, you let on too much. Now she knows you're smitten with her.

I set down my glass and smile at you. I want to take our conversation up a notch and get to know each other even better and faster. "Tell me something you've never told anyone before."

 

[Becaa57]

"To... important new friends and... maybe long-term companions...."
"To New friends, and let's see what the future holds for us"

Sipping the champagne. enjoying the hot water on my body. Relaxing me.

"This is very nice!!! Great view and love the bubbles!!!"

You catch me off guard with the next question

"Tell me something you've never told anyone before."

Thinking this is like truth or dare almost. He must have loved those games we played as teenagers.

Sipping more of the champagne, wondering if I can really tell you this.

"Ok, and I hope you won't think too much less of me"

Pausing

"I came very very close to exchanging sex for money"

 

[Houstonguy30]

I listen to your admission, but am not phased. I've honestly considered it myself given the complete lack of sex and lonliness the last two years.

"I'm going to go with the assumption that you were the sex side of that negotiation, since I can't imagine anyone on the planet would need to be paid to lay with you. You ARE that captivating of a woman, Rachel. Anyway, I'd imagine either you were really on down financial times, or the money offered was considerable. What led you to not take the offer?"

I smile. "Before you answer, know that I don't judge. Overall I try NOT to judge at all, but in this instance, they call it "the oldest profession," which means it's the oldest exchange of goods too."

 

[Becaa57]

"I'm going to go with the assumption that you were the sex side of that negotiation, since I can't imagine anyone on the planet would need to be paid to lay with you. You ARE that captivating of a woman, Rachel. Anyway, I'd imagine either you were really on down financial times, or the money offered was considerable.

"Yes I would have been the sex side. It was from a sleazy landlord I was late with rent. Again"

What led you to not take the offer?"

"May sounds strange, but a sick baby. I was working in a diner, and one of the waitresses, gave me her shift so she could stay home with her sick baby."

"This was a while ago now."

"In a way would make more sense for you, although you'd have to be careful with STD's Less of a problem with an escort service. I don't know if you're ready for a relationship, maybe stick with casual dating?"

"I think Candace would be willing, and you still have me"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"I don't know if you're ready for a relationship, maybe stick with casual dating?"
"I hadn't considered anything, casual dating or non-casual dating until last night. Yesterday was the first day I felt energetic enough to get out of the house and take myself to dinner, much less take anyone else to dinner. It was just a happy accident that you came by my table." I smile.

"I think Candace would be willing, and you still have me"
Did you just say I 'still have you'? So sex is on the table here? I can feel my cock spring to half-staff at the admission from you. I mean, I had hoped that was where we are moving towards, but to hear it from you makes it all the more real.

"Candace is a flirt. With everyone. It wouldn't have surprised me if she and Helen had a fling at some point, with as much as she flirts!" I laugh, trying to disarm the now tense feeling conversation. Tense because of me, not you.

"Still have you? Do I? What exactly do I have?" I slide an immeasurable amount closer to you in the hot tub, my eyes watching your sexy lips as you speak.

 

[Becaa57]

"I hadn't considered anything, casual dating or non-casual dating until last night. Yesterday was the first day I felt energetic enough to get out of the house and take myself to dinner, much less take anyone else to dinner. It was just a happy accident that you came by my table." I smile.

"I think a happy accident for both of us, really"

"Candace is a flirt. With everyone. It wouldn't have surprised me if she and Helen had a fling at some point, with as much as she flirts!" I laugh, trying to disarm the now tense feeling conversation. Tense because of me, not you.
"Was Helen bi? I got the feeling Candace is. And yes she does flirt a lot, but still someone you know, and not looking for much"

Feeling a sudden tenseness from you, wondering why. Did something also happen between you and Candace?

"Still have you? Do I? What exactly do I have?"

"You have a friend, someone from our past "

Who am I kidding, I have a feeling that this could be a lot more then a friendship, but he is so vulnerable right now, and honestly so am I.

"I like you and enjoy being with you"
"Don't worry I'm not saying that we can just be friends. Honestly I don't know what the future holds for us"
"I think though that both of us have to be careful and not rush into things"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Mmmm... You gave me an answer to a 'tell me something nobody knows,' so here is something almost nobody knows - Yes. While I did not stray, Helen did... She enjoyed women quite a bit. I knew this in college, as she and her roommate were lovers for years. Helen and I met in college and I fell for her.. hard. You remember... She was witty, gorgeous, intelligent, and funny. I fell so hard for her. .. You know.. frankly, all the characteristics I see in you." I pause, letting it sit with you for a moment.

"When we met, Helen was fully in the closet, as it needed to be back then, as a bisexual woman. She told me after about a year of us dating. I couldn't care less, as long as she promised I wouldn't lose her. She could have whoever she wanted. She chose women. And we had several threesomes throughout our dating and wedded years, but I never was with the other woman. Only Helen was." I pause, feeling like I had told you this already, but maybe it was just my dream I had last night where we talked about everything?

"I want to be totally candid with you, Rachel. I'm absolutely smitten with you. Maybe it is me being lonely. Maybe it is because you are familiar since we knew each other in our past life. But probably it is because I was secretly attracted to you even when you were Lindsay's high school friend." I pause again. Damn this champagne is making me chatty!

"Helen always enjoyed the extra affection when you were over to see Lindsay, or to spend the night. In fact, she started suggesting to Lindsay more often that she should have you over..."

Fuck, my cock is rock hard under the bubbles in the hot tub.

 

[Becaa57]

When we met, Helen was fully in the closet, as it needed to be back then, as a bisexual woman.
"I think while it's less taboo for a woman to be bisexual there is still some prejudice against it. And I'm sure for a bisexual man now, he pretty much has to be in the closet, many gay men too"

we had several threesomes throughout our dating and wedded years, but I never was with the other woman.
"I just have one question on that. Are you saying even in the 3 some you didn't do anything with the other woman? Helen got attention from both of you?

"I want to be totally candid with you, Rachel. I'm absolutely smitten with you. Maybe it is me being lonely. Maybe it is because you are familiar since we knew each other in our past life. But probably it is because I was secretly attracted to you even when you were Lindsay's high school friend."

I turn to look at you, that remark catching me totally by surprise. Thinking back to when I was friends with Lindsay. I remember that you were always there, one thing I was jealous of was Lindsay's home life. Not just that she had both parents at home, that was the time a lot more single moms. But she had two loving and caring parents.

I did spend more time with Helen, she took me under her wing so to speak. But you were always welcoming and ready for a hug. That took me longer then I let on to get used too. I never felt awkward around you, you were always nice and friendly without making me feel you wanted to feel me up or worse, like some of my friends dads did.

"I had no idea you were attracted to me, I mean I wasn't pretty or sexy. Barely any boobs at all."

Very flustered by that confession. I go quiet

 

[Houstonguy30]

"I just have one question on that. Are you saying even in the 3 some you didn't do anything with the other woman? Helen got attention from both of you?"

"Yes, that is precisely what it means. Or I would watch and wait my turn with Helen. Or Helen would please our partner while I pleased Helen. But it often was me and the other woman pleasing Helen together." I sit a second and ponder whether I want to tell you the next part, how Helen and I found our greatest pleasure in exploring Helen's limits. How many orgasms COULD she have in a night? How strong COULD we make her orgasms? We ultimately found a few combinations that led Helen to cum so hard she would practically pass out. That's what this house was to be, for us to explore her limits even more. I found, too late in our marriage, that I got more pleasure from giving her pleasure than from orgasms myself. Not that I didn't seek those too.

No, It's not time to tell you yet. "Gosh, was that too much?" I smile, blushing. My cock pounding under the bubbling water.

"Oh Rachel. Part of what makes you so desirable is that you don't know how absolutely gorgeous you are. Your smile and your bright eyes warm any room you walk into. Sure, in High School and College you were a bit lanky, and hadn't grown into yourself yet, but you were still SOOO desirable." I take another sip of champagne, realizing I should probably stop, I'm becoming too open, way too fast. Then the alcohol starts speaking for me again. "Helen and I's favorite little roleplay at that time was imagining us teaching you together about all the wonderful aspects of sex." I suddenly stop, realizing I've gone too far. "Sorry. I need to stop this," motioning to the champagne glass.

 

[Becaa57]

"Oh Rachel. Part of what makes you so desirable is that you don't know how absolutely gorgeous you are. Your smile and your bright eyes warm any room you walk into.
I blush when you say that.
"I'm just ok looking"

Sure, in High School and College you were a bit lanky, and hadn't grown into yourself yet, but you were still SOOO desirable."
"I had no idea I was desirable really. Always felt like knobby knees and elbows growing up. I know boys didn't look at me at all. I had zero dates in High school, in college a few. I think that's one reason I got into a bad relationship is he was the first one to take an interest in me"

Your next statement continues to shock me

"Helen and I's favorite little roleplay at that time was imagining us teaching you together about all the wonderful aspects of sex."

"Now your pulling my leg!!!! Really?? I wish you had"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Yes, often the most beautiful girls in High School and College are the last to be approached. Intimidating beauty can be a very difficult thing to approach." I smile. God, I'm secretly embarrassed at myself for how big and rigid my cock is right now. I wish you knew yet I'm glad you don't. I feel like an out of control, hormonal teenage boy.

"I'm sorry your past relationships were bad. If Helen and I could have stopped that, I wish we would have taken action to."

"Now your pulling my leg!!!! Really?? I wish you had"

"Oh, Rachel. I'm not pulling your leg. Not even close. Helen cherished you. She worried about you the same amount she worried about Lindsay. Yet since you weren't blood, and because you were SO sexy, she hid her secret lust for you." I smile. I want to offer to teach you now, just me, but I don't want to push you. So I sit, quietly, not really knowing what to say next to you. God how I wish I could just lean over and kiss you and pull you up to sit on the edge of the hot tub so I could move aside that tiny bikini bottom and taste you. My lustful mind is running rampant.

 

[Becaa57]

listen to everything you're saying, trying to tie it into the memories I have of you and Helen.

"You guys hid that info very well. Lindsay and I had didn't have a clue"

"Lindsay was sexy!! Everyone knew it, I was more the sidekick for her. Accepted only because I was her friend"

I remember being jealous of how easily she could talk to boys, how much boys wanted her. But she was smart enough never to give them what they wanted. I guess she got that from Helen too.

Another memory comes to me. We are having a sleepover, sharing her bed. laying there one night, talking about boys and kissing. She got up on one elbow, looking down at me. Telling me she wanted to try kissing me.

I said yes, and we kissed. It was my first kiss, not hers of course. But we both liked it, and kept kissing. Followed by some touching. I remember the feel of her breast in my hand, so soft but firm. Quite a bit bigger then mine, however my nipples got harder and stood out more then hers.

We probably would have done more, but we got the giggles. We fooled around a few more times, before I moved away.

"I don't know what to say, I loved you both almost as well exactly like how I wished my parents were. My introduction to sex with boys, was not fun for me at all. Took a long time before I started to enjoy it"
"To be honest, I did have a few experiences with girls and enjoyed them"

"But I don't know, I think at best I'm bisexual. I think more about men"


God, talking way too much

Looking at you, wishing you'd shut me up with a kiss.

 

[Houstonguy30]

I nod at your admissions and explanations. "Thinking of my daughter as 'sexy' feels strange, so I'll let that roll off me." I smile, trying to be as playful as possible. "I for one never saw you as 'sidekick' material. I think I've expressed how damn sexy you were. You just didn't know it. I hope you do now, though." I smile.

I take another sip of champagne and can feel my head beginning to spin due to the heat of the hot tub and the alcohol. I move two more inches closer to you as I set the champagne glass down. My knee gently taps against yours. My heart races with the skin-on-skin contact.

"I'm getting a little overheated in here. Should we transition to the pool for a little bit? There are a couple of benches we could sit on that are just below the water that would be comfortable for chatting." I leave out that they were actually designed for making out just above the water line, while still mostly immersed. I decide to be silly and I throw in, "Or we could just rid ourselves of these hot bathing suits and see if that helps....." I chuckle, making it obvious that this was just a joke.

 

[Becaa57]

"I for one never saw you as 'sidekick' material. I think I've expressed how damn sexy you were. You just didn't know it. I hope you do now, though."
"Thank you, you and Helen both saw me as me, I know. The rest of the world I was her sidekick, but I don't feel bad about it. Lindsay and I just enjoyed being friends. We could confide in each other, and hardly any jealousy came between us"

My heart races when you knee presses against mine. It is tight in here, but I think that was on puprose"

"I'm getting a little overheated in here. Should we transition to the pool for a little bit? There are a couple of benches we could sit on that are just below the water that would be comfortable for chatting."

"Overheated is that what's happening here "
"Yes let's move to the pool, maybe that will help us."

"Or we could just rid ourselves of these hot bathing suits and see if that helps....."

"Lets not get ahead of ourselves, you've given me a lot to think about"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Lets not get ahead of ourselves, you've given me a lot to think about"
Your words ring in my head and I realize I've pushed too far. I start wondering if I've mis-read this entire situation. I've given you a lot to think about? Somehow that seems bad.

I motion towards the steps out of the hot tub and immediately realize that when I stand, you're going to be able to see that I'm hard. Very hard. I'm well endowed, no monster for sure, but it's not going to be able to be hidden in my wet swim trunks. Shit.

"Why don't you head over. I'll refill the champagne glasses and will be there in a second. There is a 'talking bench' just after you enter the shallow end of the pool. It's about 6 feet into the pool. It sits just a foot and half or so under the water and its large enough for two people to face each other while they straddle the bench with legs dangle over either side of the bench. You'll see it when you enter." I leave out that it was actually designed so Helen could ride me while we were in the pool. But its secondary use was to easily chat while also in the pool.

I fill the champagne glasses and watch you exit the pool in your incredible black bikini. My God, your figure is so fucking lithe and sexy. Even if nothing ever happens, I'm a very, very lucky man to be able to spend time around you.

I walk to the pool and see you sitting at the far end of the bench, facing the entry to the pool. I try to hide my erection with the champagne glasses, but I see your eyes dart back and forth across my body as I walk into the pool, just a few feet from where you're sitting.

 

[Becaa57]

I move to the pool, finding the set right were you said it would be. As you get out to fill our glasses, I also realize that our conversation is not only stimulating to me, but also to you, as you struggle to hide what appears to be a very nice erection.

God, he's so turned on now. Feeling my body responding. This is crazy, he's almost my dad plus we just reconnected.

As you come back, I can't help but take a last look, then raising my hand to take the champagne from you

"Thank you"

"The water here is much cooler"

God I don't know what to do, I want to pull your suit down and suck you as you come into the pool, but I just don't know what I should do without messing things up. Maybe it's the memory of Helen and not me.

 

[Houstonguy30]

"The water here is much cooler"

"Too cool? I think the heat plus the champagne back there were getting to me a bit. I was feeling a bit woozy back there. Is this too cool? I can turn up the heat but it will take a little time." I stand up, flustered that I'm not 'taking care' of you enough, not realizing I'm flashing you with my full hardness cased in my wet trunks. I walk quickly over to my smartphone and type into it, raising the temperature a bit.

Dammit, I'm SO nervous about treating you well. I don't want any of this to be not-perfect. Shit, now you're freezing her out!!! I start overreacting, wanting tonight to be perfect in so many ways.

Between my cock pounding in my trunks, diverting important blood flow from my brain and the alcohol, I start getting over-nervous.

At least the cooler water and lack of bubbles pressing against me is helping to calm my erection some.

I walk back over to the talking bench. It really is ingenious how the pool builder built it into the pool structure. You're smirking at me with a look I haven't seen before.

 

[Becaa57]

I can tell he is suddenly nervous. Maybe he's nervous about being hard around me? But I thought he and Helen were very active, both as a couple, but also with others, mostly women. So I can't be the first woman in this pool, ohhh wait I am the first one in here.
Suddenly feel like I've got the upper hand here.

Laughing softly
"The temp is fine, it's just cooler then the spa was, not too cold"
patting the water next to me.
"Come sit with me, you should enjoy this pool too, you know"

"Plus I want to hear more about you and Helen, well maybe more about Helen, you said she hid her desire for me?"

"I guess I need to confess something to you"
"When I used to sleep over with Lindsay, well uhmmm I guess you could say like mother like daughter? "

"She and I used to kiss some. Soooo while you and Helen didn't introduce me to sex, your daughter did."

"I hope that's not upsetting to you"

 

[Houstonguy30]

You pat the water in front of you, motioning for me to come back over to the bench. I sit facing you, water about midway up my chest, legs dangling in the water.

"Plus I want to hear more about you and Helen, well maybe more about Helen, you said she hid her desire for me?"

“Yes, as I mentioned, you were like a second daughter to us. You were at the house all the time. But even though you were like a daughter, you weren’t blood, and you were SO sexy. Helen so desperately wanted you to make a move so she didn’t have to. She couldn’t really.”

"She and I used to kiss some. Soooo while you and Helen didn't introduce me to sex, your daughter did."

I sit, quietly. I don’t know why I find it incredibly sexy, maybe the thought of you naked in that old house, just a few doors away from Helen and I as we were roleplaying about you. Your admission doesn’t make me think about my daughter, but it makes me think about you, kissing. Your lips on another girl’s lips. Skin on skin. 18 year old giggles and sighs and moans just doors away from where Helen would be riding my face, pretending to be you. I imagine your lips, parting, pressed up against… Lindsay’s. Then I can’t get the image of you and Lindsay kissing out of my mind. I have immediate guilt at the image. I can’t think that way about my daughter.

My entire body is trembling. I’m confused at my arousal over the whole thing. Now I can’t look at you without seeing Lindsay at the end of your lips.

I take a large gulp of my champagne and sigh loudly. Suddenly conflicted.

 

[Becaa57]

My entire body is trembling. I’m confused at my arousal over the whole thing. Now I can’t look at you without seeing Lindsay at the end of your lips.

I take a large gulp of my champagne and sigh loudly. Suddenly conflicted.

I can see that confession of mine is really affecting you. I had thought as sexual as you and Helen were, especially considering you were feeling that way about me, it wouldn't bother you that much

"I'm sorry, I shared too much??? I didn't mean to upset you. I know that nothing happened between you guys and Lindsay, she and I did talk about that. Forget I mentioned it"

Damn!!! I've screwed this up big time.

"Should I go?"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"I'm sorry, I shared too much??? I didn't mean to upset you. I know that nothing happened between you guys and Lindsay, she and I did talk about that. Forget I mentioned it"

Of COURSE nothing happened between us and Lindsay. What is she even talking about? She's my daughter! Sure, she looks like Helen did when we started dating, but.... She's my daughter! And Helen would never have... Would she? NO. I couldn't even imagine!

Yet here I am, imagining. Imagining you kissing my daughter. Hands on exposed skin, aroused nipples, and pouty explorative kisses. And I'm fucking turned on. I'm not sure I've been this hard in years. My cock is uncomfortably hard in my swim trunks. I need to adjust myself or the head will be peeking out the leg of my trunks if I'm not careful. But you'd see if I reached down and adjusted myself. Dammit.

"Should I go?"

"God no. Please don't leave. It's just... As a Dad you block out any thought of your daughter as a sexual being. I just never... Wait. You two lived together in College. Did you ever?"

Fuck! Why did I just ask that?

 

[Becaa57]

"God no. Please don't leave. It's just... As a Dad you block out any thought of your daughter as a sexual being. I just never... Wait. You two lived together in College. Did you ever?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't even think that this would upset you. Of course it would. Most dads want to think of their daughters as untouched virgins, even when they grandkids!!!!!"

Avoiding the did we ever question, because to the answer to that would give him a heart attack.

Turning to you, taking your hand in mine, pressing it to my chest

"Forget I mentioned her, right now it is just the two of us, here enjoying a wonderful day and catching up on things"

Reaching to cup your head, bringing it to mine for a kiss

"There, an I'm sorry kiss"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Forget I mentioned her, right now it is just the two of us, here enjoying a wonderful day and catching up on things" You then cup my head and bring me toward you for a soft kiss. I immediately wonder if that is how you kissed Lindsay. Did you make the first move? Did you grab her head just like you grabbed mine?

I scoot forward, my hand on your chest. We're facing each other on this odd bench that is almost like two to three horse saddles put together to make a long one. The designer promised that having my wife on my lap, riding my cock would be very comfortable and as he put it, 'heaven.' For now, it's allowing us to be close, facing each other. Our knees star to touch and I can't believe my hand on your chest is so close to your pert breasts.

I feel the head of my cock lurch as it releases a spurt of pre-cum into the pool water. All I want to do is lean in and kiss you again. Kiss the lips that my daughter used to kiss. I wonder how long it's been since you two....

My eyes trail down your gorgeous chest and I notice your glass of champagne is empty. I get all school-boy nervous again and I start stuttering about how I should refill your glass. As I pull my hand off your chest I feel the fabric of your tiny bikini for an instant as my hand falls across your breast to grab your glass. I hop off the saddle-seat and wade over to the Champagne bottle and pour the remaining into our two glasses. I take a second to readjust my cock in my trunks so it's not peeking out and is comfortable again.

I turn and I see a smirk on your face again.

 

[Becaa57]

I can tell by how your stammering and fumbling around. Plus trying to hide you erection. Reminding me of some of the boys when I was in college with Lindsay, we'd laugh after they'd gone home to do what boys do when girls turn them down. Wondering if you'll be doing that and even more have you already done that?

"Speaking of Lindsay though, I do have to let her know I'm back in town. We have kept in touch, just for the big events"

Smililng as you come back. seeing that you've adjusted yourself, still very visiable but not looking like it's going to escape and ravage me.

"Thanks for the champagne, this will be my last. Too much of this gives me a very bad hangover"