Why

[uncle easy]

Have any others ever wondered why you got interested in bdsm? I have no reason for my interest but i have enjoyed it for most of my life. I am very lucky that my wife is a die hard sub. So we have had a life of very happy experiences. It really surprised me that there were not many people in the swinging world into it. She had one guy that really enjoyed spanking her and having anal with her. He was also the biggest size the she experienced.

 

[KoPilot]

Saw a random Disney animated short at precisely the right moment when I was 4 or 5.

 

[FurryFury]

I suspect most sex orientations are mostly genetically driven.

 

[Felix_Jones]

Their secret yearning for fascism.

 

[KoPilot]

Their secret yearning for fascism.

Nah, just groping around in the dark for ways to make the very-extant fascism in our lives just a little less shitty.

 

[desertslave]

I suspect most sex orientations are mostly genetically driven.

But is BDSM an orientation (like gender attraction) or a different form of interest? In my case, I'm fairly certain it was more "nurture than nature." Which is really sort of amusing, since my parents both preached 'you can do whatever you set your mind to' but actually had a very traditional relationship. I would never call my mom submissive, but she was devoted to my dad and often deferential, even to the point of surrendering her dreams and interest in order to become a genuine helpmeet in the family business. I think I learned basic submission by that example.

The SM connection was different, and I can't sufficiently explain it here without breaking the forum rules. I can say that, as a legal adult during my first heavy session, I felt like I had come home and that, while I couldn't fully understand the connections being made, I knew it was happening, and it was the most 'right' thing to have happened in a long time.

 

[MissShelly]

I have always loved vampire stories, and noticed more often tnan not the feeding of a vampire was erotic. I think thats where it started for me.

 

[Ahlam]

Have any others ever wondered why you got interested in bdsm? I have no reason for my interest but i have enjoyed it for most of my life. I am very lucky that my wife is a die hard sub. So we have had a life of very happy experiences. It really surprised me that there were not many people in the swinging world into it. She had one guy that really enjoyed spanking her and having anal with her. He was also the biggest size the she experienced.

In this case, I've found it's better not to wonder "why" and just to accept that what I like is what I like because I don't think I want to know!

 

[DVS]

I suspect most sex orientations are mostly genetically driven.

Genetically and what we were exposed to growing up, too. It's like a melting pot of genes and life experiences.

I don't know why I wanted to spank neighborhood girls, but I always wanted to. I don't ever remember not wanting to...even though I didn't know it had anything to do with BDSM. That has to be partly because of my genes. It had nothing to do with sex, but I just knew I liked it. What did I know? I was somewhere around 8-10 years old.

Then, somewhere along the line, I must have experienced something that triggered even more and I realized it was sexual. Bondage and domination were added to the mix, from reading stories in Penthouse and other rags that I was able to get my hands on. I still didn't know anything about BDSM, but just knew I enjoyed the idea of tying a woman up and spanking her.

The older I got, the more I learned about things and the more my urges progressed. Today, I have a vast arsenal of toys and gadgets and kinky thoughts that thrill me when I play with bound women. Genes and life experiences, with a little kinky literature and old movies where the villain captured the helpless maiden all mixed in for seasoning and flavor.

 

[jezzilee]

I have always had a submissive side, a need to please my partner that goes beyond the "normal" . I find that I can only be my true self with a Man that is intelligent and pushes not only my sexual limits but also my mind. Mindgasms are in~freakin~credible.

Growing up one could say my family was straight out of the 50's. My father did not want my mother to work, thought she should be the stay at home mom and he should be the one providing for the family. He was a foreman of a construction company and one of my fondest memories of my childhood is unlacing and removing his boots when he sat down after a hard days work.

 

[SassyKatz71]

why...

For me, I agree with many posters here. But for me, during a deep reflective moment on my life last year, from a child up I had the tendencies of a sub. Relationships always lacked something. I always felt unfulfilled but couldn't put my finger on what. Years after events in my life I came to realize what I was missing. A dominant partner in bed and life. I was always the agressor in that area but no partners understood or recognized my cues. I liked rough sex.But also gentle and sensual sex.Not into the pain is humiliation either, like others stated. Some genetic tendencies, always in the background.and the rest, I believe it's a coping mechanism. How I dealt with the past, negative events,emotional and mental pain etc..

I don't believe I'm a Natural sub.But I do have a lot of the tendencies. I then started my research, talking to those that knew about the lifestyle and as I learned, I learned about me. I'm still learning too. It is also how I found Lit.