Why So Serious?

[princesssexci]

"Our room?" Harley hadn't really expected to get her own room, not really. She had only maybe sort of hoped that she would get her own room. Sure, the joker was cute....in his own sorta way, but she wasn't the type of girl to rush into nothin. Her answer seemed to fade as he continued to talk about how they needed sleep, then started caressing her...intimately like before.

She opened her mouth to say something, only to quickly shut it as her eyes felt droopy. Harley didn't get a chance to respond because soon she was limp and off to dreamland full of crazy clowns and loads of cotton candy. Eventually, a few hours later her eyes fluttered open.

Harly groaned softly, looking around the room. It took her a minute to remember where she was and what had happened, but it came to her just as quickly as it had left. "That's the last time I fall asleep alone.." she grumbled, as she stumbled out of the bed.

 

[Ravenloft]

Harley awoke with a start.

*Diagnostic: started.... Complete.*

She talked to herself as she sat up in bed.

*Protocol: Joker v 9.0 Program: Human relations. Target: Harleen Quinzel.*

She stumbled out of bed just as the Joker reentered the room carrying a tray of breakfast food. "G'morning Puddin, did you sleep well? You really needed it, you were out for about eight and a half hours, two minutes, and thirty sec..." He said, turning his head as if he were trying to crack his neck. "I brought you some breakfast. You look beautiful, like an angel. Would you like a kiss now?" He asked, blinking a couple of times.

 

[princesssexci]

Harley blinked as she stared at the joker, still feeling slightly drugged. She shook her head, "No kiss, if you kiss me, who knows what might happen. You might drug me again..." She grumbled, crossing her arms against her chest. Harley didn't take too kindly to being drugged, all he had to do was tell her it was bed time.

She wasn't stupid enough to run away!

She cut the joker off from what he was about to say, " And if that was a joke, it wasn't very funny at all..."

Her eyes did wander over to the tray of food though, it was a plate of poached eggs on wheat toast with strawberries on the side. "I will take some food though..." She finally relented.

 

[Ravenloft]

"I mean you no harm... Pud-din, I only wish to make you happy. Biologically, you needed a full nights rest, by drugging you, I ensured that you got what your body needed. Please, forgive me, I will not drug you again."

The 'Joker' was silent for a moment as he blinked. "I... Understand, I will try to be funnier from now on." He gave her a big smile as she accepted the meal he had brought for her as he knelt before her, opening his hands. "Would you like a foot massage now, Puddin?" He asked, looking up at her with an affectionate grin.

 

[princesssexci]

Harley blushed, "I...I um, guess." Why was she actin so nervous, this was a guy dressed up in a clown suit. She shouldn't have felt the slightest bit nervous. Then again, she recalled how she had been affected by just his touch and for a small brief moment her mind wandered to what happened in the warehouse and what might've happened if she hadn't of pulled away.

"A-a foot rub sounds nice." She stammered, taking a small bite of the strawberry before sitting back down on the bed. She pushed her blonde hair out of her face and flashed Mistah J a smile of her own as she continued eating, taking a bite of the eggs this time, some of the yolk dripped from her lips and down her chin in a somewhat suggestive manor.

 

[Ravenloft]

The 'Joker' was more than happy to massage her feet as she sat down, continuing to eat her breakfast. Not only that, but he was damn good at it, his practiced hands worked away all her aches and discomfort in the matter of seconds before his touch took on a more intimate tone, bringing her foot to rest between his knees as he continued to massage her.

He looked up at her with expressive eyes, smiling as he noticed the dot of yellow egg yolk on her chin. He reached up and collected it on the tip of his finger and offered it back to her sweetly.

 

[princesssexci]

It shocked Harley that he was so good at rubbin feet, after all he had been locked away in the Asylum for quite some time, for a lot longer than she had been working there. His grasp on her foot was strong and firm but not overly so where it hurt.

It caused her to blush a few times as she ate, not having noticed the yellow spot of yolk on her chin, until he pulled his hand away from her foot and wiped her chin, offering the yolk to her. Harley bit her lip and leaned down to lick it off his finger. The way he was acting reminded her of why she had been on his side to begin with.

Because, he wasn't crazy...just misunderstood...like one of those looong jokes that took forever to finish and by the end of it, only one person understood it. Harley guessed that she was that one person who understood the joke, so to speak.

"Thanks..."

 

[Ravenloft]

"You're welcome, Puddin..." The 'Joker' replied as his eyes dialated and his voice took on a husky timbre. He parted his lips and breathed warmly against her foot as he returned his hands to massaging her. "Did you sleep well? What would you like to do today? Perhaps you would like to go out shopping? There is a nice mall near by, I would be glad to take you there."

 

[princesssexci]

Harley paused mid bite, the strawberry barely touching her lips. "Shopping?" At the moment, the mall seemed like the best place to go. Her eyes brightened a the thought of shopping. "Really?" She said, twirling her blonde hair, her bright blue eyes looking down at him. "I guess, I mean if ya think it's safe n all."

 

[Ravenloft]

"Of course its safe... For us." The 'Joker' replied with a wicked grin as his hands moved up to Harley's calves, drawing her foot to rest against his stomach. "Eat up, and then we can go... Anytime." His hands massaged in tight circles, warming the muscles in her legs to his touch.

 

[princesssexci]

Harley raised her eyebrow, what did he mean safe for them? His sly smile caused a brief moment of feeling fear towards him. She ate quietly as he continued to rub her feet. Finally, she finished her toast, eggs, and strawberries. "Thanks, that was real good..."

"W-what did you mean about safe for us? You aint gonna hurt anyone anymore are ya?" Harley asked hesitantly, "I mean, i know you're supposed to be the villain n all, but there isn't any need to hurt every one who crosses paths with you. Thats why you were put in the Asylum to begin with..."

 

[Ravenloft]

"Violence is a turn off for you, Puddin?" The 'Joker' asked with a concerned look on his face. "Very well, I will keep that in mind then... There is no need to harm others in an effort to please you. But what if you are being physically threatened? Should I allow such a thing to continue? Or would it be okay to inflict violence in such a case upon your aggressors?"

 

[princesssexci]

"Well, it isn't exactly what I'd call something that would get me off..." Harley said in response to his first question. Because really, what normal person got off on violence? She blushed yet again, at his second and third question. "Well, no of course not but...." She didn't really have a sufficient reason why he should hold back on violence if someone was hurtin her.

After all, from what she saw the only time he'd been truly violent was when Julia and Tess hurt her feelings. Or after she told him about the cheerleaders. Those hadn't been such bad reasons, not really. "I guess its alright..." she said changing her mind drastically. "A-all for the name of love right?"

She blushed again, "I could do the same for you, if ya wanted Mistah J."

 

[Ravenloft]

"All in the name of love..." The 'Joker' agreed with a nod. "I'm glad you understand." He added, tilting his head to the side as Harley said she'd do the same for him. "Really? You would? Even it was, oh, say... The Batman?"

 

[princesssexci]

Harley bit her lip, silent for a few minutes. Could she hurt the Batman? He hadn't really done anything wrong had he? Plus, even if he had it would be right because, would she have met Mistah J if he hadn't caught the joker...or if the joker hadn't let himself get caught.

"Only..." she paused, "only if he hurt you."

That sounded like a sufficient answer. Plus, it wouldn't really be fair if he hurt all the people who hurt her but she didn't do the same thing. That was kind of one sided and her mama always taught her that when in a relationship you needed to put in 110 percent. Not 50 percent.

 

[Ravenloft]

"Oh Puddin, you're so good to me, I could just kiss you..." The 'Joker' whispered, his eyes lighting up as if she'd just brought him to life. He leaned in and placed a tender kiss on her lips then, lingering ever so slightly before pulling back to see her reaction.

 

[princesssexci]

When he mentioned the kiss, Harley had to fight back the urge to roll her eyes. Hadn't he said that in the jail then made it out to be a joke. She was finding it hard to believe him. She flashed him a smile as his eyes lit up, then she had to hold back the urge to gasp as he leaned down to kiss her.

He hadn't actually kissed her before so it had shocked her. She barely noticed him staring at her when he pulled away from kiss. Her lips tingled and for a few seconds her fingers brushed over her lips as though her fingers could feel the soft kiss that had been placed there moments ago.

That was probably the moment she had decided that she was in love with the joker.

 

[Ravenloft]

The 'Joker' read Harley's physical reaction to his kiss, noting her pupils dialate while her skin temperature rose significantly, not to mention the way she gestured her hand, touching her lips. "Have I pleased you, Puddin?" He asked. "Would you like another kiss perhaps?"

 

[The_PG]

While Harley and the Joker played out their romantic tryst down in Outback, back in Gotham City the chaos that had been the last twenty-four hours was coming to an end. Bruce had been able to save all of the women from the boiling vats, though several had lost most of their hair and the woman Julia, Harley's former boss, had gone completely insane with the loss of her hair and burning of her scalp. It wasn't a stark, raving madness like the clowns she had worked on, but a dull, drooling, bored kind of stark stupidity that would make anyone feel sorry for her, well, anyone who had those kind of feelings and was human. Bruce wasn't, he couldn't be. Not now, not ever.

Restraining the Croc had been quite a challenge after he'd swam through the disgusting underbellies of the city and crawled right up into a major nuclear plant. The damn thing had started trying experiments in the labs, using men and women as the guinea pigs, needless to say very few of the test subjects survived. Bruce, as the Batman, had managed to take him down after a long battle thanks mostly to the arrival of Nightwing, his former apprentice Robin who still visited Gotham City from time to time, for whatever reason.

They had mended their differences long ago, mostly because of Dick's inability to distance his emotions from whatever job he did. Bruce had long ago found this both necessary and a powerful tool for fighting crime after Rachael (his only true love) had died many years ago. Without emotion he had been able to become something most criminals truly feared, and by most he meant the low life's and mafioso characters. These super villains were not 'most' criminals, and they were the only thing left that made Gotham City a bad place. In fact that was yet another of Dick and Bruce's differences, plenty of times Dick and commented on how much easier it would be to just off the quack jobs. Of course Bruce wouldn't do a thing like that, subverting the law was not in his nature, not in the least.

So now the Joker was out, and his most notorious enemy. The one who had killed Rachael, loose again. He figured it would be best to see if Dick could stick around for awhile, because when it came to the Joker it never hurt to be prepared.

 

[princesssexci]

The 'Joker' read Harley's physical reaction to his kiss, noting her pupils dialate while her skin temperature rose significantly, not to mention the way she gestured her hand, touching her lips. "Have I pleased you, Puddin?" He asked. "Would you like another kiss perhaps?"

Harley bit her lip blushing slightly. Almost hesitantly, she nodded at his first question. When he suggested another kiss, she blushed an even deeper shade of red.

Another kiss? Hell yeah she wanted another kiss, but she didn't want to seem to eager either. She also didn't want to make him think that she didn't like him either. Of course, she didn't like him...or at least, she didn't think she liked him. She was going to turn him into the bat, the first chance she got. Well, she thought she was going to turn him in the first chance she got.

After all, it wasn't really her fault that Miss Powers had been tied up. Was it?

Realizing that she had been thinking this over waaaay too much she bit her lip and gave the joker a timid little smile. "Yes, ..uh please?"

 

[Ravenloft]

The 'Joker' leaned in with a soft purr as he placed his lips against Harley's once more. His eyes were closed and his hands went around her body, one caressing the nape of her neck, the other resting supportively at the small of her back. It was an approximation of the old photo of the sailor kissing a woman he had found with an internal google search for using romantic+kiss as his request.

His eyes flew open in the middle of the kiss, detecting her pulse rate and the temperature of her skin, he broke the kiss. "You are aroused, but are also hiding something. What is it, Puddin?" He asked as he had an odd facial tick.

 

[princesssexci]

Harley's eyes snapped open from the kiss as she heard the hint of anger, it was hidden of course but she could hear it nonetheless in his voice, not at her being aroused but at her secret. "I-I'm not hidin anything, I swear!" Harley insisted. "I...what I mean to say..." she stammered, it was habit that she had, stammering whenever she was nervous about something. Though, the Joker had a unique sexy appeal to him...in the darkest of ways, he scared her.

She bit her lip, trying to think of something to say to get him distracted from her secret. She couldn't think of what to say though. She twirled her blonde hair, nervously trying to think quickly.

 

[Ravenloft]

The 'Joker's face twitched again as he smiled, saying. "It's alright Puddin, I trust you, because if you were hiding something, I believe you would tell me" "Would you like to go to the mall now? I will let you go get changed if you do." He asked as he rose from the bed, taking care of the few empty dishes that Harley had left, leaving the tray and the rest for her to nibble on at her leasure. "I will be back shortly, I promise. Oh and Puddin... I love you." He said from the door way, blowing her a kiss.

Outside the room, he depositied the dirty dishes into a garbage chute before returning to his designated storage unit hidden in the wall, where he transmited an audio/video feed of his interactions with Harley for the real Joker to view, before he powered down into a dormant state until he was needed again.

The real Joker got the alert message and opened the files in a small window, watching it as he finished up making sure that the Bat wasn't onto them for the time being. "Well... Thats a first... They never fooled Batsie" He muttered before bursting out laughing over the fact that Harley apparently had no clue that she'd been kissing an android replica of himself.

After watching most of the video feed, the Joker closed his massive computer down for the night, after all, he had a lady to take out on the town, now, didn't he?

 

[princesssexci]

Harley had been much too nervous to even pay attention to how the android Joker had been acting. Of course, it was a natural thing to do, get nervous around the joker that is. Even now, she hadn't realized she had been kissing an android. Harley sighed as took a bite of another strawberries from the tray of food that had been left there.

She wasn't sure how her plan was going to work out, or even if it would work out at all. After all, if she did decieve the joker, betray him in a sense, how would he get his pay back? Would he hate her? Did she care? No! He'd technically kidnapped her, okay well maybe not...but still, he had gotten her in huge trouble.

That deserved some payback didn't it? No matter how sweet he was being.

 

[Ravenloft]

"Oooooh Puddin!" The Joker called out as he entered Harley's room, dressed in a gawdy tropical button down shirt and bramuda shorts. He wore a lop sided blue berret as well. "Are you ready to set the city on fire with me tonight? A little dinner, a little dancing, some shopping, maybe even a movie, what do you think? You ready to play?" He asked as he brandished a black and white showman's cane while doing a little foot shuffle.